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the blame： all the meannesses your youth concealed have been
gathering in your face。 But the pretty thoughts and sweet ways
and dear； forgotten kindnesses linger there also； to bloom in
your twilight like evening primroses。
Is it not strange that； though I talk thus plainly to David about
his mother； he still seems to think me fond of her？ How now； I
reflect； what sort of bumpkin is this； and perhaps I say to him
cruelly： 〃Boy； you are uncommonly like your mother。〃
To which David： 〃Is that why you are so kind to me？〃
I suppose I am kind to him； but if so it is not for love of his
mother； but because he sometimes calls me father。 On my honour
as a soldier； there is nothing more in it than that。 I must not
let him know this； for it would make him conscious； and so break
the spell that binds him and me together。 Oftenest I am but
Captain W to him； and for the best of reasons。 He addresses me
as father when he is in a hurry only； and never have I dared ask
him to use the name。 He says； 〃Come； father；〃 with an accursed
beautiful carelessness。 So let it be； David； for a little while
longer。
I like to hear him say it before others； as in shops。 When in
shops he asks the salesman how much money he makes in a day； and
which drawer he keeps it in； and why his hair is red； and does he
like Achilles； of whom David has lately heard； and is so
enamoured that he wants to die to meet him。 At such times the
shopkeepers accept me as his father； and I cannot explain the
peculiar pleasure this gives me。 I am always in two minds then；
to linger that we may have more of it； and to snatch him away
before he volunteers the information； 〃He is not really my
father。〃
When David meets Achilles I know what will happen。 The little
boy will take the hero by the hand； call him father； and drag him
away to some Round Pond。
One day； when David was about five； I sent him the following
letter： 〃Dear David： If you really want to know how it began；
will you come and have a chop with me to…day at the club？〃
Mary； who； I have found out； opens all his letters； gave her
consent； and； I doubt not； instructed him to pay heed to what
happened so that he might repeat it to her； for despite her
curiosity she knows not how it began herself。 I chuckled；
guessing that she expected something romantic。
He came to me arrayed as for a mighty journey； and looking
unusually solemn； as little boys always do look when they are
wearing a great coat。 There was a shawl round his neck。 〃You
can take some of them off；〃 I said； 〃when we come to summer。〃
〃Shall we come to summer？〃 he asked； properly awed。
〃To many summers；〃 I replied； 〃for we are going away back； David；
to see your mother as she was in the days before there was you。〃
We hailed a hansom。 〃Drive back six years；〃 I said to the cabby；
〃and stop at the Junior Old Fogies' Club。〃
He was a stupid fellow； and I had to guide him with my umbrella。
The streets were not quite as they had been in the morning。 For
instance； the bookshop at the corner was now selling fish。 I
dropped David a hint of what was going on。
〃It doesn't make me littler； does it？〃 he asked anxiously； and
then； with a terrible misgiving： 〃It won't make me too little；
will it； father？〃 by which he meant that he hoped it would not do
for him altogether。 He slipped his hand nervously into mine； and
I put it in my pocket。
You can't think how little David looked as we entered the portals
of the club。
II
The Little Nursery Governess
As I enter the club smoking…room you are to conceive David
vanishing into nothingness； and that it is any day six years ago
at two in the afternoon。 I ring for coffee； cigarette； and
cherry brandy； and take my chair by the window； just as the
absurd little nursery governess comes tripping into the street。
I always feel that I have rung for her。
While I am lifting the coffee…pot cautiously lest the lid fall
into the cup； she is crossing to the post…office； as I select the
one suitable lump of sugar she is taking six last looks at the
letter； with the aid of William I light my cigarette； and now she
is re…reading the delicious address。 I lie back in my chair； and
by this time she has dropped the letter down the slit。 I toy
with my liqueur； and she is listening to hear whether the postal
authorities have come for her letter。 I scowl at a fellow…member
who has had the impudence to enter the smoking…room； and her two
little charges are pulling her away from the post…office。 When I
look out at the window again she is gone； but I shall ring for
her to…morrow at two sharp。
She must have passed the window many times before I noticed her。
I know not where she lives； though I suppose it to be hard by。
She is taking the little boy and girl； who bully her； to the St。
James's Park； as their hoops tell me； and she ought to look
crushed and faded。 No doubt her mistress overworks her。 It must
enrage the other servants to see her deporting herself as if she
were quite the lady。
I noticed that she had sometimes other letters to post； but that
the posting of the one only was a process。 They shot down the
slit； plebeians all； but it followed pompously like royalty。 I
have even seen her blow a kiss after it。
Then there was her ring； of which she was as conscious as if it
rather than she was what came gaily down the street。 She felt it
through her glove to make sure that it was still there。 She took
off the glove and raised the ring to her lips； though I doubt not
it was the cheapest trinket。 She viewed it from afar by
stretching out her hand； she stooped to see how it looked near
the ground； she considered its effect on the right of her and on
the left of her and through one eye at a time。 Even when you saw
that she had made up her mind to think hard of something else；
the little silly would take another look。
I give anyone three chances to guess why Mary was so happy。
No and no and no。 The reason was simply this； that a lout of a
young man loved her。 And so； instead of crying because she was
the merest nobody； she must； forsooth； sail jauntily down Pall
Mall； very trim as to her tackle and ticketed with the
insufferable air of an engaged woman。 At first her complacency
disturbed me； but gradually it became part of my life at two
o'clock with the coffee； the cigarette； and the liqueur。 Now
comes the tragedy。
Thursday is her great day。 She has from two to three every
Thursday for her very own； just think of it： this girl； who is
probably paid several pounds a year； gets a whole hour to herself
once a week。 And what does she with it？ Attend classes for
making her a more accomplished person？ Not she。 This is what
she does： sets sail for Pall Mall； wearing all her pretty things；
including the blue feathers； and with such a sparkle of
expectation on her face that I stir my coffee quite fiercely。 On
ordinary days she at least tries to look demure； but on a
Thursday she has had the assurance to use the glass door of the
club as a mirror in which to see how she likes her engaging
trifle of a figure to…day。
In the meantime a long…legged oaf is waiting for her outside the
post…office； where they meet every Thursday； a fellow who always
wears the same suit of clothes； but has a face that must ever
make him free of the company of gentlemen。 He is one of your
lean； clean Englishmen； who strip so well； and I fear me he is
handsome； I say fear； for your handsome men have always annoyed
me； and had I lived in the duelling days I swear I would have
called every one of them out。 He seems to be quite unaware that
he is a pretty fellow； but Lord； how obviously Mary knows it。 I
conclude that he belongs to the artistic classes； he is so easily
elated and depressed； and because he carries his left thumb
curiously； as if it were feeling for the hole of a palette； I
have entered his name among the painters。 I find pleasure in
deciding that they are shocking bad pictures； for obviously no
one buys them。 I feel sure Mary says they are splendid； she is
that sort of woman。 Hence the rapture with which he greets her。
Her first effect upon him is to make him shout with laughter。 He
laughs suddenly haw from an eager exulting face； then haw again；
and then； when you are thanking heaven that it is at last over；
comes a final haw； louder than the others。 I take them to be
roars of joy because Mary is his； and they have a ring of youth
about them that is hard to bear。 I could forgive him everything
save his youth； but it is so aggressive that I have sometimes to
order William testily to close the window。
How much more deceitful than her lover is the little nursery
governess。 The moment she comes into sight she looks at the
post… office and sees him。 Then she looks straight before her；
and now she is observed