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of making my life a burden； and on the heels of both； a widow of
thirty…five in full chase！ Small wonder I thought it more
dignified to retire than to compete； and so I did。
I need not； however； have cut the threads that bound me to
Oxenbridge with such particularly sharp scissors； nor given them
such a vicious snap； for； so far as I can observe； the little world
of which I imagined myself the sun continues to revolve； and；
probably； about some other centre。 I can well imagine who has
taken up that delightful but somewhat exposed and responsible
positionit would be just like her！
I am perfectly happy where I am； it is not that； but it seems so
strange that they can be perfectly happy without me； after all that
theyafter all that was said on the subject not many days ago。
Nothing turns out as one expects。 There have been no hot pursuits；
no rewards offered； no bills posted； no printed placards issued
describing the beauty and charms of a young person who supposed
herself the cynosure of every eye。 Heigh…ho！ What does it matter；
after all？ One can always be a Goose Girl！
* * *
I wonder if the hen mother is quite； quite satisfied with her
ducklings！ Do you suppose the fact of hatching and brooding them
breaks down all the sense of difference？ Does she not sometimes
reflect that if her children were the ordinary sort； and not these
changelings； she would be enjoying certain pretty little attentions
dear to a mother's heart？ The chicks would be pecking the food off
her broad beak with their tiny ones； and jumping on her back to
slide down her glossy feathers。 They would be far nicer to cuddle；
too； so small and graceful and light； the changelings are a trifle
solid and brawny。 And personally； just as a matter of taste； would
she not prefer wee； round； glancing heads； and pointed beaks；
peeping from under her wings； to these teaspoon…shaped things
larger than her own？ I wonder！
We are training fourteen large young chickens to sit on the perches
in their new house； instead of huddling together on the floor as
has been their habit； because we discover rat…holes under the wire
flooring occasionally； and fear that toes may be bitten。 At nine
o'clock Phoebe and I lift the chickens one by one； and； as it were；
glue them to their perches； squawking。 Three nights have we gone
patiently through with this performance； but they have not learned
the lesson。 The ducks and geese are； however； greatly improved by
the application of advanced educational methods； and the regime of
perfect order and system instituted by Me begins to show results。
There is no more violent splashing and pebbling； racing； chasing；
separating。 The pole； indeed； still has to be produced； but at the
first majestic wave of my hand they scuttle toward the shore。 The
geese turn to the right； cross the rickyard； and go to their pen；
the May ducks turn to the left for their coops； the June ducks
follow the hens to the top meadow； and even the idiot gosling has
an inspiration now and then and stumbles on his own habitation。
Mrs。 Heaven has no reverence for the principles of Comenius；
Pestalozzi； or Herbert Spencer as applied to poultry； and when the
ducks and geese came out of the pond badly the other night and went
waddling and tumbling and hissing all over creation； did not
approve of my sending them back into the pond to start afresh。
〃I consider it a great waste of time； of good time； miss；〃 she
said； 〃and； after all； do you consider that educated poultry will
be any better eating； or that it will lay more than one egg a day；
miss？〃
I have given the matter some attention； and I fear Mrs。 Heaven is
right。 A duck； a goose； or a hen in which I have developed a
larger brain； implanted a sense of duty； or instilled an idea of
self…government； is likely； on the whole； to be leaner； not fatter。
There is nothing like obeying the voice of conscience for taking
the flesh off one's bones； and； speaking of conscience； Phoebe；
whose metaphysics are of the farm farmy； says that hers 〃felt like
a hunlaid hegg for dyes〃 after she had jilted the postman。
As to the eggs； I am sure the birds will go on laying one a day for
'tis their nature to。 Whether the product of the intelligent；
conscious； logical fowl； will be as rich in quality as that of the
uneducated and barbaric bird； I cannot say； but it ought at least
to be equal to the Denmark egg eaten now by all Londoners； and if；
perchance； left uneaten； it is certain to be a very superior wife
and mother。
While we are discussing the subject of educating poultry； I confess
