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THE MIRROR OF KONG HO
BY ERNEST BRAMAH
A lively and amusing collection of letters on
western living written by Kong Ho； a Chinese
gentleman。 These addressed to his homeland；
refer to the Westerners in London as
barbarians and many of the aids to life in our
society give Kong Ho endless food for thought。
These are things such as the motor car and the
piano； unknown in China at this time。
INTRODUCTION
ESTIMABLE BARBARIAN；Your opportune suggestion that I should
permit the letters； wherein I have described with undeviating
fidelity the customs and manner of behaving of your
accomplished race； to be set forth in the form of printed
leaves for all to behold； is doubtless gracefully…intentioned；
and this person will raise no barrier of dissent against it。
In this he is inspired by the benevolent hope that his
immature compositions may to one extent become a model and a
by…word to those who in turn visit his own land of Fragrant
Purity； for with exacting care he has set down no detail that
has not come under his direct observation （although it is not
to be denied that here or there he may； perchance； have
misunderstood an involved allusion or failed to grasp the
inner significance of an act）； so that Impartiality
necessarily sways his brush； and Truth lurks within his inkpot。
In an entirely contrary manner some； who of recent years have
gratified us with their magnanimous presence； have returned to
their own countries not only with the internal fittings of
many of our palaces （which； being for the most part of a
replaceable nature； need be only trivially referred to； the
incident； indeed； being generally regarded as a most cordial
and pressing variety of foreign politeness）； but alsoin the
lack of highly…spiced actualitywith subtly…imagined and
truly objectionable instances。 These calumnies they have not
hesitated to commit to the form of printed books； which；
falling into the hands of the ignorant and undiscriminating；
may even suggest to their ill…balanced minds a doubt whether
we of the Celestial Empire really are the wisest； bravest；
purest； and most enlightened people in existence。
As a parting； it only remains to be said that； in order to
maintain unimpaired the quaint…sounding brevity and archaic
construction of your prepossessing language； I have engraved
most of the remarks upon the receptive tablets of my mind as
they were uttered。 To one who can repeat the Five Classics
without stumbling this is a contemptible achievement。 Let it
be an imposed obligation； therefore； that you retain these
portions unchanged as a test and a proof to all who may read。
Of my own deficient words； I can only in truest courtesy
maintain that any alteration must of necessity make them less
offensively commonplace than at present they are。
The Sign and immutable Thumb…mark of；
Kong Ho
By a sure hand to the House of one Ernest Bramah。
THE MIRROR OF KONG HO
LETTER I
Concerning the journey。 The unlawful demons invoked by certain
of the barbarians； their power and the manner of their suppression。
suppression。 The incredible obtuseness of those who attend within tea…houses。
The harmonious attitude of a person of commerce。
VENERATED SIRE （at whose virtuous and well…established feet an
unworthy son now prostrates himself in spirit repeatedly）；
Having at length reached the summit of my journey； that London of
which the merchants from Canton spoke so many strange and incredible
things； I now send you filial salutations three times increased； and
in accordance with your explicit command I shall write all things to
you with an unvarnished brush； well assured that your versatile object
in committing me to so questionable an enterprise was； above all； to
learn the truth of these matters in an undeviating and yet open…headed
spirit of accuracy and toleration。
Of the perils incurred while travelling in the awe…inspiring devices
by which I was transferred from shore to shore and yet further inland；
of the utter absence of all leisurely dignity on the part of those
controlling their movements； and of the almost unnatural
self…opinionatedness which led them to persist in starting at a stated
and prearranged time； even when this person had courteously pointed
out to them by irrefutable omens that neither the day nor the hour was
suitable for the venture； I have already written。 It is enough to
assert that a similar want of prudence was maintained on every
occasion； and； as a result； when actually within sight of the walls of
this city； we were involved for upwards of an hour in a very
evilly…arranged yellow darkness； which； had we but delayed for a day；
as I strenuously advised those in authority after consulting the
Sacred Flat and Round Sticks； we should certainly have avoided。
Concerning the real nature of the devices by which the ships are
propelled at sea and the carriages on land； I must still unroll a
blank mind until I can secretly； and without undue hazard； examine
them more closely。 If； as you maintain； it is the work of captive
demons hidden away among their most inside parts； it must be admitted
that these usually intractable beings are admirably trained and
controlled； and I am wide…headed enough to think that in this respect
we mightnot…withstanding our nine thousand years of civilised
refinementlearn something of the methods of these barbarians。 The
secret； however； is jealously guarded； and they deny the existence of
any supernatural forces； but their protests may be ignored； for there
is undoubtedly a powerful demon used in a similar way by some of the
boldest of them； although its employment is unlawful。 A certain kind
of chariot is used for the occupation of this demon； and those who
wish to invoke it conceal their faces within masks of terrifying
design； and cover their hands and bodies with specially prepared
garments； without which it would be fatal to encounter these very
powerful spirits。 While yet among the habitations of men； and in
crowded places； they are constrained to use less powerful demons；
which are lawful； but when they reach the unfrequented paths they
throw aside all restraint； and； calling to their aid the forbidden
spirit （which they do by secret movements of the hands）； they are
carried forward by its agency at a speed unattainable by merely human
means。 By day the demon looks forth from three white eyes； which at
night have a penetrating brilliance equal to the fiercest glances of
the Sacred Dragon in anger。 If any person incautiously stands in its
way it utters a warning cry of intolerable rage； and should the
presumptuous one neglect to escape to the roadside and there prostrate
himself reverentially before it； it seizes him by the body part and
contemptuously hurls him bruised and unrecognisable into the boundless
space of the around。 Frequently the demon causes the chariot to rise
into the air； and it is credibly asserted by discriminating witnesses
（although this person only sets down as incapable of denial that which
he has actually beheld） that some have maintained an unceasing flight
through the middle air for a distance of many li。 Occasionally the
captive demon escapes from the bondage of those who have invoked it；
through some incautious gesture or heretical remark on their part； and
then it never fails to use them grievously； casting them to the ground
wounded； consuming the chariot with fire； and passing away in the
midst of an exceedingly debased odour； by which it is always
accompanied after the manner of our own earth spirits。
This being； as this person has already set forth； an unlawful demon on
account of its power when once called up； and the admitted uncertainty
of its movements； those in authority maintain a stern and inexorable
face towards the practice。 To entrap the unwary certain persons
（chosen on account of their massive outlines； and further protected
from evil influences by their pure and consistent habits） keep an
unceasing watch。 When one of them； himself lying concealed； detects
the approach of such a being； he closely observes the position of the
sun； and signals to the other a message of warning。 Then the second
one； shielded by the sanctity of hi