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n her person certain singularities that will appear beautiful or uncomely according to the contradictory opinions of men and the varying judgments of the world。 She has on her forehead two small horns which she conceals in the abundant folds of her golden hair； one of her eyes is blue and one is black； her neck is bent towards the left side； and； like Alexander of Macedon； she has six fingers on her right hand； and a stain like a little monkey's head upon her skin。
〃Her gait is majestic and her manner affable。 She is magnificent in her expenses； but she is not always able to rule desire by reason。
〃One day； having noticed in the palace stables； a young groom of great beauty； she immediately fell violently in love with him； and entrusted to him the command of her armies。 What one must praise unreservedly in this great queen is the abundance of gifts that she makes to the churches； monasteries； and chapels in her kingdom； and especially to the holy house of Beargarden； where； by the grace of the Lord； I made my profession in my fourteenth year。 She has founded masses for the repose of her soul in such great numbers that every priest in the Penguin Church is； so to speak； transformed into a taper lighted in the sight of heaven to draw down the divine mercy upon the august Crucha。〃
From these lines and from some others with which have enriched my text the reader can judge of the historical and literary value of the 〃Gesta Penguinorum。〃 Unhappily； that chronicle suddenly comes suddenly to an end at third year of Draco the Simple； the successor of Gun the Weak。 Having reached that point of my history； I deplore the loss of an agreeable and trustworthy guide。
During the two centuries that followed； the Penguins remained plunged in blood…stained disorder。 All the arts perished。 In the midst of the general ignorance； the monks in the shadow of their cloister devoted themselves to study； and copied the Holy Scriptures with indefatigable zeal。 As parchment was scarce；they scraped the writing off old manuscripts in order to transcribe upon them the divine word。 Thus throughout the breadth of Penguinia Bibles blossomed forth like roses on a bush。
A monk of the order of St。 Benedict； Ermold the Penguin； had himself alone defaced four thousand Greek and Latin manuscripts so as to copy out the Gospel of St。 John four thousand times。 Thus the masterpieces of ancient poetry and eloquence were destroyed in great numbers。 Historians are unanimous in recognising that the Penguin convents were the refuge of learning during the Middle Ages。
Unending wars between the Penguins and the Porpoises filled the close of this period。 It is extremely difficult to know the truth concerning these wars； not because accounts are wanting； but because there are so many of them。 The Porpoise Chronicles contradict the Penguin Chronicles at every point。 And； moreover； the Penguins contradict each other as well as the Porpoises。 I have discovered two chronicles that are in agreement； but one has copied from the other。 A single fact is certain； namely； that massacres； rapes； conflagrations； and plunder succeeded one another without interruption。
Under the unhappy prince Bosco IX。 the kingdom was at the verge of ruin。 On the news that the Porpoise fleet； composed of six hundred great ships； was in sight of Alca； the bishop ordered a solemn procession。 The cathedral chapter； the elected magistrates； the members of Parliament； and the clerics of the University entered the Cathedral and； taking up St。 Orberosia's shrine； led it in procession through the town； followed by the entire people singing hymns。 The holy patron of Penguinia was not invoked in vain。 Nevertheless； the Porpoises besieged the town both by land and sea； took it by assault； and for three days and three nights killed； plundered； violated； and burned； with all the indifference that habit produces。
Our astonishment cannot be too great at the fact that； during those iron ages； the faith was preserved intact among the Penguins。 The splendour of the truth in those times illumined all souls that had not been corrupted by sophisms。 This is the explanation of the unity of belief。 A constant practice of the Church doubtless contributed also to maintain this happy communion of the faithfulevery Penguin who thought differently from the others was immediately burned at the stake。
IV。 LETTERS： JOHANNES TALPA
During the minority of King Gun； Johannes Talpa； in the monastery of Beargarden； where at the age of fourteen he had made his profession and from which he never departed for a single day throughout his life； composed his celebrated Latin chronicle in twelve books called 〃De Gestis Penguinorum。〃
