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with dignity。 'You used to have a gentlemanly respect for me; and
for yourself。 Don't speak any more as you have spoken; and don't
come again。 I cannot think that this visit is serious; or was
closely considered by you。'
'Considered: well; I came to see you as an old and good friendnot
to mince matters; to visit a woman I loved。 Don't be angry! I
could not help doing it; so many things brought you into my mind 。 。
。 This evening I fell in with an acquaintance; and when I saw how
happy he was with his wife and family welcoming him home; though
with only one…tenth of my income and chances; and thought what might
have been in my case; it fairly broke down my discretion; and off I
came here。 Now I am here I feel that I am wrong to some extent。
But the feeling that I should like to see you; and talk of those we
used to know in common; was very strong。'
'Before that can be the case a little more time must pass;' said
Miss Savile quietly; 'a time long enough for me to regard with some
calmness what at present I remember far too impatientlythough it
may be you almost forget it。 Indeed you must have forgotten it long
before you acted as you did。' Her voice grew stronger and more
vivacious as she added: 'But I am doing my best to forget it too;
and I know I shall succeed from the progress I have made already!'
She had remained standing till now; when she turned and sat down;
facing half away from him。
Barnet watched her moodily。 'Yes; it is only what I deserve;' he
said。 'Ambition pricked me onno; it was not ambition; it was
wrongheadedness! Had I but reflected 。 。 。 ' He broke out
vehemently: 'But always remember this; Lucy: if you had written to
me only one little line after that misunderstanding; I declare I
should have come back to you。 That ruined me!' he slowly walked as
far as the little room would allow him to go; and remained with his
eyes on the skirting。
'But; Mr。 Barnet; how could I write to you? There was no opening
for my doing so。'
'Then there ought to have been;' said Barnet; turning。 'That was my
fault!'
'Well; I don't know anything about that; but as there had been
nothing said by me which required any explanation by letter; I did
not send one。 Everything was so indefinite; and feeling your
position to be so much wealthier than mine; I fancied I might have
mistaken your meaning。 And when I heard of the other ladya woman
of whose family even you might be proudI thought how foolish I had
been; and said nothing。'
'Then I suppose it was destinyaccidentI don't know what; that
separated us; dear Lucy。 Anyhow you were the woman I ought to have
made my wifeand I let you slip; like the foolish man that I was!'
'O; Mr。 Barnet;' she said; almost in tears; 'don't revive the
subject to me; I am the wrong one to console youthink; sir;you
should not be hereit would be so bad for me if it were known!'
'It wouldit would; indeed;' he said hastily。 'I am not right in
doing this; and I won't do it again。'
'It is a very common folly of human nature; you know; to think the
course you did NOT adopt must have been the best;' she continued;
with gentle solicitude; as she followed him to the door of the room。
'And you don't know that I should have accepted you; even if you had
asked me to be your wife。' At this his eye met hers; and she
dropped her gaze。 She knew that her voice belied her。 There was a
silence till she looked up to add; in a voice of soothing
playfulness; 'My family was so much poorer than yours; even before I
lost my dear father; thatperhaps your companions would have made
it unpleasant for us on account of my deficiencies。'
'Your disposition would soon have won them round;' said Barnet。
She archly expostulated: 'Now; never mind my disposition; try to
make it up with your wife! Those are my commands to you。 And now
you are to leave me at once。'
'I will。 I must make the best of it all; I suppose;' he replied;
more cheerfully than he had as yet spoken。 'But I shall never again
meet with such a dear girl as you!' And he suddenly opened the
door; and left her alone。 When his glance again fell on the lamps
that were sparsely ranged along the dreary level road; his eyes were
in a state which showed straw…like motes of light radiating from
each flame into the surrounding air。
On the other side of the way Barnet observed a man under an
umbrella; walking parallel with himself。 Presently this man left
the footway; and gradually converged on Barnet's course。 The latter
then saw that it was Charlson; a surgeon of the town; who owed him