that the case of Cannibal Ann gives me much anxiety。 Twice in her
short career has she been under suspicion of eating her own eggs；
but Phoebe has never succeeded in catching her in flagrante
delicto。 That eminent detective service was reserved for me； and I
have been haunted by the picture ever since。 It is an awful sight
to witness a hen gulp her own newly…laid fresh egg； yolk； white；
shell； and all； to realise that you have fed； sheltered； chased；
and occasionally run in； a being possessed of no moral sense； a
being likely to set a bad example； inculcate vicious habits among
her innocent sisters； and lower the standard of an entire poultry…
yard。 The Young Poultry Keeper's Friend gives us no advice on this
topic； and we do not know whether to treat Cannibal Ann as the
victim of a disease； or as a confirmed criminal； whether to
administer remedies or cut her off in the flower of her youth。
We have had a sad scene to…night。 A chick has been ailing all day；
and when we shut up the brood we found him dead in a corner。
Phoebe put him on the ground while she busied herself about the
coop。 The other chicks came out and walked about the dead one
again and again； eyeing him curiously。
〃Poor little chap！〃 said Phoebe。 〃E's never 'ad a mother！ 'E was
an incubytor chicken； and wherever I took 'im 'e was picked at。
There was somethink wrong with 'im； 'e never was a fyvorite！〃
I put the fluffy body into a hole in the turf； and strewed a
handful of grass over him。 〃Sad little epitaph！〃 I thought。 〃He
never was a fyvorite！〃
CHAPTER VIII
July 13th。
I like to watch the Belgian hares eating their trifolium or pea…
pods or grass； graceful； gentle things they are； crowding about Mr。
Heaven； and standing prettily； not greedily； on their hind legs； to
reach for the clover； their delicate nostrils and whiskers all a…
quiver with excitement。
As I look out of my window in the dusk I can see one of the mothers
galloping across the enclosure； the soft white lining of her tail
acting as a beacon…light to the eight infant hares following her； a
quaint procession of eight white spots in it glancing line。 In the
darkest night those baby creatures could follow their mother
through grass or hedge or thicket； and she would need no warning
note to show them where to flee in case of danger。 〃All you have
to do is to follow the white night…light that I keep in the lining
of my tail；〃 she says； when she is giving her first maternal
lectures； and it seems a beneficent provision of Nature。 To be
sure； Mr。 Heaven took his gun and went out to shoot wild rabbits
to…day； and I noted that he marked them by those same self…
betraying tails； as they scuttled toward their holes or leaped
toward the protecting cover of the hedge； so it does not appear
whether Nature is on the side of the farmer or the rabbit 。 。 。
There is as much comedy and as much tragedy in poultry life as
anywhere； and already I see rifts within lutes。 We have in a cage
a French gentleman partridge married to a Hungarian lady of
defective sight。 He paces back and forth in the pen restlessly；
anything but content with the domestic fireside。 One can see
plainly that he is devoted to the Boulevards； and that if left to
his own inclinations he would never have chosen any spouse but a
thorough Parisienne。
The Hungarian lady is blind of one eye； from some stray shot； I
suppose。 She is melancholy at all times； and occasionally goes so
far as to beat her head against the wire netting。 If liberated；
Mr。 Heaven says that her blindness would only expose her to death
at the hands of the first sportsman； and it always seems to me as
if she knows this； and is ever trying to decide whether a loveless
marriage is any better than the tomb。
Then； again； the great； grey gander is； for some mysterious reason；
out of favour with the entire family。 He is a noble and amiable
bird； by far the best all…round character in the flock； for dignity
of mien and large…minded common…sense。 What is the treatment
vouchsafed to this blameless husband and father？ One that puts
anybody out of sorts with virtue and its scant rewards。 To begin
with； the others will not allow him to go into the pond。 There is
an organised cabal against it； and he sits solitary on the bank；
calm and resigned； but； naturally； a trifle hurt。 His favourite
retreat is a tiny sort of island on the edge of the pool under the
alders； where with his bent head； and red…rimmed philosophic eyes
he regards his own breast and dreams of happier days。 When the
others walk into the country twenty