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a sort of set…off again' what I was paid short of the other men。
I couldn't afford to have it repaired； though I did what I could
to patch and prop it。 And now most like I shall be blamed for
letting it be blew down； and shall have to live in half a room in
the town and pay two or three shillin's a week； besides walkin'
three miles to and from my work every day。 A gentleman like Sir
John don't hardly know what the value of a penny is to us
laborin' folk； nor how cruel hard his estate rules and the like
comes on us。〃
〃Sir John's health！〃 said Smilash； touching the mug as before。
The man drank a mouthful humbly； and Smilash continued； 〃Here's
to the glorious landed gentry of old England： bless 'em！〃
〃Master Smilash is only jokin'；〃 said the man apologetically。
〃It's his way。〃
〃You should not bring a family into the world if you are so
poor；〃 said Miss Wilson severely。 〃Can you not see that you
impoverish yourself by doing soto put the matter on no higher
grounds。〃
〃Reverend Mr。 Malthus's health！〃 remarked Smilash； repeating his
pantomime。
〃Some say it's the children； and some say it's the drink； Miss；〃
said the man submissively。 〃But from what I see； family or no
family； drunk or sober； the poor gets poorer and the rich richer
every day。〃
〃Ain't it disgustin' to hear a man so ignorant of the improvement
in the condition of his class？〃 said Smilash； appealing to Miss
Wilson。
〃If you intend to take this man home with you；〃 she said； turning
sharply on him； 〃you had better do it at once。〃
〃I take it kind on your part that you ask me to do anythink；
after your up and telling Mr。 Wickens that I am the last person
in Lyvern you would trust with a job。〃
〃So you arethe very last。 Why don't you drink your beer？〃
〃Not in scorn of your brewing； lady； but because； bein' a common
man； water is good enough for me。〃
〃I wish you good…night； Miss；〃 said the man； 〃and thank you
kindly for Bess and the children。〃
〃Good…night；〃 she replied； stepping aside to avoid any salutation
from Smilash。 But he went up to her and said in a low voice； and
with the Trefusis manner and accent：
〃Good…night； Miss Wilson。 If you should ever be in want of the
services of a dog； a man； or a domestic engineer； remind Smilash
of Bess and the children； and he will act for you in any of those
capacities。〃
They opened the door cautiously； and found that the wind；
conquered by the rain； had abated。 Miss Wilson's candle； though
it flickered in the draught； was not extinguished this time； and
she was presently left with the housekeeper； bolting and chaining
the door； and listening to the crunching of feet on the gravel
outside dying away through the steady pattering of the rain。
CHAPTER VII
Agatha was at this time in her seventeenth year。 She had a lively
perception of the foibles of others； and no reverence for her
seniors； whom she thought dull； cautious； and ridiculously
amenable by commonplaces。 But she was subject to the illusion
which disables youth in spite of its superiority to age。 She
thought herself an exception。 Crediting Mr。 Jansenius and the
general mob of mankind with nothing but a grovelling
consciousness of some few material facts； she felt in herself an
exquisite sense and all…embracing conception of nature； shared
only by her favorite poets and heroes of romance and history。
Hence she was in the common youthful case of being a much better
judge of other people's affairs than of her own。 At the
fellow…student who adored some Henry or Augustus； not from the
drivelling sentimentality which the world calls love； but because
this particular Henry or Augustus was a phoenix to whom the laws
that govern the relations of ordinary lads and lasses did not
apply； Agatha laughed in her sleeve。 The more she saw of this
weakness in her fellows； the more satisfied she was that； being
forewarned； she was also forearmed against an attack of it on
herself； much as if a doctor were to conclude that he could not
catch smallpox because he had seen many cases of it； or as if a
master mariner； knowing that many ships are wrecked in the
British channel； should venture there without a pilot； thinking
that he knew its perils too well to run any risk of them。 Yet； as
the doctor might hold such an opinion if he believed himself to
be constituted differently from ordinary men； or the shipmaster
adopt such a course under the impression that his vessel was a
star； Agatha found false security in the subjective difference
between her fellows seen from without and herself known from
