charlotte temple-第20章

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satisfaction；　than　thousands　of　those　who　bask　in　the　sunshine　of　her　favour　unworthily。　But　to　return　to　Mrs。　Crayton：　　this　young　man；　whom　I　shall　distinguish　by　the　name　of　Corydon；　was　the　reigning　favourite　of　her　heart。　He　escorted　her　to　the　play；　danced　with　her　at　every　ball；　and　when　indisposition　prevented　her　going　out；　it　was　he　alone　who　was　permitted　to　chear　the　gloomy　solitude　to　which　she　was　obliged　to　confine　herself。　　Did　she　ever　think　of　poor　Charlotte？　if　she　did；　my　dear　Miss；　it　was　only　to　laugh　at　the　poor　girl's　want　of　spirit　in　consenting　to　be　moped　up　in　the　country；　while　Montraville　was　enjoying　all　the　pleasures　of　a　gay；　dissipated　city。　When　she　heard　of　his　marriage；　she　smiling　said；　so　there's　an　end　of　Madam　Charlotte's　hopes。　　I　wonder　who　will　take　her　now；　or　what　will　become　of　the　little　affected　prude？　But　as　you　have　lead　to　the　subject；　I　think　we　may　as　well　return　to　the　distressed　Charlotte；　and　not；　like　the　unfeeling　Mrs。　Crayton；　shut　our　hearts　to　the　call　of　humanity。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAPTER　XXIX。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　WE　GO　FORWARD　AGAIN。　THE　strength　of　Charlotte's　constitution　combatted　against　her　disorder；　and　she　began　slowly　to　recover；　though　she　still　laboured　under　a　violent　depression　of　spirits：　　how　must　that　depression　be　encreased；　when；　upon　examining　her　little　store；　she　found　herself　reduced　to　one　solitary　guinea；　and　that　during　her　illness　the　attendance　of　an　apothecary　and　nurse；　together　with　many　other　unavoidable　expences；　had　involved　her　in　debt；　from　which　she　saw　no　method　of　extricating　herself。　　As　to　the　faint　hope　which　she　had　entertained　of　hearing　from　and　being　relieved　by　her　parents；　it　now　entirely　forsook　her；　for　it　was　above　four　months　since　her　letter　was　dispatched；　and　she　had　received　no　answer：　she　therefore　imagined　that　her　conduct　had　either　entirely　alienated　their　affection　from　her；　or　broken　their　hearts；　and　she　must　never　more　hope　to　receive　their　blessing。　Never　did　any　human　being　wish　for　death　with　greater　fervency　or　with　juster　cause；　yet　she　had　too　just　a　sense　of　the　duties　of　the　Christian　religion　to　attempt　to　put　a　period　to　her　own　existence。　〃I　have　but　to　be　patient　a　little　longer；〃　she　would　cry；　〃and　nature；　fatigued　and　fainting；　will　throw　off　this　heavy　load　of　mortality；　and　I　shall　be　released　from　all　my　sufferings。　　〃　It　was　one　cold　stormy　day　in　the　latter　end　of　December；　as　Charlotte　sat　by　a　handful　of　fire；　the　low　state　of　her　finances　not　allowing　her　to　replenish　her　stock　of　fuel；　and　prudence　teaching　her　to　be　careful　of　what　she　had；　when　she　was　surprised　by　the　entrance　of　a　farmer's　wife；　who；　without　much　ceremony；　seated　herself；　and　began　this　curious　harangue。　〃I'm　come　to　see　if　as　how　you　can　pay　your　rent；　because　as　how　we　hear　Captain　Montable　is　gone　away；　and　it's　fifty　to　one　if　he　b'ant　killed　afore　he　comes　back　again；　an　then；　Miss；　or　Ma'am；　or　whatever　you　may　be；　as　I　was　saying　to　my　husband；　where　are　we　to　look　for　our　money。　　