按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
lower road; and contented yourself with obtaining the Bird。 May
I point out; by presenting you with this dedication; that in the
meantime I am become the parent of the Book? To you the shadow;
to me the substance。 Trusting that you will accept my little
offering in a Christian spirit; I am; dear madam;〃 etc。
It was heady work; for the saucy words showed their design
plainly through the varnish; and I was re…reading in an ecstasy;
when; without warning; the door burst open and a little boy
entered; dragging in a faltering lady。
〃Father;〃 said David; 〃this is mother。〃
Having thus briefly introduced us; he turned his attention to the
electric light; and switched it on and off so rapidly that; as
was very fitting; Mary and I may be said to have met for the
first time to the accompaniment of flashes of lightning。 I think
she was arrayed in little blue feathers; but if such a costume is
not seemly; I swear there were; at least; little blue feathers in
her too coquettish cap; and that she was carrying a muff to
match。 No part of a woman is more dangerous than her muff; and
as muffs are not worn in early autumn; even by invalids; I saw in
a twink; that she had put on all her pretty things to wheedle me。
I am also of opinion that she remembered she had worn blue in
the days when I watched her from the club…window。 Undoubtedly
Mary is an engaging little creature; though not my style。 She
was paler than is her wont; and had the touching look of one whom
it would be easy to break。 I daresay this was a trick。 Her
skirts made music in my room; but perhaps this was only because
no lady had ever rustled in it before。 It was disquieting to me
to reflect that despite her obvious uneasiness; she was a very
artful woman。
With the quickness of David at the switch; I slipped a blotting…
pad over the dedication; and then; 〃Pray be seated;〃 I said
coldly; but she remained standing; all in a twitter and very much
afraid of me; and I know that her hands were pressed together
within the muff。 Had there been any dignified means of escape; I
think we would both have taken it。
〃I should not have come;〃 she said nervously; and then seemed to
wait for some response; so I bowed。
〃I was terrified to come; indeed I was;〃 she assured me with
obvious sincerity。
〃But I have come;〃 she finished rather baldly。
〃It is an epitome; ma'am;〃 said I; seeing my chance; 〃of your
whole life;〃 and with that I put her into my elbow…chair。
She began to talk of my adventures with David in the Gardens; and
of some little things I have not mentioned here; that I may have
done for her when I was in a wayward mood; and her voice was as
soft as her muff。 She had also an affecting way of pronouncing
all her r's as w's; just as the fairies do。 〃And so;〃 she said;
〃as you would not come to me to be thanked; I have come to you to
thank you。〃 Whereupon she thanked me most abominably。 She also
slid one of her hands out of the muff; and though she was smiling
her eyes were wet。
〃Pooh; ma'am;〃 said I in desperation; but I did not take her
hand。
〃I am not very strong yet;〃 she said with low cunning。 She said
this to make me take her hand; so I took it; and perhaps I patted
it a little。 Then I walked brusquely to the window。 The truth
is; I begun to think uncomfortably of the dedication。
I went to the window because; undoubtedly; it would be easier to
address her severely from behind; and I wanted to say something
that would sting her。
〃When you have quite done; ma'am;〃 I said; after a long pause;
〃perhaps you will allow me to say a word。〃
I could see the back of her head only; but I knew; from David's
face; that she had given him a quick look which did not imply
that she was stung。 Indeed I felt now; as I had felt before;
that though she was agitated and in some fear of me; she was also
enjoying herself considerably。
In such circumstances I might as well have tried to sting a sand…
bank; so I said; rather off my watch; 〃If I have done all this
for you; why did I do it?〃
She made no answer in words; but seemed to grow taller in the
chair; so that I could see her shoulders; and I knew from this
that she was now holding herself conceitedly and trying to look
modest。 〃Not a bit of it; ma'am;〃 said I sharply; 〃that was not
the reason at all。〃