within。 When； for instance； she fell in love with Mr。 Jefferson
Smilash （a step upon which she resolved the day after the storm）；
her imagination invested the pleasing emotion with a sacredness
which； to her； set it far apart and distinct from the frivolous
fancies of which Henry and Augustus had been the subject； and she
the confidant。
〃I can look at him quite coolly and dispassionately；〃 she said to
herself。 〃Though his face has a strange influence that must； I
know； correspond to some unexplained power within me； yet it is
not a perfect face。 I have seen many men who are； strictly
speaking； far handsomer。 If the light that never was on sea or
land is in his eyes； yet they are not pretty eyesnot half so
clear as mine。 Though he wears his common clothes with a nameless
grace that betrays his true breeding at every step； yet he is not
tall； dark； and melancholy； as my ideal hero would be if I were
as great a fool as girls of my age usually are。 If I am in love；
I have sense enough not to let my love blind my judgment。〃
She did not tell anyone of her new interest in life。 Strongest in
that student community； she had used her power with good…nature
enough to win the popularity of a school leader； and occasionally
with unscrupulousness enough to secure the privileges of a school
bully。 Popularity and privilege； however； only satisfied her when
she was in the mood for them。 Girls； like men； want to be petted；
pitied； and made much of； when they are diffident； in low
spirits； or in unrequited love。 These are services which the weak
cannot render to the strong and which the strong will not render
to the weak； except when there is also a difference of sex。
Agatha knew by experience that though a weak woman cannot
understand why her stronger sister should wish to lean upon her；
she may triumph in the fact without understanding it； and give
chaff instead of consolation。 Agatha wanted to be understood and
not to be chaffed。 Finding herself unable to satisfy both these
conditions； she resolved to do without sympathy and to hold her
tongue。 She had often had to do so before； and she was helped on
this occasion by a sense of the ridiculous appearance her passion
might wear in the vulgar eye。 Her secret kept itself； as she was
supposed in the college to be insensible to the softer emotions。
Love wrought no external change upon her。 It made her believe
that she had left her girlhood behind her and was now a woman
with a newly…developed heart capacity at which she would
childishly have scoffed a little while before。 She felt ashamed
of the bee on the window pane； although it somehow buzzed as
frequently as before in spite of her。 Her calendar； formerly a
monotonous cycle of class times； meal times； play times； and bed
time； was now irregularly divided by walks past the chalet and
accidental glimpses of its tenant。
Early in December came a black frost； and navigation on the canal
was suspended。 Wickens's boy was sent to the college with news
that Wickens's pond would bear； and that the young ladies should
be welcome at any time。 The pond was only four feet deep； and as
Miss Wilson set much store by the physical education of her
pupils； leave was given for skating。 Agatha； who was expert on
the ice； immediately proposed that a select party should go out
before breakfast next morning。 Actions not in themselves virtuous
often appear so when performed at hours that compel early rising；
and some of the candidates for the Cambridge Local； who would not
have sacrificed the afternoon to amusement； at once fell in with
her suggestion。 But for them it might never have been carried
out； for when they summoned Agatha； at half…past six next
morning； to leave her warm bed and brave the biting air； she
would have refused without hesitation had she not been shamed
into compliance by these laborious ones who stood by her bedside；
blue…nosed and hungry； but ready for the ice。 When she had
dressed herself with much shuddering and chattering； they allayed
their internal discomfort by a slender meal of biscuits； got
their skates； and went out across the rimy meadows； past patient
cows breathing clouds of steam； to Wickens's pond。 Here； to their
surprise； was Smilash； on electro…plated acme skates； practicing
complicated figures with intense diligence。 It soon appeared that
his skill came short of his ambition； for； after several narrow
escapes and some frantic staggering； his calves； elbows； and
occiput smote the ice almost simultaneously。 On rising ruefully
to a sitting posture he became aware that eight young ladies were
watching his proceedings with interest。
〃Th