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northanger abbey-第50章

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by her。  But the knowledge would have been useless here;



it was not called for; neither clemency nor dignity



was put to the trialEleanor brought no message。 



Very little passed between them on meeting; each found



her greatest safety in silence; and few and trivial were



the sentences exchanged while they remained upstairs;



Catherine in busy agitation completing her dress;



and Eleanor with more goodwill than experience intent upon



filling the trunk。  When everything was done they left



the room; Catherine lingering only half a minute behind



her friend to throw a parting glance on every well…known;



cherished object; and went down to the breakfast…parlour;



where breakfast was prepared。  She tried to eat; as well



to save herself from the pain of being urged as to make



her friend comfortable; but she had no appetite; and could



not swallow many mouthfuls。  The contrast between this



and her last breakfast in that room gave her fresh misery;



and strengthened her distaste for everything before her。 



It was not four and twenty hours ago since they had



met there to the same repast; but in circumstances



how different! With what cheerful ease; what happy;



though false; security; had she then looked around her;



enjoying everything present; and fearing little in future;



beyond Henry's going to Woodston for a day! Happy;



happy breakfast! For Henry had been there; Henry had sat



by her and helped her。  These reflections were long



indulged undisturbed by any address from her companion;



who sat as deep in thought as herself; and the appearance



of the carriage was the first thing to startle and recall



them to the present moment。  Catherine's colour rose at the



sight of it; and the indignity with which she was treated;



striking at that instant on her mind with peculiar force;



made her for a short time sensible only of resentment。 



Eleanor seemed now impelled into resolution and speech。 







     〃You must write to me; Catherine;〃 she cried;



〃you must let me hear from you as soon as possible。 



Till I know you to be safe at home; I shall not have



an hour's comfort。  For one letter; at all risks;



all hazards; I must entreat。  Let me have the satisfaction



of knowing that you are safe at Fullerton; and have found



your family well; and then; till I can ask for your



correspondence as I ought to do; I will not expect more。 



Direct to me at Lord Longtown's; and; I must ask it;



under cover to Alice。〃







     〃No; Eleanor; if you are not allowed to receive



a letter from me; I am sure I had better not write。 



There can be no doubt of my getting home safe。〃







     Eleanor only replied; 〃I cannot wonder at your feelings。 



I will not importune you。  I will trust to your own kindness



of heart when I am at a distance from you。〃 But this;



with the look of sorrow accompanying it; was enough to melt



Catherine's pride in a moment; and she instantly said;



〃Oh; Eleanor; I will write to you indeed。〃







     There was yet another point which Miss Tilney was anxious



to settle; though somewhat embarrassed in speaking of。 



It had occurred to her that after so long an absence from home;



Catherine might not be provided with money enough for the



expenses of her journey; and; upon suggesting it to her



with most affectionate offers of accommodation; it proved



to be exactly the case。  Catherine had never thought on



the subject till that moment; but; upon examining her purse;



was convinced that but for this kindness of her friend;



she might have been turned from the house without even



the means of getting home; and the distress in which she



must have been thereby involved filling the minds of both;



scarcely another word was said by either during the time



of their remaining together。  Short; however; was that time。 



The carriage was soon announced to be ready; and Catherine;



instantly rising; a long and affectionate embrace supplied



the place of language in bidding each other adieu;



and; as they entered the hall; unable to leave the house



without some mention of one whose name had not yet been



spoken by either; she paused a moment; and with quivering



lips just made it intelligible that she left 〃her kind



remembrance for her absent friend。〃 But with this



approach to his name ended all possibility of restraining



her feelings; and; hiding her face as well as she could



with her handkerchief; she darted across the hall;



jumped into the chaise; and in a moment was driven from the door。 















CHAPTER 29











     Catherine was too wretched to be fearful。  The journey



in itself had no terrors for her; and she began it without



either dreading its length or feeling its solitariness。 



Leaning back in one comer of the carriage; in a violent



burst of tears; she was conveyed some miles beyond



the walls of the abbey before she raised her head;



and the highest point of ground within the park was almost



closed from her view before she was capable of turning



her eyes towards it。  Unfortunately; the road she now



travelled was the same which only ten days ago she had



so happily passed along in going to and from Woodston;



and; for fourteen miles; every bitter feeling was rendered



more severe by the review of objects on which she had



first looked under impressions so different。  Every mile;



as it brought her nearer Woodston; added to her sufferings;



and when within the distance of five; she passed the



turning which led to it; and thought of Henry; so near;



yet so unconscious; her grief and agitation were excessive。 







     The day which she had spent at that place had



been one of the happiest of her life。  It was there;



it was on that day; that the general had made use of such



expressions with regard to Henry and herself; had so spoken



and so looked as to give her the most positive conviction



of his actually wishing their marriage。  Yes; only ten



days ago had he elated her by his pointed regardhad he



even confused her by his too significant reference! And



nowwhat had she done; or what had she omitted to do;



to merit such a change?







     The only offence against him of which she could accuse



herself had been such as was scarcely possible to reach



his knowledge。  Henry and her own heart only were privy



to the shocking suspicions which she had so idly entertained;



and equally safe did she believe her secret with each。 



Designedly; at least; Henry could not have betrayed her。 



If; indeed; by any strange mischance his father should have



gained intelligence of what she had dared to think and look for;



of her causeless fancies and injurious examinations;



she could not wonder at any degree of his indignation。 



If aware of her having viewed him as a murderer; she could



not wonder at his even turning her from his house。 



But a justification so full of torture to herself;



she trusted; would not be in his power。 







     Anxious as were all her conjectures on this point;



it was not; however; the one on which she dwelt most。 



There was a thought yet nearer; a more prevailing;



more impetuous concern。  How Henry would think; and feel;



and look; when he returned on the morrow to Northanger



and heard of her being gone; was a question of force and



interest to rise over every other; to be never ceasing;



alternately irritating and soothing; it sometimes suggested



the dread of his calm acquiescence; and at others was answered



by the sweetest confidence in his regret and resentment。 



To the general; of course; he would not dare to speak;



but to Eleanorwhat might he not say to Eleanor about



her?







     In this unceasing recurrence of doubts and inquiries;



on any one article of which her mind was incapable of more



than momentary repose; the hours passed away; and her journey



advanced much faster than she looked for。  The pressing



anxieties of thought; which prevented her from noticing



anything before her; when once beyond the neighbourhood



of Woodston; saved her at the same time from watching



her progress; and though no object on the road could engage



a moment's attention; she found no stage of it tedious。 



From this; she was preserved too by another cause;



by feeling no eagerness for her journey's conclusion;



for to return in such a manner to Fullerton was almost



to destroy the pleasure of a meeting with those she



loved best; even after an absence
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