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the uncommercial traveller-第40章

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dead; she divined the truth; and determined to be revenged。  So;

she went up to Captain Murderer's house; and knocked at the knocker

and pulled at the bell; and when the Captain came to the door;

said:  'Dear Captain Murderer; marry me next; for I always loved

you and was jealous of my sister。'  The Captain took it as a

compliment; and made a polite answer; and the marriage was quickly

arranged。  On the night before it; the bride again climbed to his

window; and again saw him having his teeth filed sharp。  At this

sight she laughed such a terrible laugh at the chink in the

shutter; that the Captain's blood curdled; and he said:  'I hope

nothing has disagreed with me!'  At that; she laughed again; a

still more terrible laugh; and the shutter was opened and search

made; but she was nimbly gone; and there was no one。  Next day they

went to church in a coach and twelve; and were married。  And that

day month; she rolled the pie…crust out; and Captain Murderer cut

her head off; and chopped her in pieces; and peppered her; and

salted her; and put her in the pie; and sent it to the baker's; and

ate it all; and picked the bones。



But before she began to roll out the paste she had taken a deadly

poison of a most awful character; distilled from toads' eyes and

spiders' knees; and Captain Murderer had hardly picked her last

bone; when he began to swell; and to turn blue; and to be all over

spots; and to scream。  And he went on swelling and turning bluer;

and being more all over spots and screaming; until he reached from

floor to ceiling and from wall to wall; and then; at one o'clock in

the morning; he blew up with a loud explosion。  At the sound of it;

all the milk…white horses in the stables broke their halters and

went mad; and then they galloped over everybody in Captain

Murderer's house (beginning with the family blacksmith who had

filed his teeth) until the whole were dead; and then they galloped

away。



Hundreds of times did I hear this legend of Captain Murderer; in my

early youth; and added hundreds of times was there a mental

compulsion upon me in bed; to peep in at his window as the dark

twin peeped; and to revisit his horrible house; and look at him in

his blue and spotty and screaming stage; as he reached from floor

to ceiling and from wall to wall。  The young woman who brought me

acquainted with Captain Murderer had a fiendish enjoyment of my

terrors; and used to begin; I remember … as a sort of introductory

overture … by clawing the air with both hands; and uttering a long

low hollow groan。  So acutely did I suffer from this ceremony in

combination with this infernal Captain; that I sometimes used to

plead I thought I was hardly strong enough and old enough to hear

the story again just yet。  But; she never spared me one word of it;

and indeed commanded the awful chalice to my lips as the only

preservative known to science against 'The Black Cat' … a weird and

glaring…eyed supernatural Tom; who was reputed to prowl about the

world by night; sucking the breath of infancy; and who was endowed

with a special thirst (as I was given to understand) for mine。



This female bard … may she have been repaid my debt of obligation

to her in the matter of nightmares and perspirations! … reappears

in my memory as the daughter of a shipwright。  Her name was Mercy;

though she had none on me。  There was something of a shipbuilding

flavour in the following story。  As it always recurs to me in a

vague association with calomel pills; I believe it to have been

reserved for dull nights when I was low with medicine。



There was once a shipwright; and he wrought in a Government Yard;

and his name was Chips。  And his father's name before him was

Chips; and HIS father's name before HIM was Chips; and they were

all Chipses。  And Chips the father had sold himself to the Devil

for an iron pot and a bushel of tenpenny nails and half a ton of

copper and a rat that could speak; and Chips the grandfather had

sold himself to the Devil for an iron pot and a bushel of tenpenny

nails and half a ton of copper and a rat that could speak; and

Chips the great…grandfather had disposed of himself in the same

direction on the same terms; and the bargain had run in the family

for a long; long time。  So; one day; when young Chips was at work

in the Dock Slip all alone; down in the dark hold of an old

Seventy…four that was haled up for repairs; the Devil presented

himself; and remarked:





'A Lemon has pips;

And a Yard has ships;

And I'll have Chips!'





