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wer。
〃Vous allez m'oublier; et ne plus penser a moini me voir。 Les hommesegoistes menteurs; pas dire la verite 。 。 。〃 so ran the questions; considerably devoid of auxiliary verbs and such details of construction。
〃Je serais jamais t'oublier;〃 ran the frightful answers!
Dear Pauline! Shall I ever see her again? She was but twenty…six。 She may still live。
CHAPTER XIV
END OF BOOK THREE
So ended my pilgrimage。 I had wandered far; had loved many; but I came back to London without the Golden Girl。 I had begun my pilgrimage with a vision; and it was with a vision that I ended it。 From all my goings to and fro upon the earth; I had brought back only the image of a woman's face;the face of that strange woman of the moorland; still haunting my dreams of the night and the day。
It was autumn in my old garden; damp and forsaken; and the mulberry…tree was hung with little yellow shields。 My books looked weary of awaiting me; and they and the whole lonely house begged me to take them where sometimes they might be handled by human fingers; mellowed by lamplight; cheered by friendly laughter。
The very chairs begged mutely to be sat upon; the chill white beds to be slept in。 Yes; the very furniture seemed even lonelier than myself。
So I took heed of their dumb appeal。
〃I know;〃 I answered them tenderly;〃I too; with you; have looked on better days; I too have been where bells have knoll'd to church; I too have sat at many a good man's feast;yes! I miss human society; even as you; my books; my bedsteads; and my side… boards;so let it be。 It is plain our little Margaret is not coming back; our little Margaret; dear haunted rooms; will never come back; no longer shall her little silken figure flit up and down your quiet staircases; her hands filled with flowers; and her heart humming with little songs。 Yes; let us go; it is very lonely; we shall die if we stay here all so lonely together; it is time; let us go。〃
So thereon I wrote to a furniture…remover; and went out to walk round the mossy old garden for the last time; and say good…bye to the great mulberry; under whose Dodonaesque shade we had sat half frightened on starry nights; to the apple…trees whose blossom had seemed like fairy…land to Margaret and me; town…bred folk; to the apricots and the peaches and the nectarines that it had seemed almost wicked to own;as though we had gone abroad in silk and velvet;to the little grassy orchard; and to the little green corner of it; where Margaret had fallen asleep that summer afternoon; in the great wicker…chair; and I had brought a dear friend on tiptoe to gaze on her asleep; with her olive cheeks delicately flushed; her great eyelids closed like the cheeks of roses; and her gold hair tumbled about her neck 。 。 。
Well; well; good…bye;tears are foolish things。 They will not bring Margaret back。 Good…bye; old garden; good…bye; I shall never see you again;good…bye。
BOOK IV
THE POSTSCRIPT TO A PILGRIMAGE
CHAPTER I
SIX YEARS AFTER
This book is like a woman's letter。 The most important part of it is the postscript
Six years lie between the end of the last chapter and the beginning of this。 Meanwhile; I had moved to sociable chambers within sound of the city clocks; and had lived the life of a lonely man about town; sinking more and more into the comfortable sloth of bachelorhood。 I had long come to look back upon my pilgrimage as a sort of Indian…summer youth; being; as the reader can reckon for himself; just on thirty…seven。 As one will; with one's most serious experiences; hastening to laugh lest one should weep; as the old philosopher said; I had made some fun out of my quest; in the form of a paper for a bookish society to which I belonged; on 〃Woman as a Learned Pursuit。〃 It is printed among the transactions of the society; and is accessible to the curious only by loan from the members; and I regret that I am unable to print any extracts here。 Perhaps when I am dead the society will see the criminal selfishness of reserving for itself what was meant for mankind。
Meanwhile; however; it is fast locked and buried deep in the archives of the club。 I have two marriages to record in the interval: one that of a young lady whom I must still think of as ‘Nicolete' to Sir Marmaduke Pettigrew; Bart。; of Dultowers Hall; and the other the well…known marriage of Sylvia Joy 。 。 。
Sylvia Joy married after all her fine protestations! Yes! but I'm sure you will forgive her; for she was married to a lord。 When one is twenty and romantic one would scorn a woman who would jilt us for wealth and position; at thirty; one would scorn any woman who didn't。 Ah me! how one changes! No one; I can honestly say; was happier over these two weddings than I; and I sent Sylvia her petticoat as a wedding present。
But it was to tell of other matters that I reopen this book and once more take up my penmatters so near to my heart that I shrink from writing of them; and am half afraid that the attempt may prove too hard for me after all; and my book end on a broken cry of pain。 Yet; at the same time; I want to write of them; for they are beautiful and solemn; and good food for the heart。
Besides; though my pilgrimage had been ended so long; they are really a part; yea; the part for which; though I knew it not; all the rest has been writtenfor they tell how I came to find by accident her whom so long I had sought of design。
How shall I tell of Thee who; first and last of all women; gave and awoke in me that love which is the golden key of the world; the mystic revelation of the holy meaning of life; love that alone may pass through the awful gates of the stars; and gaze unafraid into the blue abysses beyond?
