stories of a western town-第3章

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　his　coat　and　walked　out　of　the　place　where　he　had　worked　so　long；　not　a　man　saying　a　word。　Lieders　didn't　reflect　that　they　knew　nothing　of　the　quarrel。　He　glowered　at　them　and　went　away　sore　at　heart。　　We　make　a　great　mistake　when　we　suppose　that　it　is　only　the　affectionate　that　desire　affection；　sulky　and　ill…conditioned　souls　often　have　a　passionate　longing　for　the　very　feelings　that　they　repel。　Lieders　was　a　womanish；　sensitive　creature　under　the　surly　mask；　and　he　was　cut　to　the　quick　by　his　comrades'　apathy。　〃There　ain't　no　place　for　old　men　in　this　world；〃　he　thought；　〃there's　them　boys　I　done　my　best　to　make　do　a　good　job；　and　some　of　'em　I've　worked　overtime　to　help；　and　not　one　of　'em　has　got　as　much　as　a　good…by　in　him　for　me！〃　But　he　did　not　think　of　going　to　poor　Thekla　for　comfort；　he　went　to　his　grim　dreams。　　〃I　git　my　property　all　straight　for　Thekla；　and　then　I　quit；〃　said　he。　　Perhaps　he　gave　himself　a　reprieve　unconsciously；　thinking　that　something　might　happen　to　save　him　from　himself。　　Nothing　happened。　　None　of　the　〃boys〃　came　to　see　him；　except　Carl　Olsen；　the　very　stupidest　man　in　the　shop；　who　put　Lieders　beside　himself　fifty　times　a　day。　The　other　men　were　sorry　that　Lieders　had　gone；　having　a　genuine　workman's　admiration　for　his　skill；　and　a　sort　of　underground　liking　for　the　unreasonable　old　man　because　he　was　so　absolutely　honest　and　〃a　fellow　could　always　tell　where　to　find　him。〃　But　they　were　shy；　they　were　afraid　he　would　take　their　pity　in　bad　part；　they　〃waited　a　while。〃　Carl；　honest　soul；　stood　about　in　Lieders's　workshop；　kicking　the　shavings　with　his　heels　for　half　an　hour；　and　grinned　sheepishly；　and　was　told　what　a　worthless；　scamping；　bragging　lot　the　〃boys〃　at　Lossing's　were；　and　said　he　guessed　he　had　got　to　go　home　now；　and　so　departed；　unwitting　that　his　presence　had　been　a　consolation。　Mrs。　Olsen　asked　Carl　what　Lieders　said；　Carl　answered　simply；　〃Say；　Freda；　that　man　feels　terrible　bad。〃　Meanwhile　Thekla　seemed　easily　satisfied。　　She　made　no　outcry　as　Lieders　had　dreaded；　over　his　leaving　the　shop。　〃Well；　then；　papa；　you　don't　need　git　up　so　early　in　the　morning　no　more；　if　you　aint　going　to　the　shop；〃　was　her　only　comment；　and　Lieders　despised　the　mind　of　woman　more　than　ever。　But　that　evening；　while　Lieders　was　down　town　（occupied；　had　she　known　it；　with　a　codicil　to　his　will）；　she　went　over　to　the　Olsens　and　found　out　all　Carl　could　tell　her　about　the　trouble　in　the　shop。　And　it　was　she　that　made　the　excuse　of　marketing　to　go　out　the　next　day；　that　she　might　see　the　rich　widow　on　the　hill　who　was　talking　about　a　china　closet；　and　Judge　Trevor；　who　had　asked　the　price　of　a　mantel；　and　Mr。　Martin；　who　had　looked　at　sideboards　（all　this　information　came　from　honest　Carl）；　and　who　proposed　to　them　that　they　order　such　furniture　of　the　best　cabinet…maker　in　the　country；　now　setting　up　on　his　own　account。　