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it by myself。 I would rather not answer now。'
She reserved her answer till the next day； and came into his room
with a solemn face。 'I cannot do what you wished！' she said
passionately。 'It is too much to ask。 My whole life ha' been
passed in this way。' Her words and manner showed that before
entering she had been struggling with herself in private； and that
the contention had been strong。
Stockdale turned pale； but he spoke quietly。 'Then； Lizzy； we must
part。 I cannot go against my principles in this matter； and I
cannot make my profession a mockery。 You know how I love you； and
what I would do for you； but this one thing I cannot do。'
'But why should you belong to that profession？' she burst out。 'I
have got this large house； why can't you marry me； and live here
with us； and not be a Methodist preacher any more？ I assure you；
Richard； it is no harm； and I wish you could only see it as I do！
We only carry it on in winter： in summer it is never done at all。
It stirs up one's dull life at this time o' the year； and gives
excitement； which I have got so used to now that I should hardly
know how to do 'ithout it。 At nights； when the wind blows； instead
of being dull and stupid； and not noticing whether it do blow or
not； your mind is afield； even if you are not afield yourself； and
you are wondering how the chaps are getting on； and you walk up and
down the room； and look out o' window； and then you go out yourself；
and know your way about as well by night as by day； and have
hairbreadth escapes from old Latimer and his fellows； who are too
stupid ever to really frighten us； and only make us a bit nimble。'
'He frightened you a little last night； anyhow： and I would advise
you to drop it before it is worse。'
She shook her head。 'No； I must go on as I have begun。 I was born
to it。 It is in my blood； and I can't be cured。 O； Richard； you
cannot think what a hard thing you have asked； and how sharp you try
me when you put me between this and my love for 'ee！'
Stockdale was leaning with his elbow on the mantelpiece； his hands
over his eyes。 'We ought never to have met； Lizzy；' he said。 'It
was an ill day for us！ I little thought there was anything so
hopeless and impossible in our engagement as this。 Well； it is too
late now to regret consequences in this way。 I have had the
happiness of seeing you and knowing you at least。'
'You dissent from Church； and I dissent from State；' she said。 'And
I don't see why we are not well matched。'
He smiled sadly； while Lizzy remained looking down； her eyes
beginning to overflow。
That was an unhappy evening for both of them； and the days that
followed were unhappy days。 Both she and he went mechanically about
their employments； and his depression was marked in the village by
more than one of his denomination with whom he came in contact。 But
Lizzy； who passed her days indoors； was unsuspected of being the
cause： for it was generally understood that a quiet engagement to
marry existed between her and her cousin Owlett； and had existed for
some time。
Thus uncertainly the week passed on； till one morning Stockdale said
to her： 'I have had a letter； Lizzy。 I must call you that till I
am gone。'
'Gone？' said she blankly。
'Yes；' he said。 'I am going from this place。 I felt it would be
better for us both that I should not stay after what has happened。
In fact； I couldn't stay here； and look on you from day to day；
without becoming weak and faltering in my course。 I have just heard
of an arrangement by which the other minister can arrive here in
about a week； and let me go elsewhere。'
That he had all this time continued so firmly fixed in his
resolution came upon her as a grievous surprise。 'You never loved
me！' she said bitterly。
'I might say the same；' he returned； 'but I will not。 Grant me one
favour。 Come and hear my last sermon on the day before I go。'
Lizzy； who was a church…goer on Sunday mornings； frequently attended
Stockdale's chapel in the evening with the rest of the double…
minded； and she promised。
It became known that Stockdale was going to leave； and a good many
people outside his own sect were sorry to hear it。 The intervening
days flew rapidly away； and on the evening of the Sunday which
preceded the morning of his departure Lizzy sat in the chapel to
hear him for the last time。 The little building was full to
overflowing； and he took up the subject which all had expected； that
of the contraband trade so extensively practised among them。 His
