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press； the second book printed with a date； that date being 1459。
There are only eight copies of this work known to exist； you can have
one of them； if so disposed； and if you have change enough in your
pocket。 Twenty…six thousand two hundred and fifty dollars will make
you the happy owner of this precious volume。 If this is more than
you want to pay； you can have the Gold Gospels of Henry VIII。； on
purple vellum； for about half the money。 There are pages on pages of
titles of works any one of which would be a snug little property if
turned into money at its catalogue price。
Why will not our multimillionaires look over this catalogue of Mr。
Quaritch； and detain some of its treasures on this side of the
Atlantic for some of our public libraries？ We decant the choicest
wines of Europe into our cellars； we ought to be always decanting the
precious treasures of her libraries and galleries into our own； as we
have opportunity and means。 As to the means； there are so many rich
people who hardly know what to do with their money that it is well to
suggest to them any new useful end to which their superfluity may
contribute。 I am not in alliance with Mr。 Quaritch； in fact； I am
afraid of him； for if I stayed a single hour in his library； where I
never was but once； and then for fifteen minutes only； I should leave
it so much poorer than I entered it that I should be reminded of the
picture in the titlepage of Fuller's 〃Historie of the Holy Warre：
〃We went out full。 We returned empty。〃
After the teacups were all emptied； the card containing Number
Seven's abridged history of two worlds； this and the next； was handed
round。
This was all it held：
After all had looked at it； it was passed back to me。 〃Let The
Dictator interpret it；〃 they all said。
This is what I announced as my interpretation：
Two worlds； the higher and the lower； separated by the thinnest of
partitions。 The lower world is that of questions； the upper world is
that of answers。 Endless doubt and unrest here below； wondering；
admiring； adoring certainty above。 Am I not right？
〃You are right；〃 answered Number Seven solemnly。 〃That is my
revelation。〃
The following poem was found in the sugar…bowl。
I read it to the company。 There was much whispering and there were
many conjectures as to its authorship； but every Teacup looked
innocent； and we separated each with his or her private conviction。
I had mine； but I will not mention it。
THE ROSE AND THE FERN。
Lady； life's sweetest lesson wouldst thou learn；
Come thou with me to Love's enchanted bower：
High overhead the trellised roses burn；
Beneath thy feet behold the feathery fern；
A leaf without a flower。
What though the rose leaves fall？ They still are sweet；
And have been lovely in their beauteous prime；
While the bare frond seems ever to repeat；
〃For us no bud； no blossom； wakes to greet
The joyous flowering time！〃
Heed thou the lesson。 Life has leaves to tread
And flowers to cherish； summer round thee glows；
Wait not till autumn's fading robes are shed；
But while its petals still are burning red
Gather life's full…blown rose！
VI
Of course the reading of the poem at the end of the last paper has
left a deep impression。 I strongly suspect that something very much
like love…making is going on at our table。 A peep under the lid of
the sugar…bowl has shown me that there is another poem ready for the
company。 That receptacle is looked upon with an almost tremulous
excitement by more than one of The Teacups。 The two Annexes turn
towards the mystic urn as if the lots which were to determine their
destiny were shut up in it。 Number Five； quieter； and not betraying
more curiosity than belongs to the sex at all ages； glances at the
sugarbowl now and then； looking so like a clairvoyant； that sometimes
I cannot help thinking she must be one。 There is a sly look about
that young Doctor's eyes； which might imply that he knows something
about what the silver vessel holds； or is going to hold。 The Tutor
naturally falls under suspicion； as he is known to have written and
published poems。 I suppose the Professor and myself have hardly been
suspected of writing love…poems； but there is no telling；there is
no telling。 Why may not some one of the lady Teacups have played the
part of a masculine lover？ George Sand； George Eliot； Charles Egbert
Craddock； made pretty good men in print。 The authoress of 〃Jane
Eyre〃 was taken for a man by many persons。 Can Number Five be
masquerading in verse？ Or is one of the two Annexes the make。
believe lover？ Or did these girls lay their heads together； and send
the poem we had at our last sitting to puzzle the company？ It is
certain that the Mistress did not write the poem。 It is evident that
Number Seven； who is so severe in his talk about rhymesters； would
not； if he could； make such a fool of himself as to set up for a
〃poet。〃 Why should not the Counsellor fall in love and write verses？
A good many lawyers have been 〃poets。〃
Perhaps the next poem； which may be looked for in its proper place；
may help us to form a judgment。 We may have several verse…writers
among us； and if so there will be a good opportunity for the exercise
of judgment in distributing their productions among the legitimate
claimants。 In the mean time； we must not let the love…making and the
song…writing interfere with the more serious matters which these
papers are expected to contain。
Number Seven's compendious and comprehensive symbolism proved
suggestive； as his whimsical notions often do。 It always pleases me
to take some hint from anything he says when I can； and carry it out
in a direction not unlike that of his own remark。 I reminded the
company of his enigmatical symbol。
You can divide mankind in the same way； I said。 Two words； each of
two letters； will serve to distinguish two classes of human beings
who constitute the principal divisions of mankind。 Can any of you
tell what those two words are？
〃Give me five letters；〃 cried Number Seven； 〃and I can solve your
problem！ F…o…o…1…s；those five letters will give you the first and
largest half。 For the other fraction〃
Oh； but； said I； I restrict you absolutely to two letters。 If you
are going to take five； you may as well take twenty or a hundred。
After a few attempts； the company gave it up。 The nearest approach
to the correct answer was Number Five's guess of Oh and Ah： Oh
signifying eternal striving after an ideal； which belongs to one kind
of nature； and Ah the satisfaction of the other kind of nature； which
rests at ease in what it has attained。
Good！ I said to Number Five； but not the answer I am after。 The
great division between human beings is into the Ifs and the Ases。
Is the last word to be spelt with one or two s's？ 〃asked the young
Doctor。
The company laughed feebly at this question。 I answered it soberly。
With one s。 There are more foolish people among the Ifs than there
are among the Ases。
The company looked puzzled； and asked for an explanation。
This is the meaning of those two words as I interpret them：
If it were；if it might be；if it could be；if it had been。 One
portion of mankind go through life always regretting； always whining；
always imagining。 These are the people whose backbones remain
cartilaginous all their lives long； as do those of certain other
vertebrate animals；the sturgeons； for instance。 A good many poets
must be classed with this group of vertebrates。
As it is；this is the way in which the other class of people look at
the conditions in which they find themselves。 They may be optimists
or pessimists； they are very largely optimists；but； taking things
just as they find them； they adjust the facts to their wishes if they
can； and if they cannot； then they adjust themselves to the facts。 I
venture to say that if one should count the Ifs and the Ases in the
conversation of his acquaintances； he would find the more able and
important persons among themstatesmen； generals； men of business
among the Ases； and the majority of the conspicuous failures among
the Ifs。 I don't know but this would be as good a test as that of
Gideon；lapping the water or taking it up in the hand。 I have a
poetical friend whose conversation is starred as thick with ifs as a
boiled ham is with cloves。 But another friend of mine； a business
man； whom I trust in making my investments； would not let me meddle
with a certain stock which I fancied； because； as he said； 〃there are
too many ifs in it。 As it looks now； I would n't touch it。〃
I noticed； the other evening； that some private conversation was
going on between the Counsellor and the two Annexes。 There was a
mischievous look about the little group； and I thought they were
hatching some plot among them。 I did not hear what the En