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don't want。 And I gev a screech to friken 'em。 And he called me
and gev me tuppence； and sez； 'You go to the devil；' he sez； 'and
don't tell no one you seen me here； or else；' he sez； 'I might be
tempted to drownd you；' he sez； 'and wot a shock that would be to
your parents！ ' 'Oh； yes； very likely；' I sez； jes' like that。
Then I went away； because he knows Mr。 Wickens； and I was afeerd
of his telling on me。〃
The boy being now subdued； questions were put to him from all
sides。 But his powers of observation and description went no
further。 As he was anxious to propitiate his captors； he answered
as often as possible in the affirmative。 Mr。 Jansenius asked him
whether the young woman he had seen was a lady； and he said yes。
Was the man a laborer？ Yesafter a moment's hesitation。 How was
she dressed？ He hadn't taken notice。 Had she red flowers in her
hat？ Yes。 Had she a green dress？ Yes。 Were the flowers in her hat
yellow？ （Agatha's question。） Yes。 Was her dress pink？ Yes。 Sure
it wasn't black？ No answer。
〃I told you he was a liar；〃 said Fairholme contemptuously。
〃Well； I expect he's seen something；〃 said the inspector； 〃but
what it was； or who it was； is more than I can get out of him。〃
There was a pause； and they looked askance upon Wickens's boy。
His account of the kissing made it almost an insult to the
Janseniuses to identify with Henrietta the person he had seen。
Jane suggested dragging the canal； but was silenced by an
indignant 〃sh…sh…sh；〃 accompanied by apprehensive and sympathetic
glances at the bereaved parents。 She was displaced from the focus
of attention by the appearance of the two policemen who had been
sent to the chalet。 Smilash was between them； apparently a
prisoner。 At a distance； he seemed to have suffered some
frightful injury to his head； but when he was brought into the
midst of the company it appeared that he had twisted a red
handkerchief about his face as if to soothe a toothache。 He had a
particularly hangdog expression as he stood before the inspector
with his head bowed and his countenance averted from Mr。
Jansenius； who； attempting to scrutinize his features； could see
nothing but a patch of red handkerchief。
One of the policemen described how they had found Smilash in the
act of entering his dwelling； how he had refused to give any
information or to go to the college； and had defied them to take
him there against his will； and how； on their at last proposing
to send for the inspector and Mr。 Jansenius； he had called them
asses； and consented to accompany them。 The policeman concluded
by declaring that the man was either drunk or designing； as he
could not or would not speak sensibly。
〃Look here； governor；〃 began Smilash to the inspector； 〃I am a
common manno commoner goin'； as you may see for〃
〃That's 'im；〃 cried Wickens's boy； suddenly struck with a sense
of his own importance as a witness。 〃That's 'im that the lady
kissed； and that gev me tuppence and threatened to drownd me。〃
〃And with a 'umble and contrite 'art do I regret that I did not
drownd you； you young rascal；〃 said Smilash。 〃It ain't manners to
interrupt a man who； though common； might be your father for
years and wisdom。〃
〃Hold your tongue；〃 said the inspector to the boy。 〃Now； Smilash；
do you wish to make any statement？ Be careful； for whatever you
say may be used against you hereafter。〃
〃If you was to lead me straight away to the scaffold； colonel； I
could tell you no more than the truth。 If any man can say that he
has heard Jeff Smilash tell a lie； let him stand forth。〃
〃We don't want to hear about that；〃 said the inspector。 〃As you
are a stranger in these parts； nobody here knows any bad of you。
No more do they know any good of you neither。〃
〃Colonel；〃 said Smilash； deeply impressed； 〃you have a
penetrating mind； and you know a bad character at sight。 Not to
deceive you； I am that given to lying； and laziness； and
self…indulgence of all sorts； that the only excuse I can find for
myself is that it is the nature of the race so to be； for most
men is just as bad as me； and some of 'em worsen I do not speak
pers'nal to you； governor； nor to the honorable gentlemen here
assembled。 But then you； colonel； are a hinspector of police；
which I take to be more than merely human； and as to the
gentlemen here； a gentleman ain't a manleastways not a common
manthe common man bein' but the slave wot feeds and clothes the
gentleman beyond the common。〃
〃Come；〃 said the inspector； unable to follow these observations；
〃you are a clever dodger； but you can't dodge me。 Have you any
