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the diary of an old soul-第5章

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Ordering all things in thy potent will;
Silent; and thinking ever to thy father;
Whose thought through thee flows multitudinous?
Or shall I think of thee as journeying; rather;
Ceaseless through space; because thou everything dost fill?

23。

That all things thou dost fill; I well may think
Thy power doth reach me in so many ways。
Thou who in one the universe dost bind;
Passest through all the channels of my mind;
The sun of thought; across the farthest brink
Of consciousness thou sendest me thy rays;
Nor drawest them in when lost in sleep I sink。

24。

So common are thy paths; thy coming seems
Only another phase oft of my me;
But nearer is my I; O Lord; to thee;
Than is my I to what itself it deems;
How better then couldst thou; O master; come;
Than from thy home across into my home;
Straight o'er the marches that I cannot see!

25。

Marches?'Twixt thee and me there's no division;
Except the meeting of thy will and mine;
The loves that love; the wills that will the same。
Where thine meets mine is my life's true condition;
Yea; only there it burns with any flame。
Thy will but holds me to my life's fruition。
O God; I wouldI have no mine that is not thine。

26。

I look for thee; and do not see thee come。
If I could see thee; 'twere a commoner thing;
And shallower comfort would thy coming bring。
Earth; sea; and air lie round me moveless dumb;
Never a tremble; an expectant hum;
To tell the Lord of Hearts is drawing near:
Lo! in the looking eyes; the looked for Lord is here。

27。

I take a comfort from my very badness:
It is for lack of thee that I am bad。
How close; how infinitely closer yet
Must I come to thee; ere I can pay one debt
Which mere humanity has on me set!
〃How close to thee!〃no wonder; soul; thou art glad!
Oneness with him is the eternal gladness。

28。

What can there be so close as making and made?
Nought twinned can be so near; thou art more nigh
To me; my God; than is this thinking I
To that I mean when I by me is said;
Thou art more near me; than is my ready will
Near to my love; though both one place do fill;
Yet; till we are one;Ah me! the long until!

29。

Then shall my heart behold thee everywhere。
The vision rises of a speechless thing;
A perfectness of bliss beyond compare!
A time when I nor breathe nor think nor move;
But I do breathe and think and feel thy love;
The soul of all the songs the saints do sing!
And life dies out in bliss; to come again in prayer。

30。

In the great glow of that great love; this death
Would melt away like a fantastic cloud;
I should no more shrink from it than from the breath
That makes in the frosty air a nimbus…shroud;
Thou; Love; hast conquered death; and I aloud
Should triumph over him; with thy saintly crowd;
That where the Lamb goes ever followeth。





MAY。

1。

WHAT though my words glance sideways from the thing
Which I would utter in thine ear; my sire!
Truth in the inward parts thou dost desire
Wise hunger; not a fitness fine of speech:
The little child that clamouring fails to reach
With upstretched hand the fringe of her attire;
Yet meets the mother's hand down hurrying。

2。

Even when their foolish words they turned on him;
He did not his disciples send away;
He knew their hearts were foolish; eyes were dim;
And therefore by his side needs must they stay。
Thou will not; Lord; send me away from thee。
When I am foolish; make thy cock crow grim;
If that is not enough; turn; Lord; and look on me。

3。

Another day of gloom and slanting rain!
Of closed skies; cold winds; and blight and bane!
Such not the weather; Lord; which thou art fain
To give thy chosen; sweet to heart and brain!
Until we mourn; thou keep'st the merry tune;
Thy hand unloved its pleasure must restrain;
Nor spoil both gift and child by lavishing too soon。

4。

But all things shall be ours! Up; heart; and sing。
All things were made for uswe are God's heirs
Moon; sun; and wildest comets that do trail
A crowd of small worlds for a swiftness…tail!
Up from Thy depths in me; my child…heart bring
The child alone inherits anything:
God's little children…godsall things are theirs!