money。 Charlson was a man not without ability; yet he did not
prosper。 Sundry circumstances stood in his way as a medical
practitioner: he was needy; he was not a coddle; he gossiped with
men instead of with women; he had married a stranger instead of one
of the town young ladies; and he was given to conversational
buffoonery。 Moreover; his look was quite erroneous。 Those only
proper features in the family doctor; the quiet eye; and the thin
straight passionless lips which never curl in public either for
laughter or for scorn; were not his; he had a full…curved mouth; and
a bold black eye that made timid people nervous。 His companions
were what in old times would have been called boon companionsan
expression which; though of irreproachable root; suggests
fraternization carried to the point of unscrupulousness。 All this
was against him in the little town of his adoption。
Charlson had been in difficulties; and to oblige him Barnet had put
his name to a bill; and; as he had expected; was called upon to meet
it when it fell due。 It had been only a matter of fifty pounds;
which Barnet could well afford to lose; and he bore no ill…will to
the thriftless surgeon on account of it。 But Charlson had a little
too much brazen indifferentism in his composition to be altogether a
desirable acquaintance。
'I hope to be able to make that little bill…business right with you
in the course of three weeks; Mr。 Barnet;' said Charlson with hail…
fellow friendliness。
Barnet replied good…naturedly that there was no hurry。
This particular three weeks had moved on in advance of Charlson's
present with the precision of a shadow for some considerable time。
'I've had a dream;' Charlson continued。 Barnet knew from his tone
that the surgeon was going to begin his characteristic nonsense; and
did not encourage him。 'I've had a dream;' repeated Charlson; who
required no encouragement。 'I dreamed that a gentleman; who has
been very kind to me; married a haughty lady in haste; before he had
quite forgotten a nice little girl he knew before; and that one wet
evening; like the present; as I was walking up the harbour…road; I
saw him come out of that dear little girl's present abode。'
Barnet glanced towards the speaker。 The rays from a neighbouring
lamp struck through the drizzle under Charlson's umbrella; so as
just to illumine his face against the shade behind; and show that
his eye was turned up under the outer corner of its lid; whence it
leered with impish jocoseness as he thrust his tongue into his
cheek。
'Come;' said Barnet gravely; 'we'll have no more of that。'
'No; noof course not;' Charlson hastily answered; seeing that his
humour had carried him too far; as it had done many times before。
He was profuse in his apologies; but Barnet did not reply。 Of one
thing he was certainthat scandal was a plant of quick root; and
that he was bound to obey Lucy's injunction for Lucy's own sake。
CHAPTER III
He did so; to the letter; and though; as the crocus followed the
snowdrop and the daffodil the crocus in Lucy's garden; the harbour…
road was a not unpleasant place to walk in; Barnet's feet never trod
its stones; much less approached her door。 He avoided a saunter
that way as he would have avoided a dangerous dram; and took his
airings a long distance northward; among severely square and brown
ploughed fields; where no other townsman came。 Sometimes he went
round by the lower lanes of the borough; where the rope…walks
stretched in which his family formerly had share; and looked at the
rope…makers walking backwards; overhung by apple…trees and bushes;
and intruded on by cows and calves; as if trade had established
itself there at considerable inconvenience to Nature。
One morning; when the sun was so warm as to raise a steam from the
south…eastern slopes of those flanking hills that looked so lovely
above the old roofs; but made every low…chimneyed house in the town
as smoky as Tophet; Barnet glanced from the windows of the town…
council room for lack of interest in what was proceeding within。
Several members of the corporation were present; but there was not
much business doing; and in a few minutes Downe came leisurely
across to him; saying that he seldom saw Barnet now。
Barnet owned that he was not often present。
Downe looked at the crimson curtain which hung down beside the
panes; reflecting its hot hues into their faces; and then out of the
window。 At that moment there passed along the street a tall
commanding lady; in whom the solicitor recognized Barnet's wife。
Barnet had done the same thing; and