statement to make with reference to the lady that was last seen
in your company？〃
〃Take a statement about a lady！〃 said Smilash indignantly。 〃Far
be the thought from my mind！〃
〃What have you done with her？〃 said Agatha； impetuously。 〃Don't
be silly。〃
〃You're not bound to answer that； you know；〃 said the inspector；
a little put out by Agatha's taking advantage of her
irresponsible unofficial position to come so directly to the
point。 〃You may if you like； though。 If you've done any harm；
you'd better hold your tongue。 If not； you'd better say so。〃
〃I will set the young lady's mind at rest respecting her
honorable sister；〃 said Smilash。 〃When the young lady caught
sight of me she fainted。 Bein' but a young man； and not used to
ladies； I will not deny but that I were a bit scared； and that my
mind were not open to the sensiblest considerations。 When she
unveils her orbs； so to speak； she ketches me round the neck； not
knowin' me from Adam the father of us all； and sez； 'Bring me
some water； and don't let the girls see me。' Through not 'avin'
the intelligence to think for myself； I done just what she told
me。 I ups with her in my armsshe bein' a light weight and a
slender figureand makes for the canal as fast as I could。 When
I got there； I lays her on the bank and goes for the water。 But
what with factories； and pollutions； and high civilizations of
one sort and another； English canal water ain't fit to sprinkle
on a lady； much less for her to drink。 Just then； as luck would
have it； a barge came along and took her aboard； and〃
〃To such a thing；〃 said Wickens's boy stubbornly； emboldened by
witnessing the effrontery of one apparently of his own class。 〃I
sor you two standin' together； and her a kissin' of you。 There
worn's no barge。〃
〃Is the maiden modesty of a born lady to be disbelieved on the
word of a common boy that only walks the earth by the sufferance
of the landlords and moneylords he helps to feed？〃 cried Smilash
indignantly。 〃Why； you young infidel； a lady ain't made of common
brick like you。 She don't know what a kiss means； and if she did；
is it likely that she'd kiss me when a fine man like the
inspector here would be only too happy to oblige her。 Fie； for
shame！ The barge were red and yellow； with a green dragon for a
figurehead； and a white horse towin' of it。 Perhaps you're
color…blind； and can't distinguish red and yellow。 The bargee was
moved to compassion by the sight of the poor faintin' lady； and
the offer of 'arf…a…crown； and he had a mother that acted as a
mother should。 There was a cabin in that barge about as big as
the locker where your ladyship keeps your jam and pickles； and in
that locker the bargee lives； quite domestic； with his wife and
mother and five children。 Them canal boats is what you may call
the wooden walls of England。〃
〃Come； get on with your story；〃 said the inspector。 〃We know what
barges is as well as you。〃
〃I wish more knew of 'em；〃 retorted Smilash； 〃perhaps it 'ud
lighten your work a bit。 However； as I was sayin'； we went right
down the canal to Lyvern； where we got off； and the lady she took
the railway omnibus and went away in it。 With the noble
openhandedness of her class； she gave me sixpence； here it is； in
proof that my words is true。 And I wish her safe home； and if I
was on the rack I could tell no more； except that when I got back
I were laid hands on by these here bobbies； contrary to the
British constitooshun； and if your ladyship will kindly go to
where that constitooshun is wrote down； and find out wot it sez
about my rights and libertiesfor I have been told that the
working…man has his liberties； and have myself seen plenty took
with him you will oblige a common chap more than his education
will enable him to express。〃
〃Sir；〃 cried Mr。 Jansenius suddenly； 〃will you hold up your head
and look me in the face？〃
Smilash did so； and immediately started theatrically； exclaiming；
〃Whom do I see？〃
〃You would hardly believe it；〃 he continued； addressing the
company at large； 〃but I am well beknown to this honorable
gentleman。 I see it upon your lips； governor； to ask after my
missus； and I thank you for your condescending interest。 She is
well； sir； and my residence here is fully agreed upon between us。
What little cloud may have rose upon our domestic horizon has
past away； and； governor〃…here Smilash's voice fell with graver
emphasis〃them as interferes betwixt man and wife now will incur
a nevvy responsibility。 Here I am； such as you see me； and here I
mean to stay； likewise such as you see me。 That is； if what you
may call destiny permi