He；　simple　as　a　baby　for　all　his　doggedness；　thought　that　they　came　because　of　his　fame　as　a　workman；　and　felt　a　glow　of　pride；　particularly　as　（having　been　prepared　by　the　wife；　who　said；　〃You　see　it　don't　make　so　much　difference　with　my　Kurt　'bout　de　prize；　if　so　he　can　get　the　furniture　like　he　wants　it；　and　he　always　know　of　the　best　in　the　old　country〃）　they　all　were　duly　humble。　　He　accepted　a　few　orders　and　went　to　work　with　a　will；　he　would　show　them　what　the　old　man　could　do。　But　it　was　only　a　temporary　gleam；　in　a　little　while　he　grew　homesick　for　the　shop；　for　the　sawdust　floor　and　the　familiar　smell　of　oil；　and　the　picture　of　Lossing　flitting　in　and　out。　He　missed　the　careless　young　workmen　at　whom　he　had　grumbled；　he　missed　the　whir　of　machinery；　and　the　consciousness　of　rush　and　hurry　accented　by　the　cars　on　the　track　outside。　In　short；　he　missed　the　feeling　of　being　part　of　a　great　whole。　At　home；　in　his　cosey　little　improvised　shop；　there　was　none　to　dispute　him；　but　there　was　none　to　obey　him　either。　He　grew　deathly　tired　of　it　all。　　He　got　into　the　habit　of　walking　around　the　shops　at　night；　prowling　about　his　old　haunts　like　a　cat。　　Once　the　night　watchman　saw　him。　The　next　day　there　was　a　second　watchman　engaged。　And　Olsen　told　him　very　kindly；　meaning　only　to　warn　him；　that　he　was　suspected　to　be　there　for　no　good　purpose。　Lieders　confirmed　a　lurking　suspicion　of　the　good　Carl's　own；　by　the　clouding　of　his　face。　　Yet　he　would　have　chopped　his　hand　off　rather　than　have　lifted　it　against　the　shop。　That　was　Tuesday　night；　this　was　Wednesday　morning。　The　memory　of　it　all；　the　cruel　sense　of　injustice；　returned　with　such　poignant　force　that　Lieders　groaned　aloud。　Instantly；　Thekla　was　bending　over　him。　　He　did　not　know　whether　to　laugh　at　her　or　to　swear；　for　she　began　fumbling　at　the　ropes；　half　sobbing。　〃Yes；　I　knowed　they　was　hurting　you；　papa；　I'm　going　to　loose　one　arm。　Then　I　put　it　back　again　and　loose　the　other。　　Please　don't　be　bad！〃　He　made　no　resistance　and　she　was　as　good　as　her　word。　She　unbound　and　bound　him　in　sections；　as　it　were；　he　watching　her　with　a　morose　smile。　Then　she　left　the　room；　but　only　to　return　with　some　hot　coffee。　Lieders　twisted　his　head　away。　　〃No；〃　said　he；　〃I　don't　eat　none　of　that　breakfast；　not　if　you　make　fresh　coffee　all　the　morning；　I　feel　like　I　don't　eat　never　no　more　on　earth。〃　Thekla　knew　that　the　obstinate　nature　that　she　tempted　was　proof　against　temptation；　if　Kurt　chose　to　starve；　starve　he　would　with　food　at　his　elbow。　〃Oh；　papa；〃　she　cried；　helplessly；　〃what　IS　the　matter　with　you？〃　〃Just　dying　is　the　matter　with　me；　Thekla。　　If　I　can't　die　one　way　I　kin　another。　　Now　Thekla；　I　want　you　to　quit　crying　and　listen。　After　I'm　gone　you　go　to　the　boss；　young　Mr。　Lossing　but　I　always　called　him　Harry　because　he　learned　his　trade　of　me；　Thekla；　but　he　don't　think　of　that　nowand　you　tell　him　old　Lieders　that　worked　for　him　thirty　years　is　dead；　but　he　didn't　hold　no　hard　feelings；　he　knowed　he　done　wrong　'bout　that　mantel。　Mind　you　tell　him。〃　〃Yes；　papa；〃　said　Thekla；　which　was　a　surprise　to　Kurt；　he　had　dreaded　a　weak　flood　of　tears　and　protestations。　But　there　were　no　tears；　no　protestations；　only　a　long　look　at　him　and　a　contraction　of　the　eyebrows　as　if　Thekla　were　trying　to　think　of　something　that　eluded　her。　　