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before； but Sir Thomas and old Lady Ashby： but you needn't mind them
… they'll trouble us but little with their company。 And you shall have a
room to yourself； whenever you like to retire to it； and plenty of books to
read when my company is not sufficiently amusing。 I forget whether you
like babies； if you do； you may have the pleasure of seeing mine … the most
charming child in the world； no doubt； and all the more so； that I am not
troubled with nursing it … I was determined I wouldn't be bothered with
that。 Unfortunately； it is a girl； and Sir Thomas has never forgiven me： but；
however； if you will only come； I promise you shall be its governess as
soon as it can speak； and you shall bring it up in the way it should go； and
make a better woman of it than its mamma。 And you shall see my poodle；
too： a splendid little charmer imported from Paris： and two fine Italian
paintings of great value … I forget the artist。 Doubtless you will be able to
discover prodigious beauties in them； which you must point out to me； as I
only admire by hearsay； and many elegant curiosities besides； which I
purchased at Rome and elsewhere； and； finally； you shall see my new
home … the splendid house and grounds I used to covet so greatly。 Alas！
how far the promise of anticipation exceeds the pleasure of possession！
There's a fine sentiment！ I assure you I am become quite a grave old
matron： pray come； if it be only to witness the wonderful change。
Write by return of post； and tell me when your vacation commences； and
say that you will come the day after； and stay till the day before it closes …
in mercy to
'Yours affectionately；
'ROSALIE ASHBY。'
I showed this strange epistle to my mother； and consulted her on what
I ought to do。 She advised me to go； and I went … willing enough to see
Lady Ashby； and her baby； too； and to do anything I could to benefit her；
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by consolation or advice； for I imagined she must be unhappy； or she
would not have applied to me thus … but feeling； as may readily be
conceived； that； in accepting the invitation； I made a great sacrifice for her；
and did violence to my feelings in many ways； instead of being delighted
with the honourable distinction of being entreated by the baronet's lady to
visit her as a friend。 However； I determined my visit should be only for a
few days at most； and I will not deny that I derived some consolation from
the idea that； as Ashby Park was not very far from Horton； I might
possibly see Mr。 Weston； or； at least； hear something about him。
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CHAPTER XXII … THE VISIT
ASHBY PARK was certainly a very delightful residence。 The
mansion was stately without； commodious and elegant within； the park
was spacious and beautiful； chiefly on account of its magnificent old trees；
its stately herds of deer； its broad sheet of water； and the ancient woods
that stretched beyond it： for there was no broken ground to give variety
to the landscape； and but very little of that undulating swell which adds so
greatly to the charm of park scenery。 And so； this was the place Rosalie
Murray had so longed to call her own； that she must have a share of it； on
whatever terms it might be offered … whatever price was to be paid for the
title of mistress； and whoever was to be her partner in the honour and bliss
of such a possession！ Well I am not disposed to censure her now。
She received me very kindly； and； though I was a poor clergyman's
daughter； a governess； and a schoolmistress； she welcomed me with
unaffected pleasure to her home； and … what surprised me rather … took
some pains to make my visit agreeable。 I could see； it is true； that she
expected me to be greatly struck with the magnificence that surrounded
her； and； I confess； I was rather annoyed at her evident efforts to reassure
me； and prevent me from being overwhelmed by so much grandeur … too
much awed at the idea of encountering her husband and mother…in…law； or
too much ashamed of my own humble appearance。 I was not ashamed of
it at all； for； though plain； I had taken good care not to shabby or mean；
and should have been pretty considerably at my ease； if my condescending
hostess had not taken such manifest pains to make me so； and； as for the
magnificence that surrounded her； nothing that met my eyes struck me or
affected me half so much as her own altered appearance。 Whether from
the influence of fashionable dissipation； or some other evil； a space of
little more than twelve months had had the effect that might be expected
from as many years； in reducing the plumpness of her form； the freshness
of her complexion； the vivacity of her movements； and the exuberance of
her spirits。
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I wished to know if she was unhappy； but I felt it was not my province
to inquire： I might endeavour to win her confidence； but； if she chose to
conceal her matrimonial cares from me； I would trouble her with no
obtrusive questions。 I； therefore； at first； confined myself to a few
general inquiries about her health and welfare； and a few commendations
on the beauty of the park； and of the little girl that should have been a boy：
a small delicate infant of seven or eight weeks old； whom its mother
seemed to regard with no remarkable degree of interest or affection；
though full as much as I expected her to show。
Shortly after my arrival； she commissioned her maid to conduct me to
my room and see that I had everything I wanted； it was a small；
unpretending； but sufficiently comfortable apartment。 When I descended
thence … having divested myself of all travelling encumbrances； and
arranged my toilet with due consideration for the feelings of my lady
hostess； she conducted me herself to the room I was to occupy when I
chose to be alone； or when she was engaged with visitors； or obliged to be
with her mother…in…law； or otherwise prevented； as she said； from enjoying
the pleasure of my society。 It was a quiet； tidy little sitting…room； and I
was not sorry to be provided with such a harbour of refuge。
'And some time；' said she； 'I will show you the library： I never
examined its shelves； but； I daresay； it is full of wise books； and you may
go and burrow among them whenever you please。 And now you shall
have some tea … it will soon be dinner…time； but I thought； as you were
accustomed to dine at one； you would perhaps like better to have a cup of
tea about this time； and to dine when we lunch： and then； you know； you
can have your tea in this room； and that will save you from having to dine
with Lady Ashby and Sir Thomas： which would be rather awkward … at
least； not awkward； but rather … a … you know what I mean。 I thought you
mightn't like it so well … especially as we may have other ladies and
gentlemen to dine with us occasionally。'
'Certainly；' said I； 'I would much rather have it as you say； and； if you
have no objection； I should prefer having all my meals in this room。'
'Why so？'
'Because； I imagine； it would be more agreeable to Lady Ashby and Sir
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Thomas。'
'Nothing of the kind。'
'At any rate it would be more agreeable to me。'
She made some faint objections； but soon conceded； and I could see
that the proposal was a considerable relief to her。 'Now； come into the
drawing…room；' said she。 'There's the dressing bell； but I won't go yet：
it's no use dressing when there's no one to see you； and I want to have a
little