Ah! Love; it seemed far away indeed from the stars; the place where we met; and only by the light of love's eyes might we have found each otheras only by the light of love's eyes 。 。 。 But enough; my Heart; the world waits to hear our story;the world once so unloving to you; the world with a heart so hard and anon so soft for love。 When the story is ended; my love; when the story is ended
CHAPTER II
GRACE O' GOD
It was a hard winter's night four years ago; lovely and merciless; and towards midnight I walked home from a theatre to my rooms in St。 James's Street。 The Venusberg of Piccadilly looked white as a nun with snow and moonlight; but the melancholy music of pleasure; and the sad daughters of joy; seemed not to heed the cold。 For another hour death and pleasure would dance there beneath the electric lights。
Through the strange women clustering at the corners I took my way;women of the Moabites; Ammonites; Edomites; Zidonians; and Hittites;and I thought; as I looked into their poor painted faces;faces but half human; vampirish faces; faces already waxen with the look of the grave;I thought; as I often did; of the poor little girl whom De Quincey loved; the good…hearted little ‘peripatetic' as he called her; who had succoured him during those nights; when; as a young man; he wandered homeless about these very streets;that good; kind little Ann whom De Quincey had loved; then so strangely lost; and for whose face he looked into women's faces as long as he lived。 Often have I stood at the corner of Titchfield Street; and thought how De Quincey had stood there night after night waiting for her to come; but all in vain; and how from the abyss of oblivion into which some cruel chance had swept her; not one cry from her ever reached him again。
I thought; too; as I often did; what if the face I seek should be here among these poor outcasts;golden face hidden behind a mask of shame; true heart still beating true even amidst this infernal world!
Thus musing; I had walked my way out of the throng; and only a figure here and there in the shadows of doorways waited and waited in the cold。
It was something about one of these waiting figures;some movement; some chance posture;that presently surprised my attention and awakened a sudden sense of half recognition。 She stood well in the shadow; seeming rather to shrink from than to court attention。 As I walked close by her and looked keenly into her face; she cast down her eyes and half turned away。 Surely; I had seen that tall; noble figure somewhere before; that haughty head; and then with the apparition a thought struck mebut; no! it couldn't be she! not HERE!
〃It is;〃 said my soul; as I turned and walked past her again; 〃you missed her once; are you going to miss her again?〃
〃It is;〃 said my eyes; as they swept her for the third time; 〃but she had glorious chestnut hair; and the hair of this woman isgilded。〃
〃It is she;〃 said my heart; 〃thank God; it is she!〃
So it was that I went up to that tall; shy figure。
〃It must be very cold here;〃 I said; 〃will you not join me in some supper?〃
She assented; and we sought one of the many radiating centres of festivity in the neighbourhood。 She was very tired and cold; so tired she seemed hardly to have the spirit to eat; and evidently the cold had taken tight clutch of her lungs; for she had a cough that went to my heart to hear; and her face was ghastly pale。 When I had persuaded her to drink a little wine; she grew more animated and spots of suspicious c