〃　This　was　a　stroke　altogether　unexpected　by　Charlotte：　　she　knew　so　little　of　the　ways　of　the　world　that　she　had　never　bestowed　a　thought　on　the　payment　for　the　rent　of　the　house；　she　knew　indeed　that　she　owed　a　good　deal；　but　this　was　never　reckoned　among　the　others：　she　was　thunder…struck；　she　hardly　knew　what　answer　to　make；　yet　it　was　absolutely　necessary　that　she　should　say　something；　and　judging　of　the　gentleness　of　every　female　disposition　by　her　own；　she　thought　the　best　way　to　interest　the　woman　in　her　favour　would　be　to　tell　her　candidly　to　what　a　situation　she　was　reduced；　and　how　little　probability　there　was　of　her　ever　paying　any　body。　Alas　poor　Charlotte；　how　confined　was　her　knowledge　of　human　nature；　or　she　would　have　been　convinced　that　the　only　way　to　insure　the　friendship　and　assistance　of　your　surrounding　acquaintance　is　to　convince　them　you　do　not　require　it；　for　when　once　the　petrifying　aspect　of　distress　and　penury　appear；　whose　qualities；　like　Medusa's　head；　can　change　to　stone　all　that　look　upon　it；　when　once　this　Gorgon　claims　acquaintance　with　us；　the　phantom　of　friendship；　that　before　courted　our　notice；　will　vanish　into　unsubstantial　air；　and　the　whole　world　before　us　appear　a　barren　waste。　Pardon　me；　ye　dear　spirits　of　benevolence；　whose　benign　smiles　and　chearful…giving　hand　have　strewed　sweet　flowers　on　many　a　thorny　path　through　which　my　wayward　fate　forced　me　to　pass；　think　not；　that；　in　condemning　the　unfeeling　texture　of　the　human　heart；　I　forget　the　spring　from　whence　flow　an　the　comforts　I　enjoy：　　oh　no！　I　look　up　to　you　as　to　bright　constellations；　gathering　new　splendours　from　the　surrounding　darkness；　but　ah！　whilst　I　adore　the　benignant　rays　that　cheared　and　illumined　my　heart；　I　mourn　that　their　influence　cannot　extend　to　all　the　sons　and　daughters　of　affliction。　〃Indeed；　Madam；〃　said　poor　Charlotte　in　a　tremulous　accent；　〃I　am　at　a　loss　what　to　do。　　Montraville　placed　me　here；　and　promised　to　defray　all　my　expenses：　　but　he　has　forgot　his　promise；　he　has　forsaken　me；　and　I　have　no　friend　who　has　either　power　or　will　to　relieve　me。　Let　me　hope；　as　you　see　my　unhappy　situation；　your　charity〃　〃Charity；〃　cried　the　woman　impatiently　interrupting　her；　〃charity　indeed：　why；　Mistress；　charity　begins　at　home；　and　I　have　seven　children　at　home；　HONEST；　LAWFUL　children；　and　it　is　my　duty　to　keep　them；　and　do　you　think　I　will　give　away　my　property　to　a　nasty；　impudent　hussey；　to　maintain　her　and　her　bastard；　an　I　was　saying　to　my　husband　the　other　day　what　will　this　world　come　to；　honest　women　are　nothing　now…a…days；　while　the　harlotings　are　set　up　for　fine　ladies；　and　look　upon　us　no　more　nor　the　dirt　they　walk　upon：　but　let　me　tell　you；　my　fine　spoken　Ma'am；　I　must　have　my　money；　so　seeing　as　how　you　can't　pay　it；　why　you　must　troop；　and　leave　all　your　fine　gimcracks　and　fal　der　ralls　behind　you。　I　don't　ask　for　no　more　nor　my　right；　and　nobody　shall　dare　for　to　go　for　to　hinder　me　of　it。〃　〃Oh　heavens；〃　cried　Charlotte；　clasping　her　hands；　'what　will　become　of　me？〃　〃Come　on　ye！〃　retorted　the　unfeeling　wretch：　　〃why　go　to　the　barracks　and　work　for　a　morsel　of　bread；　wash　and　mend　the　soldiers　cloaths；　an　cook　their　victuals；　and　not　expect　to　live　in　idleness　on　honest　people's　means。　　