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the works of edgar allan poe-3-第24章

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gathered around us might have an opportunity of lifting; when it was
possible that the ship we had seen might be again in sight。 After
great difficulty I obtained from them a promise to wait thus long;
and; as I had anticipated (a breeze rapidly coming in); the fog
lifted before the hour had expired; when; no vessel appearing in
sight; we prepared to draw lots。

    It is with extreme reluctance that I dwell upon the appalling
scene which ensued; a scene which; with its minutest details; no
after events have been able to efface in the slightest degree from my
memory; and whose stern recollection will embitter every future
moment of my existence。 Let me run over this portion of my narrative
with as much haste as the nature of the events to be spoken of will
permit。 The only method we could devise for the terrific lottery; in
which we were to take each a chance; was that of drawing straws。
Small splinters of wood were made to answer our purpose; and it was
agreed that I should be the holder。 I retired to one end of the hulk;
while my poor companions silently took up their station in the other
with their backs turned toward me。 The bitterest anxiety which I
endured at any period of this fearful drama was while I occupied
myself in the arrangement of the lots。 There are few conditions into
which man can possibly fall where he will not feel a deep interest in
the preservation of his existence; an interest momentarily increasing
with the frailness of the tenure by which that existence may be held。
But now that the silent; definite; and stern nature of the business
in which I was engaged (so different from the tumultuous dangers of
the storm or the gradually approaching horrors of famine) allowed me
to reflect on the few chances I had of escaping the most appalling of
deaths… a death for the most appalling of purposes… every particle of
that energy which had so long buoyed me up departed like feathers
before the wind; leaving me a helpless prey to the most abject and
pitiable terror。 I could not; at first; even summon up sufficient
strength to tear and fit together the small splinters of wood; my
fingers absolutely refusing their office; and my knees knocking
violently against each other。 My mind ran over rapidly a thousand
absurd projects by which to avoid becoming a partner in the awful
speculation。 I thought of falling on my knees to my companions; and
entreating them to let me escape this necessity; of suddenly rushing
upon them; and; by putting one of them to death; of rendering the
decision by lot useless… in short; of every thing but of going
through with the matter I had in hand。 At last; after wasting a long
time in this imbecile conduct; I was recalled to my senses by the
voice of Parker; who urged me to relieve them at once from the
terrible anxiety they were enduring。 Even then I could not bring
myself to arrange the splinters upon the spot; but thought over every
species of finesse by which I could trick some one of my
fellow…sufferers to draw the short straw; as it had been agreed that
whoever drew the shortest of four splinters from my hand was to die
for the preservation of the rest。 Before any one condemn me for this
apparent heartlessness; let him be placed in a situation precisely
similar to my own。

    At length delay was no longer possible; and; with a heart almost
bursting from my bosom; I advanced to the region of the forecastle;
where my companions were awaiting me。 I held out my hand with the
splinters; and Peters immediately drew。 He was free… his; at least;
was not the shortest; and there was now another chance against my
escape。 I summoned up all my strength; and passed the lots to
Augustus。 He also drew immediately; and he also was free; and now;
whether I should live or die; the chances were no more than precisely
even。 At this moment all the fierceness of the tiger possessed my
bosom; and I felt toward my poor fellow…creature; Parker; the most
intense; the most diabolical hatred。 But the feeling did not last;
and; at length; with a convulsive shudder and closed eyes; I held out
the two remaining splinters toward him。 It was fully five minutes
before he could summon resolution to draw; during which period of
heartrending suspense I never once opened my eyes。 Presently one of
the two lots was quickly drawn from my hand。 The decision was then
over; yet I knew not whether it was for me or against me。 No one
spoke; and still I dared not satisfy myself by looking at the
splinter I held。 Peters at length took me by the hand; and I forced
myself to look up; when I immediately saw by the countenance of
Parker that I was safe; and that he it was who had been doomed to
suffer。 Gasping for breath; I fell senseless to the deck。

    I recovered from my swoon in time to behold the consummation of
the tragedy in the death of him who had been chiefly instrumental in
bringing it about。 He made no resistance whatever; and was stabbed in
the back by Peters; when he fell instantly dead。 I must not dwell
upon the fearful repast which immediately ensued。 Such things may be
imagined; but words have no power to impress the mind with the
exquisite horror of their reality。 Let it suffice to say that; having
in some measure appeased the raging thirst which consumed us by the
blood of the victim; and having by common consent taken off the
hands; feet; and head; throwing them together with the entrails; into
the sea; we devoured the rest of the body; piecemeal; during the four
ever memorable days of the seventeenth; eighteenth; nineteenth; and
twentieth of the month。

     On the nineteenth; there coming on a smart shower which lasted
fifteen or twenty minutes; we contrived to catch some water by means
of a sheet which had been fished up from the cabin by our drag just
after the gale。 The quantity we took in all did not amount to more
than half a gallon; but even this scanty allowance supplied us with
comparative strength and hope。

    On the twenty…first we were again reduced to the last necessity。
The weather still remained warm and pleasant; with occasional fogs
and light breezes; most usually from N。 to W。

    On the twenty…second; as we were sitting close huddled together;
gloomily revolving over our lamentable condition; there flashed
through my mind all at once an idea which inspired me with a bright
gleam of hope。 I remembered that; when the foremast had been cut
away; Peters; being in the windward chains; passed one of the axes
into my hand; requesting me to put it; if possible; in a place of
security; and that a few minutes before the last heavy sea struck the
brig and filled her I had taken this axe into the forecastle and laid
it in one of the larboard berths。 I now thought it possible that; by
getting at this axe; we might cut through the deck over the
storeroom; and thus readily supply ourselves with provisions。

    When I communicated this object to my companions; they uttered a
feeble shout of joy; and we all proceeded forthwith to the
forecastle。 The difficulty of descending here was greater than that
of going down in the cabin; the opening being much smaller; for it
will be remembered that the whole framework about the cabin
companion…hatch had been carried away; whereas the forecastle…way;
being a simple hatch of only about three feet square; had remained
uninjured。 I did not hesitate; however; to attempt the descent; and a
rope being fastened round my body as before; I plunged boldly in;
feet foremost; made my way quickly to the berth; and at the first
attempt brought up the axe。 It was hailed with the most ecstatic joy
and triumph; and the ease with which it had been obtained was
regarded as an omen of our ultimate preservation。

    We now commenced cutting at the deck with all the energy of
rekindled hope; Peters and myself taking the axe by turns; Augustus's
wounded arm not permitting him to aid us in any degree。 As we were
still so feeble as to be scarcely able to stand unsupported; and
could consequently work but a minute or two without resting; it soon
became evident that many long hours would be necessary to accomplish
our task… that is; to cut an opening sufficiently large to admit of a
free access to the storeroom。 This consideration; however; did not
discourage us; and; working all night by the light of the moon; we
succeeded in effecting our purpose by daybreak on the morning of the
twenty…third。

    Peters now volunteered to go down; and; having made all
arrangements as before; he descended; and soon returned bringing up
with him a small jar; which; to our great joy; proved to be full of
olives。 Having shared these among us; and devoured them with the
greatest avidity; we proceeded to let him down again。 This time he
succeeded beyond our utmost expectations; returning instantly with a
large ham and a bottle of Madeira wine。 Of the latter we each took a
moderate sup; having learned by experience the pernicious
consequences of indulging too freely。 The ham; except about two
pounds near the bone; was not in a condition to be eaten; having been
entirely spoiled by the salt water。 The sound part was divided among
us。 Peters and Augustus; not being able to restrain 
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