hearers； in laying his words to their own hearts； did not perceive
that they were most particularly directed against Lizzy； till the
sermon waxed warm； and Stockdale nearly broke down with emotion。 In
truth his own earnestness； and her sad eyes looking up at him； were
too much for the young man's equanimity。 He hardly knew how he
ended。 He saw Lizzy； as through a mist； turn and go away with the
rest of the congregation； and shortly afterwards followed her home。
She invited him to supper； and they sat down alone； her mother
having； as was usual with her on Sunday nights； gone to bed early。
'We will part friends； won't we？' said Lizzy； with forced gaiety；
and never alluding to the sermon： a reticence which rather
disappointed him。
'We will；' he said； with a forced smile on his part； and they sat
down。
It was the first meal that they had ever shared together in their
lives； and probably the last that they would so share。 When it was
over； and the indifferent conversation could no longer be continued；
he arose and took her hand。 'Lizzy；' he said； 'do you say we must
partdo you？'
'You do；' she said solemnly。 'I can say no more。'
'Nor I；' said he。 'If that is your answer； good…bye！'
Stockdale bent over her and kissed her； and she involuntarily
returned his kiss。 'I shall go early；' he said hurriedly。 'I shall
not see you again。'
And he did leave early。 He fancied； when stepping forth into the
grey morning light； to mount the van which was to carry him away；
that he saw a face between the parted curtains of Lizzy's window；
but the light was faint； and the panes glistened with wet； so he
could not be sure。 Stockdale mounted the vehicle； and was gone； and
on the following Sunday the new minister preached in the chapel of
the Moynton Wesleyans。
One day； two years after the parting； Stockdale； now settled in a
midland town； came into Nether…Moynton by carrier in the original
way。 Jogging along in the van that afternoon he had put questions
to the driver； and the answers that he received interested the
minister deeply。 The result of them was that he went without the
least hesitation to the door of his former lodging。 It was about
six o'clock in the evening； and the same time of year as when he had
left； now； too； the ground was damp and glistening； the west was
bright； and Lizzy's snowdrops were raising their heads in the border
under the wall。
Lizzy must have caught sight of him from the window； for by the time
that he reached the door she was there holding it open： and then；
as if she had not sufficiently considered her act of coming out； she
drew herself back； saying with some constraint； 'Mr。 Stockdale！'
'You knew it was；' said Stockdale； taking her hand。 'I wrote to say
I should call。'
'Yes； but you did not say when；' she answered。
'I did not。 I was not quite sure when my business would lead me to
these parts。'
'You only came because business brought you near？'
'Well； that is the fact； but I have often thought I should like to
come on purpose to see you 。 。 。 But what's all this that has
happened？ I told you how it would be； Lizzy； and you would not
listen to me。'
'I would not；' she said sadly。 'But I had been brought up to that
life； and it was second nature to me。 However； it is all over now。
The officers have blood…money for taking a man dead or alive； and
the trade is going to nothing。 We were hunted down like rats。'
'Owlett is quite gone； I hear。'
'Yes。 He is in America。 We had a dreadful struggle that last time；
when they tried to take him。 It is a perfect miracle that he lived
through it； and it is a wonder that I was not killed。 I was shot in
the hand。 It was not by aim； the shot was really meant for my
cousin； but I was behind； looking on as usual； and the bullet came
to me。 It bled terribly； but I got home without fainting； and it
healed after a time。 You know how he suffered？'
'No；' said Stockdale。 'I only heard that he just escaped with his
life。'
'He was shot in the back； but a rib turned the ball。 He was badly
hurt。 We would not let him be took。 The men carried him all night
across the meads to Kingsbere； and hid him in a barn； dressing his
wound as well as they could； till he was so far recovered as to be
able to get about。 He had gied up his mill for some time； and at
last he got to Bristol； and took a passage to America； and he's
settled in Wisconsin。'
'What do you think of smuggling now？' said the minister gravely。
'I own that we were wrong；' said she。 'But I have suffered for it。
I am very poor now； and my mother has been dead these twelve months
。 。 。