Oh　I　wish　I　could　see　the　day　when　all　such　cattle　were　obliged　to　work　hard　and　eat　little；　it's　only　what　they　deserve。　　〃　〃Father　of　mercy；〃　cried　Charlotte；　〃I　acknowledge　thy　correction　just；　but　prepare　me；　I　beseech　thee；　for　the　portion　of　misery　thou　may'st　please　to　lay　upon　me。〃　〃Well；〃　said　the　woman；　〃I　shall　go　an　tell　my　husband　as　how　you　can't　pay；　and　so　d'ye　see；　Ma'am；　get　ready　to　be　packing　away　this　very　night；　for　you　should　not　stay　another　night　in　this　house；　though　I　was　sure　you　would　lay　in　the　street。'　Charlotte　bowed　her　head　in　silence；　but　the　anguish　of　her　heart　was　too　great　to　permit　her　to　articulate　a　single　word。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAPTER　XXX。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　And　what　is　friendship　but　a　name；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　A　charm　that　lulls　to　sleep；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　A　shade　that　follows　wealth　and　fame；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　But　leaves　the　wretch　to　weep。　WHEN　Charlotte　was　left　to　herself；　she　began　to　think　what　course　she　must　take；　or　to　whom　she　could　apply；　to　prevent　her　perishing　for　want；　or　perhaps　that　very　night　falling　a　victim　to　the　inclemency　of　the　season。　　After　many　perplexed　thoughts；　she　at　last　determined　to　set　out　for　New…York；　and　enquire　out　Mrs。　Crayton；　from　whom　she　had　no　doubt　but　she　should　obtain　immediate　relief　as　soon　as　her　distress　was　made　known；　she　had　no　sooner　formed　this　resolution　than　she　resolved　immediately　to　put　it　in　execution：　she　therefore　wrote　the　following　little　billet　to　Mrs。　Crayton；　thinking　if　she　should　have　company　with　her　it　would　be　better　to　send　it　in　than　to　request　to　see　her。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　TO　MRS。　CRAYTON。　〃MADAM；　〃When　we　left　our　native　land；　that　dear；　happy　land　which　now　contains　all　that　is　dear　to　the　wretched　Charlotte；　our　prospects　were　the　same；　we　both；　pardon　me；　Madam；　if　I　say；　we　both　too　easily　followed　the　impulse　of　our　treacherous　hearts；　and　trusted　our　happiness　on　a　tempestuous　ocean；　where　mine　has　been　wrecked　and　lost　for　ever；　you　have　been　more　fortunateyou　are　united　to　a　man　of　honour　and　humanity；　united　by　the　most　sacred　ties；　respected；　esteemed；　and　admired；　and　surrounded　by　innumerable　blessings　of　which　I　am　bereaved；　enjoying　those　pleasures　which　have　fled　my　bosom　never　to　return；　alas！　sorrow　and　deep　regret　have　taken　their　place。　Behold　me；　Madam；　a　poor　forsaken　wanderer；　who　has　no　where　to　lay　her　weary　head；　wherewith　to　supply　the　wants　of　nature；　or　to　shield　her　from　the　inclemency　of　the　weather。　　To　you　I　sue；　to　you　I　look　for　pity　and　relief。　　I　ask　not　to　be　received　as　an　intimate　or　an　equal；　only　for　charity's　sweet　sake　receive　me　into　your　hospitable　mansion；　allot　me　the　meanest　apartment　in　it；　and　let　me　breath　out　my　soul　in　prayers　for　your　happiness；　I　cannot；　I　feel　I　cannot　long　bear　up　under　the　accumulated　woes　that　pour　in　upon　me；　but　oh！　my　dear　Madam；　for　the　love　of　heaven　suffer　me　not　to