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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
MUCH ADO ABOUT
NOTHING
William Shakespeare
1599
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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
Dramatis Personae
Don Pedro； Prince of Arragon。 Don John； his bastard brother。 Claudio；
a young lord of Florence。 Benedick； a Young lord of Padua。 Leonato；
Governor of Messina。 Antonio； an old man； his brother。 Balthasar；
attendant on Don Pedro。 Borachio； follower of Don John。 Conrade；
follower of Don John。 Friar Francis。 Dogberry； a Constable。 Verges； a
Headborough。 A Sexton。 A Boy。 Hero； daughter to Leonato。 Beatrice；
niece to Leonato。 Margaret； waiting gentlewoman attending on Hero。
Ursula； waiting gentlewoman attending on Hero。 Messengers； Watch；
Attendants； etc。
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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
ACT I。
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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
SCENE I。
An orchard before Leonato's house。
＇Enter Leonato （Governor of Messina）； Hero （his Daughter）； and
Beatrice （his Niece）； with a Messenger。＇
Leon。 I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night
to Messina。
Mess。 He is very near by this。 He was not three leagues off when I left
him。
Leon。 How many gentlemen have you lost in this action？
Mess。 But few of any sort； and none of name。
Leon。 A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full
numbers。 I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on a
young Florentine called Claudio。
Mess。 Much deserv'd on his part； and equally rememb'red by Don
Pedro。 He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age； doing in the
figure of a lamb the feats of a lion。 He hath indeed better bett'red
expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how。
Leon。 He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it。
Mess。 I have already delivered him letters； and there appears much joy
in him； even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough
without a badge of bitterness。
Leon。 Did he break out into tears？
Mess。 In great measure。
Leon。 A kind overflow of kindness。 There are no faces truer than those
that are so wash'd。 How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at
weeping！
Beat。 I pray you； is Signior Mountanto return'd from the wars or no？
Mess。 I know none of that name； lady。 There was none such in the
army of any sort。
Leon。 What is he that you ask for； niece？
Hero。 My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua。
Mess。 O； he's return'd； and as pleasant as ever he was。
Beat。 He set up his bills here in Messina and challeng'd Cupid at the
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flight； and my uncle's fool； reading the challenge； subscrib'd for Cupid and
challeng'd him at the burbolt。 I pray you； how many hath he kill'd and
eaten in these wars？ But how many hath he kill'd？ For indeed I promised
to eat all of his killing。
Leon。 Faith； niece； you tax Signior Benedick too much； but he'll be
meet with you； I doubt it not。
Mess。 He hath done good service； lady； in these wars。
Beat。 You had musty victual； and he hath holp to eat it。 He is a very
valiant trencherman； he hath an excellent stomach。
Mess。 And a good soldier too； lady。
Beat。 And a good soldier to a lady； but what is he to a lord？
Mess。 A lord to a lord； a man to a man； stuff'd with all honourable
virtues。
Beat。 It is so indeed。 He is no less than a stuff'd man； but for the
stuffingwell； we are all mortal。
Leon。 You must not； sir； mistake my niece。 There is a kind of merry
war betwixt Signior Benedick and her。 They never meet but there's a
skirmish of wit between them。
Beat。 Alas； he gets nothing by that！ In our last conflict four of his five
wits went halting off； and now is the whole man govern'd with one； so that
if he have wit enough to keep himself warm； let him bear it for a
difference between himself and his horse； for it is all the wealth that he
hath left to be known a reasonable creature。 Who is his companion now？
He hath every month a new sworn brother。
Mess。 Is't possible？
Beat。 Very easily possible。 He wears his faith but as the fashion of his
hat； it ever changes with the next block。
Mess。 I see； lady； the gentleman is not in your books。
Beat。 No。 An he were； I would burn my study。 But I pray you； who is
his companion？ Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage
with him to the devil？
Mess。 He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio。
Beat。 O Lord； he will hang upon him like a disease！ He is sooner
caught than the pestilence； and the taker runs presently mad。 God help the
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noble Claudio！ If he have caught the Benedick； it will cost him a thousand
pound ere 'a be cured。
Mess。 I will hold friends with you； lady。
Beat。 Do； good friend。
Leon。 You will never run mad； niece。
Beat。 No； not till a hot January。
Mess。 Don Pedro is approach'd。
＇Enter Don Pedro； Claudio； Benedick； Balthasar； and John the
Bastard。＇
Pedro。 Good Signior Leonato； are you come to meet your trouble？
The fashion of the world is to avoid cost； and you encounter it。
Leon。 Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your Grace；
for trouble being gone； comfort should remain； but when you depart from
me； sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave。
Pedro。 You embrace your charge too willingly。 I think this is your
daughter。
Leon。 Her mother hath many times told me so。
Bene。 Were you in doubt； sir； that you ask'd her？
Leon。 Signior Benedick； no； for then were you a child。
Pedro。 You have it full； Benedick。 We may guess by this what you are；
being a man。 Truly the lady fathers herself。 Be happy； lady； for you are
like an honourable father。
Bene。 If Signior Leonato be her father； she would not have his head on
her shoulders for all Messina； as like him as she is。
Beat。 I wonder that you will still be talking； Signior Benedick。 Nobody
marks you。
Bene。 What； my dear Lady Disdain！ are you yet living？
Beat。 Is it possible Disdain should die while she hath such meet food
to feed it as Signior Benedick？ Courtesy itself must convert to disdain if
you come in her presence。
Bene。 Then is courtesy a turncoat。 But it is certain I am loved of all
ladies； only you excepted； and I would I could find in my heart that I had
not a hard heart； for truly I love none。
Beat。 A dear happiness to women！ They would else have been troubled
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with a pernicious suitor。 I thank God and my cold blood； I am of your
humour for that。 I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear
he loves me。
Bene。 God keep your ladyship still in that mind！ So some gentleman or
other shall scape a predestinate scratch'd face。
Beat。 Scratching could not make it worse an 'twere such a face as
yours were。
Bene。 Well； you are a rare parrot…teacher。
Beat。 A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours。
Bene。 I would my horse had the speed of your tongue； and so good a
continuer。 But keep your way； a God's name！ I have done。
Beat。 You always end with a jade's trick。 I know you of old。
Pedro。 That is the sum of all； Leonato。 Signior Claudio and Signior
Benedick； my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all。 I tell him we shall
stay here at the least a month； and he heartly prays some occasion may
detain us longer。 I dare swear h