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for her； whichever might be most acceptable； and also； of course； to tell
her the news of this important day： and perhaps to obtain a little
information from her in return； respecting Mr。 Weston's expected departure。
But of this she seemed to know nothing； and I hoped； as she did； that it
was all a false report。 She was very glad to see me； but； happily； her eyes
were now so nearly well that she was almost independent of my services。
She was deeply interested in the wedding； but while I amused her with the
details of the festive day； the splendours of the bridal party and of the
bride herself； she often sighed and shook her head； and wished good might
come of it； she seemed； like me； to regard it rather as a theme for sorrow
than rejoicing。 I sat a long time talking to her about that and other things
… but no one came。
Shall I confess that I sometimes looked towards the door with a half…
expectant wish to see it open and give entrance to Mr。 Weston； as had
happened once before？ and that； returning through the lanes and fields； I
often paused to look round me； and walked more slowly than was at all
necessary … for； though a fine evening； it was not a hot one … and； finally；
felt a sense of emptiness and disappointment at having reached the house
without meeting or even catching a distant glimpse of any one； except a
few labourers returning from their work？
Sunday； however； was approaching： I should see him then： for now
that Miss Murray was gone； I could have my old corner again。 I should
see him； and by look； speech； and manner； I might judge whether the
circumstance of her marriage had very much afflicted him。 Happily I
could perceive no shadow of a difference： he wore the same aspect as he
had worn two months ago … voice； look； manner； all alike unchanged：
there was the same keen…sighted； unclouded truthfulness in his discourse；
the same forcible clearness in his style； the same earnest simplicity in all
he said and did； that made itself； not marked by the eye and ear； but felt
upon the hearts of his audience。
I walked home with Miss Matilda； but HE DID NOT JOIN US。
Matilda was now sadly at a loss for amusement； and wofully in want of a
companion： her brothers at school； her sister married and gone； she too
young to be admitted into society； for which； from Rosalie's example； she
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was in some degree beginning to acquire a taste … a taste at least for the
company of certain classes of gentlemen； at this dull time of year … no
hunting going on； no shooting even … for； though she might not join in that；
it was SOMETHING to see her father or the gamekeeper go out with the
dogs； and to talk with them on their return； about the different birds they
had bagged。 Now； also； she was denied the solace which the
companionship of the coachman； grooms； horses； greyhounds； and
pointers might have afforded； for her mother having； notwithstanding the
disadvantages of a country life； so satisfactorily disposed of her elder
daughter； the pride of her heart had begun seriously to turn her attention to
the younger； and； being truly alarmed at the roughness of her manners； and
thinking it high time to work a reform； had been roused at length to exert
her authority； and prohibited entirely the yards； stables； kennels； and
coachhouse。 Of course； she was not implicitly obeyed； but； indulgent as
she had hitherto been； when once her spirit was roused； her temper was
not so gentle as she required that of her governesses to be； and her will
was not to be thwarted with impunity。 After many a scene of contention
between mother and daughter； many a violent outbreak which I was
ashamed to witness； in which the father's authority was often called in to
confirm with oaths and threats the mother's slighted prohibitions … for even
HE could see that 'Tilly； though she would have made a fine lad； was not
quite what a young lady ought to be' … Matilda at length found that her
easiest plan was to keep clear of the forbidden regions； unless she could
now and then steal a visit without her watchful mother's knowledge。
Amid all this； let it not be imagined that I escaped without many a
reprimand； and many an implied reproach； that lost none of its sting from
not being openly worded； but rather wounded the more deeply； because；
from that very reason； it seemed to preclude self… defence。 Frequently； I
was told to amuse Miss Matilda with other things； and to remind her of her
mother's precepts and prohibitions。 I did so to the best of my power：
but she would not be amused against her will； and could not against her
taste； and though I went beyond mere reminding； such gentle
remonstrances as I could use were utterly ineffectual。
'DEAR Miss Grey！ it is the STRANGEST thing。 I suppose you can't
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help it； if it's not in your nature … but I WONDER you can't win the
confidence of that girl； and make your society at LEAST as agreeable to
her as that of Robert or Joseph！'
'They can talk the best about the things in which she is most
interested；' I replied。
'Well！ that is a strange confession； HOWEVER； to come from her
GOVERNESS！ Who is to form a young lady's tastes； I wonder； if the
governess doesn't do it？ I have known governesses who have so
completely identified themselves with the reputation of their young ladies
for elegance and propriety in mind and manners； that they would blush to
speak a word against them； and to hear the slightest blame imputed to their
pupils was worse than to be censured in their own persons … and I really
think it very natural； for my part。'
'Do you； ma'am？'
'Yes； of course： the young lady's proficiency and elegance is of more
consequence to the governess than her own； as well as to the world。 If
she wishes to prosper in her vocation she must devote all her energies to
her business： all her ideas and all her ambition will tend to the
accomplishment of that one object。 When we wish to decide upon the
merits of a governess； we naturally look at the young ladies she professes
to have educated； and judge accordingly。 The JUDICIOUS governess
knows this： she knows that； while she lives in obscurity herself； her
pupils' virtues and defects will be open to every eye； and that； unless she
loses sight of herself in their cultivation； she need not hope for success。
You see； Miss Grey； it is just the same as any other trade or profession：
they that wish to prosper must devote themselves body and soul to their
calling； and if they begin to yield to indolence or self…indulgence they are
speedily distanced by wiser competitors： there is little to choose between
a person that ruins her pupils by neglect； and one that corrupts them by her
example。 You will excuse my dropping these little hints： you know it is
all for your own good。 Many ladies would speak to you much more
strongly； and many would not trouble themselves to speak at all； but
quietly look out for a substitute。 That； of course； would be the EASIEST
plan： but I know the advantages of a place like this to a person in your
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situation； and I have no desire to part with you； as I am sure you would do
very well if you will only think of these things and try to exert yourself a
LITTLE more： then； I am convinced； you would SOON acquire that
delicate tact which alone is wanting to give you a proper influence over
the mind of your pupil。'
I was about to give the lady some idea of the fallacy of her
expectations； but she sailed away as soon as she had concluded he