5。

Thy great deliverance is a greater thing
Than purest imagination can foregrasp;
A thing beyond all conscious hungering;
Beyond all hope that makes the poet sing。
It takes the clinging world; undoes its clasp;
Floats it afar upon a mighty sea;
And leaves us quiet with love and liberty and thee。

6。

Through all the fog; through all earth's wintery sighs;
I scent Thy spring; I feel the eternal air;
Warm; soft; and dewy; filled with flowery eyes;
And gentle; murmuring motions everywhere
Of life in heart; and tree; and brook; and moss;
Thy breath wakes beauty; love; and bliss; and prayer;
And strength to hang with nails upon thy cross。

7。

If thou hadst closed my life in seed and husk;
And cast me into soft; warm; damp; dark mould;
All unaware of light come through the dusk;
I yet should feel the split of each shelly fold;
Should feel the growing of my prisoned heart;
And dully dream of being slow unrolled;
And in some other vagueness taking part。

8。

And little as the world I should foreknow
Up into which I was about to rise
Its rains; its radiance; airs; and warmth; and skies;
How it would greet me; how its wind would blow
As little; it may be; I do know the good
Which I for years half darkling have pursued
The second birth for which my nature cries。

9。

The life that knows not; patient waits; nor longs:
I know; and would be patient; yet would long。
I can be patient for all coming songs;
But let me sing my one monotonous song。
To me the time is slow my mould among;
To quicker life I fain would spur and start
The aching growth at my dull…swelling heart。

10。

Christ is the pledge that I shall one day see;
That one day; still with him; I shall awake;
And know my God; at one with him and free。
O lordly essence; come to life in me;
The will…throb let me feel that doth me make;
Now have I many a mighty hope in thee;
Then shall I rest although the universe should quake。

11。

Haste to me; Lord; when this fool…heart of mine
Begins to gnaw itself with selfish craving;
Or; like a foul thing scarcely worth the saving;
Swoln up with wrath; desireth vengeance fine。
Haste; Lord; to help; when reason favours wrong;
Haste when thy soul; the high…born thing divine;
Is torn by passion's raving; maniac throng。

12。

Fair freshness of the God…breathed spirit air;
Pass through my soul; and make it strong to love;
Wither with gracious cold what demons dare
Shoot from my hell into my world above;
Let them drop down; like leaves the sun doth sear;
And flutter far into the inane and bare;
Leaving my middle…earth calm; wise; and clear。

13。

Even thou canst give me neither thought nor thing;
Were it the priceless pearl hid in the land;
Which; if I fix thereon a greedy gaze;
Becomes not poison that doth burn and cling;
Their own bad look my foolish eyes doth daze;
They see the gift; see not the giving hand
》From the living root the apple dead I wring。

14。

This versing; even the reading of the tale
That brings my heart its joy unspeakable;
Sometimes will softly; unsuspectedly hale
That heart from thee; and all its pulses quell。
Discovery's pride; joy's bliss; take aback my sail;
And sweep me from thy presence and my grace;
Because my eyes dropped from the master's face。

15。

Afresh I seek thee。 Lead meonce more I pray
Even should it be against my will; thy way。
Let me not feel thee foreign any hour;
Or shrink from thee as an estranged power。
Through doubt; through faith; through bliss; through stark dismay;
Through sunshine; wind; or snow; or fog; or shower;
Draw me to thee who art my only day。

16。

I would go near theebut I cannot press
Into thy presenceit helps not to presume。
Thy doors are deeds; the handles are their doing。
He whose day…life is obedient righteousness;
Who; after failure; or a poor success;
Rises up; stronger effort yet renewing
He finds thee; Lord; at length; in his own common room。

17。

Lord; thou hast carried me through this evening's duty;
I am released; weary; and well content。
O soul; put on the evening dress of beauty;
Thy sunset…flush; of gold and purple blent!
Alas; the moment I turn to my heart;
Feeling runs out of doors; or stands apart!
But such as I am; Lord; take me as thou art。

18。

The word he then did speak; fits now as then;
For the same kind of men doth mock at it。
God…fools; God…drunkards these do call the men
Who think the poverty of their all not fit;
Borne humbly by their art; their voice; their pen;
Save for its allness; at thy feet to fling;
For whom all is unfit that is not everything。

19。

O Christ; my life; possess me utterly。
Take me and make a little Christ of me。
If I am anything but thy father's son;
'Tis something not yet from the darkness won。
Oh; give me light to live with open eyes。
Oh; give me life to hope above all skies。
Give me thy spirit to haunt the Father with my cries。

20。

'Tis hard for man to rouse his spirit up
It is the human creative agony;
Though but to hold the heart an empty cup;
Or tighten on the team the
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