She　placed　the　coffee　on　the　tray　beside　the　other　breakfast。　　For　a　while　the　room　was　very　still。　Lieders　could　not　see　the　look　of　resolve　that　finally　smoothed　the　perplexed　lines　out　of　his　wife's　kind；　simple　old　face。　She　rose。　　〃Kurt；〃　she　said；　〃I　don't　guess　you　remember　this　is　our　wedding…day；　it　was　this　day；　eighteen　year　we　was　married。〃　〃So！〃　said　Lieders；　〃well；　I　was　a　bad　bargain　to　you；　Thekla；　after　you　nursed　your　father　that　was　a　cripple　for　twenty　years；　I　thought　it　would　be　easy　with　me；　but　I　was　a　bad　bargain。〃　〃The　Lord　knows　best　about　that；〃　said　Thekla；　simply；　〃be　it　how　it　be；　you　are　the　only　man　I　ever　had　or　will　have；　and　I　don't　like　you　starve　yourself。　　Papa；　say　you　don't　kill　yourself；　to…day；　and　dat　you　will　eat　your　breakfast！〃　〃Yes；〃　Lieders　repeated　in　German；　〃a　bad　bargain　for　thee；　that　is　sure。　But　thou　hast　been　a　good　bargain　for　me。　　Here！　　I　promise。　Not　this　day。　　Give　me　the　coffee。〃　He　had　seasons；　all　the　morning；　of　wondering　over　his　meekness；　and　his　agreement　to　be　tied　up　again；　at　night。　　But　still；　what　did　a　day　matter？　a　man　humors　women's　notions；　and　starving　was　so　tedious。　　Between　whiles　he　elaborated　a　scheme　to　attain　his　end。　　How　easy　to　outwit　the　silly　Thekla！　　His　eyes　shone；　as　he　hid　the　little；　sharp　knife　up　his　cuff。　　〃Let　her　tie　me！〃　says　Lieders；　〃I　keep　my　word。　　To…morrow　I　be　out　of　this。　He　won't　git　a　man　like　me；　pretty　soon！〃　Thekla　went　about　her　daily　tasks；　with　her　every…day　air；　but；　now　and　again；　that　same　pucker　of　thought　returned　to　her　forehead；　and；　more　than　once；　Lieders　saw　her　stand　over　some　dish；　poising　her　spoon　in　air；　too　abstracted　to　notice　his　cynical　observation。　The　dinner　was　more　elaborate　than　common；　and　Thekla　had　broached　a　bottle　of　her　currant　wine。　　She　gravely　drank　Lieders's　health。　〃And　many　good　days；　papa；〃　she　said。　Lieders　felt　a　queer　movement　of　pity。　　After　the　table　was　cleared；　he　helped　his　wife　to　wash　and　wipe　the　dishes　as　his　custom　was　of　a　Sunday　or　holiday。　　He　wiped　dishes　as　he　did　everything；　neatly；　slowly；　with　a　careful　deliberation。　Not　until　the　dishes　were　put　away　and　the　couple　were　seated；　did　Thekla　speak。　〃Kurt；〃　she　said；　〃I　got　to　talk　to　you。〃　An　inarticulate　groan　and　a　glance　at　the　door　from　Lieders。　〃I　just　got　to；　papa。　　It　aint　righd　for　you　to　do　the　way　you　been　doing　for　so　long　time；　efery　little　whiles　you　try　to　kill　yourself；　no；　papa；　that　aint　righd！〃　Kurt；　who　had　gotten　out　his　pencils　and　compasses　and　other　drawing　tools；　grunted：　　〃I　got　to　look　at　my　work；　Thekla；　now；　I　am　too　busy　to　talk。〃　〃No；　Kurt；　no；　papa〃the　hands　holding　the　blue　apron　that　she　was　embroidering　with　white　linen　began　to　tremble；　Lieders　had　not　the　least　idea　what　a　strain　it　was　on　this　reticent；　slow　of　speech　woman　who　had　stood　in　awe　of　him　for　eighteen　years；　to　discuss　the　horror　of　her　life；　but　he　could　not　help　marking　her　agitation。　She　went　on；　desperately：　　〃Yes；　papa；　I　got　to　talk　it　oud　with　you。　You　had　ought　to　listen；　'cause　I　always　been　a　g