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may have been in hiding under straw when I bought my first horse
（in the desirable stable…yard attached to the first…class Family
Mansion）； and when the vendor remarked to me； in an original
manner； on bringing him for approval； taking his cloth off and
smacking him； 'There； Sir！ THERE'S a Orse！' And when I said
gallantly； 'How much do you want for him？' and when the vendor
said； 'No more than sixty guineas； from you；' and when I said
smartly； 'Why not more than sixty from ME？' And when he said
crushingly； 'Because upon my soul and body he'd be considered cheap
at seventy； by one who understood the subject … but you don't。' … I
say； the Beadle may have been in hiding under straw； when this
disgrace befell me； or he may have noted that I was too raw and
young an Atlas to carry the first…class Family Mansion in a knowing
manner。 Be this as it may； the Beadle did what Melancholy did to
the youth in Gray's Elegy … he marked me for his own。 And the way
in which the Beadle did it； was this： he summoned me as a Juryman
on his Coroner's Inquests。
In my first feverish alarm I repaired 'for safety and for succour'
… like those sagacious Northern shepherds who； having had no
previous reason whatever to believe in young Norval； very prudently
did not originate the hazardous idea of believing in him … to a
deep householder。 This profound man informed me that the Beadle
counted on my buying him off； on my bribing him not to summon me；
and that if I would attend an Inquest with a cheerful countenance；
and profess alacrity in that branch of my country's service； the
Beadle would be disheartened； and would give up the game。
I roused my energies； and the next time the wily Beadle summoned
me； I went。 The Beadle was the blankest Beadle I have ever looked
on when I answered to my name； and his discomfiture gave me courage
to go through with it。
We were impanelled to inquire concerning the death of a very little
mite of a child。 It was the old miserable story。 Whether the
mother had committed the minor offence of concealing the birth； or
whether she had committed the major offence of killing the child；
was the question on which we were wanted。 We must commit her on
one of the two issues。
The Inquest came off in the parish workhouse； and I have yet a
lively impression that I was unanimously received by my brother
Jurymen as a brother of the utmost conceivable insignificance。
Also； that before we began； a broker who had lately cheated me
fearfully in the matter of a pair of card…tables； was for the
utmost rigour of the law。 I remember that we sat in a sort of
board…room； on such very large square horse…hair chairs that I
wondered what race of Patagonians they were made for； and further；
that an undertaker gave me his card when we were in the full moral
freshness of having just been sworn； as 'an inhabitant that was
newly come into the parish； and was likely to have a young family。'
The case was then stated to us by the Coroner； and then we went
down…stairs … led by the plotting Beadle … to view the body。 From
that day to this； the poor little figure； on which that sounding
legal appellation was bestowed； has lain in the same place and with
the same surroundings； to my thinking。 In a kind of crypt devoted
to the warehousing of the parochial coffins； and in the midst of a
perfect Panorama of coffins of all sizes； it was stretched on a
box； the mother had put it in her box … this box … almost as soon
as it was born； and it had been presently found there。 It had been
opened； and neatly sewn up； and regarded from that point of view；
it looked like a stuffed creature。 It rested on a clean white
cloth； with a surgical instrument or so at hand； and regarded from
that point of view； it looked as if the cloth were 'laid；' and the
Giant were coming to dinner。 There was nothing repellent about the
poor piece of innocence； and it demanded a mere form of looking at。
So； we looked at an old pauper who was going about among the
coffins with a foot rule； as if he were a case of Self…Measurement；
and we looked at one another； and we said the place was well
whitewashed anyhow； and then our conversational powers as a British
Jury flagged； and the foreman said； 'All right； gentlemen？ Back
again； Mr。 Beadle！'
The miserable young creature who had given birth to this child
within a very few days； and who had cleaned the cold wet door…steps
immediately afterwards； was brought before us when we resumed our
horse…hair chairs； and was present during the proceedings。 She had
a horse…hair chair herself； being very weak and ill； and I remember
how she turned to the unsympathetic nurse who attended her； and who
might have been the figure…head of a pauper…ship； and how she hid
her face and sobs and tears upon that wooden shoulder。 I remember；
too； how hard her mistress was upon her （she was a servant…of…all…
work）； and with what a cruel pertinacity that piece of Virtue spun
her thread of evidence double； by intertwisting it with the
sternest thread of construction。 Smitten hard by the terrible low
wail from the utterly friendless orphan girl； which never ceased
during the whole inquiry； I took heart to ask this witness a
question or two； which hopefully admitted of an answer that might
give a favourable turn to the case。 She made the turn as little
favourable as it could be； but it did some good； and the Coroner；
who was nobly patient and humane （he was the late Mr。 Wakley）； cast
a look of strong encouragement in my direction。 Then； we had the
doctor who had made the examination； and the usual tests as to
whether the child was born alive； but he was a timid； muddle…headed
doctor； and got confused and contradictory； and wouldn't say this；
and couldn't answer for that； and the immaculate broker was too
much for him； and our side slid back again。 However； I tried
again； and the Coroner backed me again； for which I ever afterwards
felt grateful to him as I do now to his memory； and we got another
favourable turn； out of some other witness； some member of the
family with a strong prepossession against the sinner； and I think
we had the doctor back again； and I know that the Coroner summed up
for our side； and that I and my British brothers turned round to
discuss our verdict； and get ourselves into great difficulties with
our large chairs and the broker。 At that stage of the case I tried
hard again； being convinced that I had cause for it； and at last we
found for the minor offence of only concealing the birth； and the
poor desolate creature； who had been taken out during our
deliberation； being brought in again to be told of the verdict；
then dropped upon her knees before us； with protestations that we
were right … protestations among the most affecting that I have
ever heard in my life … and was carried away insensible。
（In private conversation after this was all over； the Coroner
showed me his reasons as a trained surgeon； for perceiving it to be
impossible that the child could； under the most favourable
circumstances； have drawn many breaths； in the very doubtful case
of its having ever breathed at all； this； owing to the discovery of
some foreign matter in the windpipe； quite irreconcilable with many
moments of life。）
When the agonised girl had made those final protestations； I had
seen her face； and it was in unison with her distracted heartbroken
voice； and it was very moving。 It certainly did not impress me by
any beauty that it had； and if I ever see it again in another world
I shall only know it by the help of some new sense or intelligence。
But it came to me in my sleep that night； and I selfishly dismissed
it in the most efficient way I could think of。 I caused some extra
care to be taken of her in the prison； and counsel to be retained
for her defence when she was tried at the Old Bailey； and her
sentence was lenient； and her history and conduct proved that it
was right。 In doing the little I did for her； I remember to have
had the kind help of some gentle…hearted functionary to whom I
addressed myself … but what functionary I have long forgotten … who
I suppose was officially present at the Inquest。
I regard this as a very notable uncommercial experience； because
this good came of a Beadle。 And to the best of my knowledge；
information； and belief； it is the only good that ever did come of
a Beadle since the first Beadle put on his cocked…hat。
CHAPTER XX … BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS
It came into my mind that I would recall in these notes a few of
the many hostelries I have rested at in the course of my journeys；
and； indeed； I had taken up my pen for the purpose； when I was
baffled by an accidental circumstance。 It was the having to leave
off； to wish the owner of a certain bright face that looked in at
my door； 'many happy returns of the day。' Thereupon a new thought
came into my mind； driving