(I don't know why; but this fact of the Devil's expressing himself

in rhyme was peculiarly trying to me。)  Chips looked up when he

heard the words; and there he saw the Devil with saucer eyes that

squinted on a terrible great scale; and that struck out sparks of

blue fire continually。  And whenever he winked his eyes; showers of

blue sparks came out; and his eyelashes made a clattering like

flints and steels striking lights。  And hanging over one of his

arms by the handle was an iron pot; and under that arm was a bushel

of tenpenny nails; and under his other arm was half a ton of

copper; and sitting on one of his shoulders was a rat that could

speak。  So; the Devil said again:





'A Lemon has pips;

And a Yard has ships;

And I'll have Chips!'





(The invariable effect of this alarming tautology on the part of

the Evil Spirit was to deprive me of my senses for some moments。)

So; Chips answered never a word; but went on with his work。  'What

are you doing; Chips?' said the rat that could speak。  'I am

putting in new planks where you and your gang have eaten old away;'

said Chips。  'But we'll eat them too;' said the rat that could

speak; 'and we'll let in the water and drown the crew; and we'll

eat them too。'  Chips; being only a shipwright; and not a Man…of…

war's man; said; 'You are welcome to it。'  But he couldn't keep his

eyes off the half a ton of copper or the bushel of tenpenny nails;

for nails and copper are a shipwright's sweethearts; and

shipwrights will run away with them whenever they can。  So; the

Devil said; 'I see what you are looking at; Chips。  You had better

strike the bargain。  You know the terms。  Your father before you

was well acquainted with them; and so were your grandfather and

great…grandfather before him。'  Says Chips; 'I like the copper; and

I like the nails; and I don't mind the pot; but I don't like the

rat。'  Says the Devil; fiercely; 'You can't have the metal without

him … and HE'S a curiosity。  I'm going。'  Chips; afraid of losing

the half a ton of copper and the bushel of nails; then said; 'Give

us hold!'  So; he got the copper and the nails and the pot and the

rat that could speak; and the Devil vanished。  Chips sold the

copper; and he sold the nails; and he would have sold the pot; but

whenever he offered it for sale; the rat was in it; and the dealers

dropped it; and would have nothing to say to the bargain。  So;

Chips resolved to kill the rat; and; being at work in the Yard one

day with a great kettle of hot pitch on one side of him and the

iron pot with the rat in it on the other; he turned the scalding

pitch into the pot; and filled it full。  Then; he kept his eye upon

it till it cooled and hardened; and then he let it stand for twenty

days; and then he heated the pitch again and turned it back into

the kettle; and then he sank the pot in water for twenty days more;

and then he got the smelters to put it in the furnace for twenty

days more; and then they gave it him out; red hot; and looking like

red…hot glass instead of iron…yet there was the rat in it; just the

same as ever!  And the moment it caught his eye; it said with a

jeer:





'A Lemon has pips;

And a Yard has ships;

And I'll have Chips!'





(For this Refrain I had waited since its last appearance; with

inexpressible horror; which now culminated。)  Chips now felt

certain in his own mind that the rat would stick to him; the rat;

answering his thought; said; 'I will … like pitch!'



Now; as the rat leaped out of the pot when it had spoken; and made

off; Chips began to hope that it wouldn't keep its word。  But; a

terrible thing happened next day。  For; when dinner…time came; and

the Dock…bell rang to strike work; he put his rule into the long

pocket at the side of his trousers; and there he found a rat … not

that rat; but another rat。  And in his hat; he found another; and

in his pocket…handkerchief; another; and in the sleeves of his

coat; when he pulled it on to go to dinner; two more。  And from

that time he found himself so frightfully intimate with all the

rats in the Yard; that they climbed up his legs when he was at

work; and sat on his tools while he used them。  And they could all

speak to one another; and he understood what they said。  And they

got into his lodging; and into his bed; and into his teapot; and

into his beer; and into his boots。  And he was going to be ma
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