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the occasion had now been accidentally discovered by the round…bodied
cook beneath the cushions of an arm…chair （a spot by no means
satisfactory to this person's imagination had the opportunities at his
disposal been more diffuse）。
〃What； then； is this of which we have freely partaken？〃 cried they
around； and； in the really impressive silence which followed； an
inopportune person discovered a small silver tablet among the
fragments upon his plate； and； taking it up； read aloud the single
word； 〃Influenza。〃
During the day； and even far into the uncounted gong…strokes of the
time of darkness； this person had frequently remained in a fascinated
contemplation of the moment when he should reveal himself and stand up
to receive the benevolently…expressed congratulations of all who paid
an agreed sum at fixed intervals； and； particularly； the dazzling
though confessedly unsettling glance…thanks of the celestially…formed
maiden who had explicitly stated that she was desirous of having a
little dog。 Now； however； when this part of the enterprise ought to
have taken place； I found myself unable to evade the conclusion that
some important detail of the entire scheme had failed to agree
harmoniously with the rest； and； had it been possible； I would have
retired with unobtrusive tact and permitted another to wear
my honourable acquirements。 But； for some reason； as I looked around I
perceived that every eye was fixed upon me with what at another time
would have been a most engaging unanimity； and； although I bowed with
undeterred profusion； and endeavoured to walk out behind an expression
of all…comprehensive urbanity that had never hitherto failed me； a
person of unsympathetic outline placed himself before the door； and
two others； standing one on each side of me； gave me to understand
that a recital of the full happening was required before I left the
room。
*
It is hopeless to expect a display of refined intelligence at the
hands of a people sunk in barbarism and unacquainted with the
requirements of true dignity and the essentials of food preparation。
On the manner of behaving of the male portion of those present this
person has no inducement whatever to linger。 Even the maiden for whom
he had accomplished so much； after the nature of the misunderstanding
had been made plain to her； uttered only a single word of approval；
which； on subsequently consulting a book of interpretations； this
person found to indicate： 〃A person of weak intellect； one without an
adequate sense of the proportion and fitness of things； a buffoon； a
jester； a compound of gooseberries scalded and crushed with cream〃；
but although each of these definitions may in a way be regarded as
applicable； he is still unable to decide which was the precise one
intended。
With salutations of filial regard； and in a spirit seven times refined
by affliction and purified by vain regrets。
KONG HO。
（Upon whose tablet posterity will perchance inscribe the titles；
〃Ill…destined but Misjudged。〃）
LETTER III
Concerning the virtuous amusements of both old and young。 The
sit…round games。 The masterpiece of the divine Li Tang； and
its reception by all； including that same Herbert。
VENERATED SIRE （whose breadth of mind is so well developed as to take
for granted boundless filial professions； which； indeed； become vapid
by a too frequent reiteration）；
Your amiable inquiry as to how the barbarians pass their time； when
not employed in affairs of commerce or in worshipping their ancestors；
has inspired me to examine the matter more fully。 At the same time
your pleasantly…composed aphorism that the interior nature of persons
does not vary with the colour of their eyes； and that if I searched I
should find the old flying kites and the younger kicking feather
balls or working embroidery； according to their sex； does not appear
to be accurately sustained。
The lesser ones； it is true； engage in a variety of sumptuous
handicrafts； such as the scorching of wooden tablets with the
semblance of a pattern； and gouging others with sharpened implements
into a crude relief； depicting birds and flowers upon the surface of
plates； rending leather into shreds； and entwining beaten iron； brass；
and copper into a diversity of most ingenious complications； but when
I asked a maiden of affectionate and domesticated appearance whether
she had yet worked her age…stricken father's coffin…cloth； she said
that the subject was one upon which she declined to jest； and rapidly
involving herself in a profuse display of emotion； she withdrew；
leaving this one aghast。
To enable my mind to retranquillise； I approached a youth of
highly…gilded appearance； and； with many predictions of
self…inferiority； I suggested that we should engage in the stimulating
rivalry of feather ball。 When he learned； however； that the diversion
consisted in propelling upwards a feather…trimmed chip by striking it
against the side of the foot； he candidly replied that he was afraid
he had grown out of shuttle…cock； but did not mind； if I was
vigorously inclined； 〃taking me on for a set of yang…pong。〃
Old men here； it is said； do not fly kites； and they affect to despise
catching flies for amusement； although they frequently go fishing。
Struck by this peculiarity； I put it in the form of an inquiry to one
of venerable appearance； why； when at least five score flies were
undeniably before his eyes； he preferred to recline for lengthy
periods by the side of a stream endeavouring to snare creatures of
whose existence he himself had never as yet received any adequate
proof。 Doubtless in my contemptible ignorance； however； I used some
word inaccurately； for those who stood around suffered themselves
to become amused； and the one in question replied with no pretence of
amiable condescension that the jest had already been better expressed
a hundred times； and that I would find the behind parts of a printed
leaf called 〃Punch〃 in the bookcase。 Not being desirous of carrying on
a conversation of which I felt that I had misplaced the most highly
rectified ingredient； I bowed repeatedly； and replied affably that
wisdom ruled his left side and truth his right。
It was upon this same occasion that a young man of unprejudiced
wide…mindedness； taking me aside； asserted that the matter had not been
properly set forth when I was inquiring about kites。 Both old and
young men； he continued； frequently endeavoured to fly kites； even in
the involved heart of the city。 He had tried once or twice himself；
but never with encouraging success； chiefly； he was told； because his
paper was not good enough。 Many people； he added； would not scruple to
mislead me with evasive ambiguity on this one subject owing to an
ill…balanced conception of what constituted true dignity； but he was
unwilling that his countrymen should be thought by mine to be sunk
into a deeper barbarism than actually existed。
His warning was not inopportune。 Seated next to this person at a later
period was a maiden from whose agreeably…poised lips had hitherto
proceeded nothing but sincerity and fact。 Watching her closely I asked
her； as one who only had a languid interest either one way or the
other； whether her revered father or her talented and
richly…apparelled brothers ever spent their time flying kites about
the city。 In spite of a most efficient self…control her colour changed
at my words； and her features trembled for a moment； but quickly
reverting to herself she replied that she thought not； thenas though
to subdue my suspicions more completelythat she was sure they did
not； as the kites would certainly frighten the horses and the
appointed watchmen of the street would not allow it。 She confessed；
however； with unassumed candour； that the immediate descendants of her
sister were gracefully proficient in the art。
From this； great and enlightened one； you will readily perceive how
misleading an impression might be carried away by a person
scrupulously…intentioned but not continually looking both ways； when
placed among a people endowed with the uneasy suspicion of the
barbarian and struggling to assert a doubtful refinement。 Apart from
this； there has to be taken into consideration their involved process
of reaso