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main…topmast truck especially； could dive as deep as he could go
high。
The next adventure that befell me in my visit to the Short…Timers；
was the sudden apparition of a military band。 I had been
inspecting the hammocks of the crew of the good ship； when I saw
with astonishment that several musical instruments； brazen and of
great size； appeared to have suddenly developed two legs each； and
to be trotting about a yard。 And my astonishment was heightened
when I observed a large drum； that had previously been leaning
helpless against a wall； taking up a stout position on four legs。
Approaching this drum and looking over it； I found two boys behind
it （it was too much for one）； and then I found that each of the
brazen instruments had brought out a boy； and was going to
discourse sweet sounds。 The boys … not omitting the fifer； now
playing a new instrument … were dressed in neat uniform； and stood
up in a circle at their music…stands； like any other Military Band。
They played a march or two； and then we had Cheer boys； Cheer； and
then we had Yankee Doodle； and we finished； as in loyal duty bound；
with God save the Queen。 The band's proficiency was perfectly
wonderful； and it was not at all wonderful that the whole body
corporate of Short…Timers listened with faces of the liveliest
interest and pleasure。
What happened next among the Short…Timers？ As if the band had
blown me into a great class…room out of their brazen tubes； IN a
great class…room I found myself now； with the whole choral force of
Short…Timers singing the praises of a summer's day to the
harmonium； and my small but highly respected friend the fifer
blazing away vocally； as if he had been saving up his wind for the
last twelvemonth； also the whole crew of the good ship Nameless
swarming up and down the scale as if they had never swarmed up and
down the rigging。 This done； we threw our whole power into God
bless the Prince of Wales； and blessed his Royal Highness to such
an extent that； for my own Uncommercial part； I gasped again when
it was over。 The moment this was done； we formed； with surpassing
freshness； into hollow squares； and fell to work at oral lessons as
if we never did； and had never thought of doing； anything else。
Let a veil be drawn over the self…committals into which the
Uncommercial Traveller would have been betrayed but for a discreet
reticence； coupled with an air of absolute wisdom on the part of
that artful personage。 Take the square of five； multiply it by
fifteen； divide it by three； deduct eight from it； add four dozen
to it； give me the result in pence； and tell me how many eggs I
could get for it at three farthings apiece。 The problem is hardly
stated； when a dozen small boys pour out answers。 Some wide； some
very nearly right； some worked as far as they go with such
accuracy； as at once to show what link of the chain has been
dropped in the hurry。 For the moment； none are quite right； but
behold a labouring spirit beating the buttons on its corporeal
waistcoat； in a process of internal calculation； and knitting an
accidental bump on its corporeal forehead in a concentration of
mental arithmetic！ It is my honourable friend （if he will allow me
to call him so） the fifer。 With right arm eagerly extended in
token of being inspired with an answer； and with right leg
foremost； the fifer solves the mystery： then recalls both arm and
leg； and with bump in ambush awaits the next poser。 Take the
square of three； multiply it by seven； divide it by four； add fifty
to it； take thirteen from it； multiply it by two； double it； give
me the result in pence； and say how many halfpence。 Wise as the
serpent is the four feet of performer on the nearest approach to
that instrument； whose right arm instantly appears； and quenches
this arithmetical fire。 Tell me something about Great Britain；
tell me something about its principal productions； tell me
something about its ports； tell me something about its seas and
rivers； tell me something about coal； iron； cotton； timber； tin；
and turpentine。 The hollow square bristles with extended right
arms； but ever faithful to fact is the fifer； ever wise as the
serpent is the performer on that instrument； ever prominently
buoyant and brilliant are all members of the band。 I observe the
player of the cymbals to dash at a sounding answer now and then
rather than not cut in at all； but I take that to be in the way of
his instrument。 All these questions； and many such； are put on the
spur of the moment； and by one who has never examined these boys。
The Uncommercial； invited to add another； falteringly demands how
many birthdays a man born on the twenty…ninth of February will have
had on completing his fiftieth year？ A general perception of trap
and pitfall instantly arises； and the fifer is seen to retire
behind the corduroys of his next neighbours； as perceiving special
necessity for collecting himself and communing with his mind。
Meanwhile； the wisdom of the serpent suggests that the man will
have had only one birthday in all that time； for how can any man
have more than one； seeing that he is born once and dies once？ The
blushing Uncommercial stands corrected； and amends the formula。
Pondering ensues； two or three wrong answers are offered； and
Cymbals strikes up 'Six！' but doesn't know why。 Then modestly
emerging from his Academic Grove of corduroys appears the fifer；
right arm extended； right leg foremost； bump irradiated。 'Twelve；
and two over！'
The feminine Short…Timers passed a similar examination； and very
creditably too。 Would have done better perhaps； with a little more
geniality on the part of their pupil…teacher； for a cold eye； my
young friend； and a hard； abrupt manner； are not by any means the
powerful engines that your innocence supposes them to be。 Both
girls and boys wrote excellently； from copy and dictation； both
could cook； both could mend their own clothes； both could clean up
everything about them in an orderly and skilful way； the girls
having womanly household knowledge superadded。 Order and method
began in the songs of the Infant School which I visited likewise；
and they were even in their dwarf degree to be found in the
Nursery； where the Uncommercial walking…stick was carried off with
acclamations； and where 'the Doctor' … a medical gentleman of two；
who took his degree on the night when he was found at an
apothecary's door … did the honours of the establishment with great
urbanity and gaiety。
These have long been excellent schools； long before the days of the
Short…Time。 I first saw them； twelve or fifteen years ago。 But
since the introduction of the Short…Time system it has been proved
here that eighteen hours a week of book…learning are more
profitable than thirty…six； and that the pupils are far quicker and
brighter than of yore。 The good influences of music on the whole
body of children have likewise been surprisingly proved。 Obviously
another of the immense advantages of the Short…Time system to the
cause of good education is the great diminution of its cost； and of
the period of time over which it extends。 The last is a most
important consideration； as poor parents are always impatient to
profit by their children's labour。
It will be objected： Firstly； that this is all very well； but
special local advantages and special selection of children must be
necessary to such success。 Secondly； that this is all very well；
but must be very expensive。 Thirdly； that this is all very well；
but we have no proof of the results； sir； no proof。
On the first head of local advantages and special selection。 Would
Limehouse Hole be picked out for the site of a Children's Paradise？
Or would the legitimate and illegitimate pauper children of the
long…shore population of such a riverside district； be regarded as
unusually favourable specimens to work with？ Yet these schools are
at Limehouse； and are the Pauper Schools of the Stepney Pauper
Union。
On the second head of expense。 Would sixpence a week be considered
a very large cost for the education of each pupil； including all
salaries of teachers and rations of teachers？ But supposing the
cost were not sixpence a week； not fivepence？ it is FOURPENCE…
HALFPENNY。
On the third head of no proof； sir； no proof。 Is there any proof
in the facts that Pupil Teachers more in number； and more highly
qualified； have been produced here under the Short…Time system than
under the Long…Time system？ That the Short…Timers； in a writing
competition； beat the Long…Timers of a first…class National School？
That the sailor…boys are in such demand for merchant ships； that
whereas； before they were trained； 10L。 premium used to be given
with each boy … too often to some greedy brute of a drunken
skipper； who disappeared before the term of apprenticeship was out；
if the ill…used boy didn't … captains of the best