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to destroy the pleasure of a meeting with those she
loved best； even after an absence such as hersan
eleven weeks' absence。 What had she to say that would
not humble herself and pain her family； that would not
increase her own grief by the confession of it； extend an
useless resentment； and perhaps involve the innocent
with the guilty in undistinguishing ill will？ She could
never do justice to Henry and Eleanor's merit； she felt it
too strongly for expression； and should a dislike be taken
against them； should they be thought of unfavourably；
on their father's account； it would cut her to the heart。
With these feelings； she rather dreaded than sought
for the first view of that well…known spire which would
announce her within twenty miles of home。 Salisbury she
had known to be her point on leaving Northanger； but after
the first stage she had been indebted to the post…masters
for the names of the places which were then to conduct
her to it； so great had been her ignorance of her route。
She met with nothing； however； to distress or frighten her。
Her youth； civil manners； and liberal pay procured her all
the attention that a traveller like herself could require；
and stopping only to change horses； she travelled
on for about eleven hours without accident or alarm；
and between six and seven o'clock in the evening found
herself entering Fullerton。
A heroine returning； at the close of her career；
to her native village； in all the triumph of recovered
reputation； and all the dignity of a countess； with a long
train of noble relations in their several phaetons；
and three waiting…maids in a travelling chaise and four；
behind her； is an event on which the pen of the contriver
may well delight to dwell； it gives credit to every
conclusion； and the author must share in the glory she
so liberally bestows。 But my affair is widely different；
I bring back my heroine to her home in solitude and disgrace；
and no sweet elation of spirits can lead me into minuteness。
A heroine in a hack post…chaise is such a blow upon sentiment；
as no attempt at grandeur or pathos can withstand。
Swiftly therefore shall her post…boy drive through
the village； amid the gaze of Sunday groups； and speedy
shall be her descent from it。
But； whatever might be the distress of Catherine's mind；
as she thus advanced towards the parsonage； and whatever
the humiliation of her biographer in relating it；
she was preparing enjoyment of no everyday nature
for those to whom she went； first； in the appearance
of her carriageand secondly； in herself。 The chaise
of a traveller being a rare sight in Fullerton； the whole
family were immediately at the window； and to have it
stop at the sweep…gate was a pleasure to brighten every
eye and occupy every fancya pleasure quite unlooked
for by all but the two youngest children； a boy and girl
of six and four years old； who expected a brother or
sister in every carriage。 Happy the glance that first
distinguished Catherine！ Happy the voice that proclaimed
the discovery！ But whether such happiness were the lawful
property of George or Harriet could never be exactly understood。
Her father； mother； Sarah； George； and Harriet；
all assembled at the door to welcome her with affectionate
eagerness； was a sight to awaken the best feelings
of Catherine's heart； and in the embrace of each； as she
stepped from the carriage； she found herself soothed beyond
anything that she had believed possible。 So surrounded；
so caressed； she was even happy！ In the joyfulness
of family love everything for a short time was subdued；
and the pleasure of seeing her； leaving them at first
little leisure for calm curiosity； they were all seated
round the tea…table； which Mrs。 Morland had hurried
for the comfort of the poor traveller； whose pale and
jaded looks soon caught her notice； before any inquiry
so direct as to demand a positive answer was addressed to her。
Reluctantly； and with much hesitation； did she then
begin what might perhaps； at the end of half an hour；
be termed； by the courtesy of her hearers； an explanation；
but scarcely； within that time； could they at all discover
the cause； or collect the particulars； of her sudden return。
They were far from being an irritable race； far from
any quickness in catching； or bitterness in resenting；
affronts： but here； when the whole was unfolded；
was an insult not to be overlooked； nor； for the first
half hour； to be easily pardoned。 Without suffering any
romantic alarm； in the consideration of their daughter's
long and lonely journey； Mr。 and Mrs。 Morland could
not but feel that it might have been productive of much
unpleasantness to her； that it was what they could never
have voluntarily suffered； and that； in forcing her on such
a measure； General Tilney had acted neither honourably
nor feelinglyneither as a gentleman nor as a parent。
Why he had done it； what could have provoked him to such
a breach of hospitality； and so suddenly turned all his
partial regard for their daughter into actual ill will；
was a matter which they were at least as far from
divining as Catherine herself； but it did not oppress
them by any means so long； and； after a due course
of useless conjecture； that 〃it was a strange business；
and that he must be a very strange man；〃 grew enough
for all their indignation and wonder； though Sarah indeed
still indulged in the sweets of incomprehensibility；
exclaiming and conjecturing with youthful ardour。 〃My dear；
you give yourself a great deal of needless trouble；〃
said her mother at last； 〃depend upon it； it is something
not at all worth understanding。〃
〃I can allow for his wishing Catherine away；
when he recollected this engagement；〃 said Sarah；
〃but why not do it civilly？〃
〃I am sorry for the young people；〃 returned Mrs。 Morland；
〃they must have a sad time of it； but as for anything else；
it is no matter now； Catherine is safe at home；
and our comfort does not depend upon General Tilney。〃
Catherine sighed。 〃Well；〃 continued her philosophic mother；
〃I am glad I did not know of your journey at the time；
but now it is an over； perhaps there is no great harm done。
It is always good for young people to be put upon
exerting themselves； and you know； my dear Catherine；
you always were a sad little shatter…brained creature；
but now you must have been forced to have your wits about you；
with so much changing of chaises and so forth； and I hope
it will appear that you have not left anything behind you
in any of the pockets。〃
Catherine hoped so too； and tried to feel an interest
in her own amendment； but her spirits were quite worn down；
and； to be silent and alone becoming soon her only wish；
she readily agreed to her mother's next counsel of going early
to bed。 Her parents； seeing nothing in her ill looks and
agitation but the natural consequence of mortified feelings；
and of the unusual exertion and fatigue of such a journey；
parted from her without any doubt of their being soon
slept away； and though； when they all met the next morning；
her recovery was not equal to their hopes； they were still
perfectly unsuspicious of there being any deeper evil。
They never once thought of her heart； which； for the
parents of a young lady of seventeen； just returned
from her first excursion from home； was odd enough！
As soon as breakfast was over； she sat down to fulfil
her promise to Miss Tilney； whose trust in the effect
of time and distance on her friend's disposition was
already justified； for already did Catherine reproach
herself with having parted from Eleanor coldly； with having
never enough valued her merits or kindness； and never
enough commiserated her for what she had been yesterday
left to endure。 The strength of these feelings； however；
was far from assisting her pen； and never had it been
harder for her to write than in addressing Eleanor Tilney。
To compose a letter which might at once do justice
to her sentiments and her situation； convey gratitude
without servile regret； be guarded without coldness；
and honest without resentmenta letter which Eleanor
might not be pained by the perusal ofand； above all；
which she might not blush herself； if Henry should chance