The monastery of Beargarden lifts its high walls on the summit of an inaccessible peak。 One sees around it only the blue tops of mountains； divided by the clouds。
When he began to write his 〃Gesta Penguinorum；〃 Johannes Talpa was already old。 The good monk has taken care to tell us this in his book： 〃My head has long since lost；〃 he says； 〃its adornment of fair hair； and my scalp resembles those convex mirrors of metal which the Penguin ladies consult with so much care and zeal。 My stature； naturally small； has with years become diminished and bent。 My white beard gives warmth to my breast。〃
With a charming simplicity； Talpa informs us of certain circumstances in his life and some features in his character。 〃Descended；〃 he tells us； 〃from a noble family； and destined from childhood for the ecclesiastical state； I was taught grammar and music。 I learnt to read under the guidance of a master who was called Amicus； and who would have been better named Inimicus。 As I did not easily attain to a knowledge of my letters； he beat me violently with rods so that I can say that he printed the alphabet in strokes upon my back。〃
In another passage Talpa confesses his natural inclination towards pleasure。 These are his expressive words： 〃In my youth the ardour of my senses was such that in the shadow of the woods I experienced a sensation of boiling in a pot rather than of breathing the fresh air。 I fled from women； but in vain； for every object recalled them to me。〃
While he was writing his chronicle； a terrible war； at once foreign and domestic； laid waste the Penguin land。 The soldiers of Crucha came to defend the monastery of Beargarden against the Penguin barbarians and established themselves strongly within its walls。 In order to render it impregnable they pierced loop…holes through the walls and they took the lead off the church roof to make balls for their slings。 At night they lighted huge fires in the courts and cloisters and on them they roasted whole oxen which they spitted upon the ancient pine…trees of the mountain。 Sitting around the flames； amid smoke filled with a mingled odour of resin and fat； they broached huge casks of wine and beer。 Their songs； their blasphemies； and the noise of their quarrels drowned the sound of the morning bells。
At last the Porpoises； having crossed the defiles； laid siege to the monastery。 They were warriors from the North； clad in copper armour。 They fastened ladders a hundred and fifty fathoms long to the sides of the cliffs and sometimes in the darkness and storm these broke beneath the weight of men and arms； and bunches of the besiegers were hurled into the ravines and precipices。 A prolonged wail would be heard going down into the darkness； and the assault would begin again。 The Penguins poured streams of burning wax upon their assailants； which made them blaze like torches。 Sixty times the enraged Porpoises attempted to scale the monastery and sixty times they were repulsed。
For six months they had closely invested the monastery； when； on the day of the Epiphany； a shepherd of the valley showed them a hidden path by which they climbed the mountain； penetrated into the vaults of the abbey； ran through the cloisters； the kitchens； the church； the chapter halls； the library； the laundry； the cells； the refectories； and the dormitories； and burned the buildings； killing and violating without distinction of age or sex。 The Penguins； awakened unexpectedly； ran to arms； but in the darkness and alarm they struck at one another； whilst the Porpoises with blows of their axes disputed the sacred vessels； the censers； the candlesticks； dalmatics； reliquaries； golden crosses； and precious stones。
The air was filled with an acrid odour of burnt flesh。 Groans and death…cries arose in the midst of the flames； and on the edges of the crumbling roofs monks ran in thousands like ants； and fell into the valley。 Yet Johannes Talpa kept on writing his Chronicle。 The soldiers of Crucha retreated speedily and filled up all the issues from the monastery with pieces of rock so as to shut up the Porpoises in the burning buildings。 And to crush the enemy beneath the ruin they employed the trunks of old oaks as battering…rams。 The burning timbers fell in with a noise like thunder and the lofty arches of the naves crumbled beneath the shock of these giant trees when moved by six hundred men together。 Soon there was left nothing of the rich and extensive abbey but the cell of Johannes Talpa； which； by a marvellous chance； hung from the ruin of a smoking gable。 The old chr