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s the great grief of her life; the perpetual source of indignation; her strongest argument against Christianity。
〃Have you much to do tonight?〃 she asked; not anxious to stir up afresh the revolt against the world's injustice which the merest touch would set working within her。 〃I was thinking that; if there was time to spare; we might go to see the professor; he has promised to show me some experiments。〃
〃Electricity?〃 Tom pricked up his ears。 〃Not half a bad idea。 If you'll help me we can polish off the letters in an hour or so; and be free by eight o'clock。〃
They set to work; and between them disposed of the correspondence。
It was a great relief to Erica after her long day's work to be out in the cool evening air。 The night was fine but very windy; indeed the sudden gusts at the street corners made her glad to take Tom's arm。 Once; as they rather slackened their speed; half baffled by the storm; a sentence from a passer…by fell on their ears。 The speaker looked like a countryman。
〃Give me a good gas…burner with pipes and a meter that a honest man can understand! Now this 'ere elective light I say it's not canny; I've no belief in things o' that kind; it won't never〃
The rest of the speech died away in the distance。 Tom and Erica laughed; but the incident set Erica thinking。 Here was a man who would not believe what he could not understand; who wanted 〃pipes and a meter;〃 and for want of comprehensible outward signs pooh…poohed the great new discovery。
〃Tom;〃 she said slowly; and with the manner of one who makes a very unpleasant suggestion; reluctantly putting forward an unwelcome thought; 〃suppose if; after all; we are like that man; and reject a grand discovery because we don't know and are too ignorant to understand! Tom; just suppose if; after all; Christianity should be true and we in the wrong!〃
〃Just suppose if; after all; the earth should be a flat plain with the sun moving round it!〃 replied Tom scornfully。
They were walking down the Strand; he did not speak for some minutes; in fact he was looking at the people who passed by them。 For the first time in his life a great contrast struck him。 Disreputable vulgarity; wickedness; and vice stared him in the face; then involuntarily he turned to Erica and looked down at her scrutinizingly as he had never looked before。 She was evidently wrapped in thought but it was not the intellect in her face which he thought of just then; though it was ever noticeable; nor was it the actual beauty of feature which struck him; it was rather an undefined consciousness that here was a purity which was adorable。 From that moment he became no longer a boy; but a man with a high standard of womanhood。 Instantly he thought with regret of his scornful little speechit was contemptible。
〃I beg your pardon;〃 he said; abruptly ;as if she had been following his whole train of thought。 〃Of course one is bound to study the question fairly; but we have done that; and all that remains for us is to live as usefully as we can and as creditably to the cause as may be。〃
They had turned down one of the dingy little streets leading to the river; and now stood outside Professor Gosse's door。 Erica did not reply。 It was true she had heard arguments for and against Christianity all her life; but had she ever studied it with strict impartiality? Had she not always been strongly biased in favor of secularism? Had not Mr。 Osmond gone unpleasantly near the mark when he warned her against being prejudiced by the wrong…doing of a few modern Christians against Christianity itself! She was coming now for special instruction in science from one who was best calculated to teach; she would not have dreamed of asking instruction from one who was a disbeliever in science。 Would the same apply in matters of religious belief? Was she bound actually to ask instruction from Charles Osmond; for instance; even though she believed that he taught errorharmful error? Yet who was to be the judge of what was error; except by perfectly fair consideration of both sides of the case。 Had she been fair? What was perfect fairness?
But people must go on living; and must speak and act even though their minds are in a chaos of doubts and questionings。 They had reached Professor Gosse's study; or as he himself called it; his workshop; and Erica turned with relief to the verifiable results of scientific inquiry。
CHAPTER XI。 The Wheels Run Down
Great grace; as saith Sir Thomas More; To him must needs be given; Who heareth heresy; and leaves The heretic to Heaven。 Whittier。
The clock in a neighboring church tower was just striking five on a warm afternoon in June。 The pillar box stood at the corner of Guilford Square nearest the church; and on this particular afternoon there chanced to be several people running at the last moment to post their letters。 Among others were Brian and Erica。 Brian; with a great bundle of parish notices; had just reached the box when running down the other side of the square at full speed he saw his Undine carrying a bagful of letters。 He had not met her for some weeks; for it happened to have been a busy time with him; and though she had been very good in coming to read to old Mrs。 Osmond; he had always just missed her。
〃This is a funny meeting place;〃 she exclaimed; rather breathlessly。 〃It never struck me before what a truly national institution the post office isa place where people of all creeds and opinions can meet together; and are actually treated alike!〃
Brian smiled。
〃You have been very busy;〃 he said; glancing at the innumerable envelopes; which she was dropping as fast as might be into the narrow receptacle。 He could see that they were directed in her small; clear; delicate handwriting。
〃And you; too;〃 she said; looking at his diminished bundle。 〃Mine are secularist circulars; and yours; I suppose; are the other kind of thing; but you see the same pillar eats them up quite contentedly。 The post office is beautifully national; it sets a good example。〃
She spoke lightly; but there was a peculiar tone in her voice which betrayed great weariness。 It made Brian look at her more attentively than he had yet doneless from a lover's point of view; more from a doctor's。 She was very pale。 Though the running had brought a faint color to her cheeks; her lips were white; her forehead almost deathly。 He knew that she had never really been well since her mother's death; but the change wrought within the last three weeks dismayed him; she was the mere shadow of her former self。
〃This hot weather is trying you;〃 he said。
〃Something is;〃 she replied。 〃Work; or weather; or worry; or the three combined。〃
〃Come in and see my father;〃 said Brian; 〃and be idle for a little time; you will be writing more circulars if you go home。〃
〃No; they are all done; and my examination is over; and there is nothing special going on just now; I think that is why I feel so like breaking down。〃
After a little more persuasion; she consented to go in and see Mr。 Osmond。 The house always had a peculiarly restful feeling; and the mere thought of rest was a relief to her; she would have liked the wheels of life to stop for a little while; and there was rest in the mere change of atmosphere。 On the doorstep Brian encountered a patient; much to his vexation; so he could only take Erica into the study; and go in search of his father。 He lingered however; just to tell him of his fears。
〃She looks perfectly worn out; you must find out what is wrong; father; and make her promise to see some one。〃
His tone betrayed such anxiety that his father would not smile although he was secretly amused at the task deputed to him。 However; clergyman as he was; he had a good deal of the doctor about him; and he had seen so much of sickness and disease during his long years of hard work among the poor that he was after all about as ready an observer and as good a judge as Brian could have selected。
Erica; leaning back in the great easy chair; which had been moved into summer quarters beside the window; heard the slow soft step she had learned to know so well; and before she had time to get up; found her hand in Charles Osmond's strong clasp。
〃How comfortable your chair is;〃 she said; smiling; 〃I believe I was nearly asleep。〃
He looked at her attentively; but without appearing to study her face in any way。 She was very pale and there was an indefinable look of pain in her eyes。
〃Any news of the examination?〃 he asked; sitting down opposite her。
〃No; it is too soon yet;〃 she replied。 〃I thought I should have felt so anxious about it; but do you know; now that it is over; I can't make myself care a bit。 If I have failed altogether; I don't believe I shall mind very much。〃
〃Too tired to care for anything?〃
〃Yes; I seem to have come to the end。 I wish I were a watch; and could run down and rest for a few days and be wound up again。〃
He smiled。 〃What have you been doing with yourself to get so tired?〃
〃Oh; nothing particular; it has been rather a long day。 Let me see! In the morning there were two delegates from Rilchester who had to be kept in a good temper till my father was ready for them; then there was father's bag to be pac