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seat which he was conveying across the room for the acceptance of a
lady； and immediately overwhelmed me with apologies of almost
unnecessary profusion； my mind at once leapt to an inspired
conclusion； and smiling acquiescently I bowed several times to each
person to convey to them an admission of the undoubted fact that to
the wise a timely omen before the storm is as effective as a
thunderbolt afterwards。
It chanced that there was present the exceptionally prepossessing
maiden to whom this person has already referred。 So varied and ornate
were her attractions that it would be incompetent in one of my less
than average ability to attempt an adequate portrayal。 She had a
light…coloured name with the letters so harmoniously convoluted as to
be quite beyond my inferior power of pronunciation； so that if I
wished to refer to her in her absence I had to indicate the one I
meant by likening her to a full…blown chrysanthemum； a piece of rare
jade； an ivory pagoda of unapproachable antiquity； or some other
object of admitted grace。 Even this description may scarcely convey to
you the real extent of her elegant personality； but in her presence my
internal organs never failed to vibrate with a most entrancing
uncertainty； and even now； at the recollection of her virtuous
demeanour； I am by no means settled within myself。
〃Well；〃 exclaimed this melodious vision； with sympathetic tact； 〃if
every one is going to disown poor Hercules because he has eaten all
our dinners； I shall be quite willing to have him； for he is a dzear
ole loveykins； wasn't ums？〃 （This； O my immaculate and dignified sire；
which I transcribe with faithful undeviation； appears to be the
dialect of a remote province； spoken only by maidensboth young and
of autumnal solitudeunder occasional mental stress； as of a native
of Shan…si relapsing without consciousness into his uncouth tongue
after passing a lifetime in the Capital。） 〃Don't you think so too；
Mr。 Kong？〃
〃When the sun shines the shadow falls； for truly it is said； 'To the
faithful one even the voice of the corncrake at evening speaks of his
absent love；'〃 replied this person； so engagingly disconcerted at
being thus openly addressed by the maiden that he retained no delicate
impression of what she said； or even of what he was replying； beyond
an unassuming hope that the nature of his feelings might perchance be
inoffensively revealed to her in the semblance of a discreet allegory。
〃Perhaps；〃 interposed a person of neglected refinement； turning
towards the maiden； 〃you would like to have a corncrake also； to remind
you of Mr。 Kong？〃
〃I do not know what a corncrake is like；〃 replied the maiden with
commendable dignity。 〃I do not think so； however； for I once had a
pair of canaries； and I found them very unsatisfying； insipid
creatures。 But I should love to have a little dog I am sure； only Miss
Blank won't hear of it。〃
〃Kong Ho；〃 thought this person inwardly； 〃not in vain have you burnt
joss sticks unceasingly； for the enchanting one has said into your
eyes that she would love to partake of a little dog。 Assuredly we have
recently consumed the cold portion of sheep on more occasions than a
strict honourableness could require of those who pay a stated sum at
regular intervals； and the change would be a welcome one。 As she truly
says； the flavour even of canaries is trivial and insignificant by
comparison。〃 During the period of dinnerwhich consisted of eggs and
green herbs of the fieldthis person allowed the contemplation to
grow within him； and inspired by a most pleasant and disinterested
ambition to carry out the expressed wishes of the one who had spoken；
he determined that the matter should be unobtrusively arranged
despite the mercenary opposition of the Maidens Blank。
This person had already learned by experience that dogs are rarely if
ever exposed for sale in the stalls of the meat venders； the reason
doubtless being that they are articles of excessive luxury and
reserved by law for the rich and powerful。 Those kept by private
persons are generally closely guarded when they approach a desirable
condition of body； and the hound Hercules would not prove an
attractive dish to those who had known him in life。 Nevertheless； it
is well said； 〃The Great Wall is unsurmountable； but there are many
gaps through；〃 and that same evening I was able to carry the first
part of my well…intentioned surprise into effect。
The matter now involves one named Herbert； who having exchanged gifts
of betrothal with a maiden staying at the house； was in the habit of
presenting himself openly； when he was permitted to see her； after the
manner of these barbarians。 （Yet even of them the more discriminating
acknowledge that our customs are immeasurably superior； for when I
explained to the aged father of the Maidens Blank that among us the
marriage rites are irrevocably performed before the bride is seen
unveiled by man； he sighed heavily and exclaimed that the parents of
this country had much to learn。）
The genial…minded Herbert had already acquired for himself the
reputation of being one who ceaselessly removes the gravity of others；
both by word and action； and from the first he selected this obscure
person for his charitable purpose to a most flattering extent。 Not
only did heon the pretext that his memory was rebelliousinvariably
greet me as 〃Mr。 Hong Kong；〃 but on more than one occasion he
insisted； with mirth…provoking reference to certain details of my
unbecoming garments； that I must surely have become confused and sent
a Mrs。 Hong Kong instead of myself； and frequently he undermined the
gravity of all most successfully by pulling me backwards suddenly by
the pigtail； with the plea that he imagined he was picking up his
riding…whip。 This attractive person was always accompanied by a
formidable dogof convex limbs； shrunken lip； and suspicious
demeanourwhich he called Influenza； to the excessive amusement of
those to whom he related its characteristics。 For some inexplicable
reason from the first it regarded my lower apparel as being unsuitable
for the ordinary occasions of life； and in spite of the low hissing
call by which its master endeavoured to attract its attention to
himself； it devoted its energies unceasingly to the self…imposed task
of removing them fragment by fragment。 Nevertheless it was a dog of
favourable size and condition； and it need not therefore be a matter
for surprise that when the intellectual person Herbert took his
departure on the day in question it had to be assumed that it had
already preceded him。 Having accomplished so much； this person found
little difficulty in preparing it tastefully in his own apartment；
and making the substitution on the following day。
Although his mind was confessedly enlarged at the success of his
venture； and his hopes most ornamentally coloured at the thought of
the adorable one's gratified esteem when she discovered how expertly
her wishes had been carried out； this person could not fail to notice
that the Maiden Blank was also materially agitated when she
distributed the contents of the dish before her。
〃Will you； of your enlightened courtesy； accept； and overlook the
deficiencies of； a portion of rabbit…pie； O high…souled Mr。 Kong？〃 she
inquired gracefully when this insignificant person was reached； and；
concealing my many…hued emotion beneath an impassive face； I bowed
agreeably as I replied； 〃To the beggar； black bread is a royal
course。〃
〃WHAT pie did you say； dear？〃 whispered another autumnal maiden；
when all had partaken somewhat； and at her words a most consistently
acute silence involved the table。
〃II don't quite know；〃 replied the one of the upper end； becoming
excessively devoid of complexion； and restraining her voice she
forthwith sent down an attending slave to inquire closely。
At this point a person of degraded ancestry endeavoured to remove the
undoubted cloud of depression by feigning the nocturnal cry of the
domestic cat； but in this he was not successful； and a maiden
opposite； after fixedly regarding a bone on her plate； withdrew
suddenly； embracing herself as she went。 A moment later the slave
returned； proclaiming aloud that the dish which had been prepared for
the occasion had now been accidentally discovered by the round…bodied
cook beneath the cushions of a