I was pleased to see her whisk round; rather indignant at last。
〃I never said it was;〃 she retorted with spirit; 〃I never thought
for a moment that it was。〃 She added; a trifle too late in the
story; 〃Besides; I don't know what you are talking of。〃
I think I must have smiled here; for she turned from me quickly;
and became quite little in the chair again。
〃David;〃 said I mercilessly; 〃did you ever see your mother
blush?〃
〃What is blush?〃
〃She goes a beautiful pink colour。〃
David; who had by this time broken my connection with the head
office; crossed to his mother expectantly。
〃I don't; David;〃 she cried。
〃I think;〃 said I; 〃she will do it now;〃 and with the instinct of
a gentleman I looked away。 Thus I cannot tell what happened; but
presently David exclaimed admiringly; 〃Oh; mother; do it again!〃
As she would not; he stood on the fender to see in the mantel…
glass whether he could do it himself; and then Mary turned a most
candid face on me; in which was maternity rather than reproach。
Perhaps no look given by woman to man affects him quite so much。
〃You see;〃 she said radiantly and with a gesture that disclosed
herself to me; 〃I can forgive even that。 You long ago earned the
right to hurt me if you want to。〃
It weaned me of all further desire to rail at Mary; and I felt an
uncommon drawing to her。
〃And if I did think that for a little while;〃 she went on; with
an unsteady smile。
〃Think what?〃 I asked; but without the necessary snap。
〃What we were talking of;〃 she replied wincing; but forgiving me
again。 〃If I once thought that; it was pretty to me while it
lasted and it lasted but a little time。 I have long been sure
that your kindness to me was due to some other reason。〃
〃Ma'am;〃 said I very honestly; 〃I know not what was the reason。
My concern for you was in the beginning a very fragile and even a
selfish thing; yet not altogether selfish; for I think that what
first stirred it was the joyous sway of the little nursery
governess as she walked down Pall Mall to meet her lover。 It
seemed such a mighty fine thing to you to be loved that I thought
you had better continue to be loved for a little longer。 And
perhaps having helped you once by dropping a letter I was charmed
by the ease with which you could be helped; for you must know
that I am one who has chosen the easy way for more than twenty
years。〃
She shook her head and smiled。 〃On my soul;〃 I assured her; 〃I
can think of no other reason。〃
〃A kind heart;〃 said she。
〃More likely a whim;〃 said I。
〃Or another woman;〃 said she。
I was very much taken aback。
〃More than twenty years ago;〃 she said with a soft huskiness in
her voice; and a tremor and a sweetness; as if she did not know
that in twenty years all love stories are grown mouldy。
On my honour as a soldier this explanation of my early solicitude
for Mary was one that had never struck me; but the more I
pondered it now。 I raised her hand and touched it with my lips;
as we whimsical old fellows do when some gracious girl makes us
to hear the key in the lock of long ago。 〃Why; ma'am;〃 I said;
〃it is a pretty notion; and there may be something in it。 Let us
leave it at that。〃
But there was still that accursed dedication; lying; you
remember; beneath the blotting…pad。 I had no longer any desire
to crush her with it。 I wished that she had succeeded in writing
the book on which her longings had been so set。
〃If only you had been less ambitious;〃 I said; much troubled that
she should be disappointed in her heart's desire。
〃I wanted all the dear delicious things;〃 she admitted
contritely。
〃It was unreasonable;〃 I said eagerly; appealing to her
intellect。 〃Especially this last thing。〃
〃Yes;〃 she agreed frankly; 〃I know。〃 And then to my amazement
she added triumphantly; 〃But I got it。〃
I suppose my look admonished her; for she continued
apologetically but still as if she really thought hers had been a
romantic career; 〃I know I have not deserved it; but I got it。〃
〃Oh; ma'am;〃 I cried reproachfully; 〃reflect。 You have not got
the great thing。〃 I saw her counting the great things in her
mind; her wondrous husband and his obscure success; David;
Barbara; and the other trifling contents of her jewel…box。
〃I think I have;〃 said she。
〃Come; madam;〃 I cried a little nettled; 〃you know that there is
lacking the one thing you craved for most of all。〃
Will you believe me that I had to tell her wha