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〃im used to that；〃 she replied； somewhat bitterly。
i dont dare tell peter。 maybe later on； but he and i need to discuss so many other things first。
mother slapped me last night； which i deserved。 i mustnt carry my indifference and contempt for her too far。 in spite of everything； i should try once again to be friendly and keep my remarks to myself！
even pim isnt as nice as he used to be。 hes been trying not to treat me like a child； but now hes much too cold。 well just have to see what es of it！ hes warned me that if i dont do my algebra； i wont get any tutoring after the war。 i could simply wait and see what happens； but id like to start again； provided i get a new book。
thats enough for now。 i do nothing but gaze at peter； and im filled to overflowing！
yours； anne
m。 frank
evidence of margots goodness。 i received this today； march 20； 1944：
anne； yesterday when i said i wasnt jeal… ous of you； i wasnt being entirely honest。
the situation is this： im not jealous of either you or peter。 im just sorry i havent found anyone willi whom to share my thoughts and feelings； and im not likely to in the near future。 but thats why i wish； from the bottom of my heart； that you will both be able to place your trust in each other。 youre already missing out on so much here； things other people take for granted。
on the other hand； im certain id never have gotten as far with peter； because i think id need to feel very close to a person before i could share my thoughts。 id want to have the feeling that he understood me through and through； even if i didnt say much。
for this reason it would have to be someone i felt was intellectually superior to me； and that isnt the case with peter。 but i can imagine your feeling close to him。
so theres no need for you to reproach yourself because you think you te taking something i was entitled to； nothing could be further from the truth。 you and peter have everything to gain by your friendship。
my answer：
dearest margot； your letter was extremely kind； but i still dont feel pletely happy about the situation； and i dont think i ever will。
at the moment； peter and i dont trust each other as much as you seem to think。 its just that when youre standing beside an open window at twthght； you can say more to each other than in bright sunshine。 its also easier to whisper your feelings than to shout them from the rooftops。 i think youve begun to feel a kind of sisterly affection for peter and would like to help him； just as much as i would。 perhaps youll be able to do that someday； though thats not the kind of trust we have in mind。 i believe that trust has to corne from both sides； i also think thats the reason why father and i have never really grown so close。 but lets not talk about it anymore。 if theres anything you still want to discuss； please write； because its easier for me to say what i mean as on paper than face…to…face。 you know how le much i admire you； and only
hope that some of your goodness and fathers goodness will rub off on me； because； in that sense； you two are a lot alike。
yours； anne
wednesday； march 22；1944
dearest kitty；
i received this letter last night from margot：
dear anne； after your letter of yesterday i have the unpleasant feeling that your conscience bothers you whenever you go to peters to work or talk； theres really no reason for that。 in my heart； i know theres someone who deserves t my trust （as i do his）； and i wouldnt be able to tolerate peter in his place。
however； as you wrote； i do think of peter as a kind of brother。 。 。 a younger brother； weve been sending out feelers； and a brotherly and sisterly affection mayor may not develop at some later date； but its certainly not reached that stage yet。 so theres no need for you to feel sorry for me。 now that youve found panionship； enjoy it as much as you can。
in the meantime； things are getting more and more wonderful here。 i think； kitty； that true love may be developing in the annex。 all those jokes about marrying peter if we stayed here long enough werent so silly after all。 not that im thinking of marrying him； mind you。 i dont even know what hell be like when he grows up。 or if well even love each other enough to get married。
im sure now that peter loves me too； i just dont know in what way。 i cant figure out if he wants only a good friend； or if hes attracted to me as a girl or as a sister。
when he said i always helped him when his parents were arguing； i was tremendously happy； it was one step toward making me believe in his friendship。 i asked him yesterday what hed do if there were a dozen annes who kept popping in to see him。
his answer was： 〃if they were all like you； it wouldnt be so bad。〃 hes extremely hospitable； and i think he really likes to see me。 mean… while； hes been working hard at learning french； even studying in bed until ten…fifteen。
oh； when i think back to saturday night； to our words； our voices； i feel satisfied with myself for the very first time； what i mean is； id still say the same and wouldnt
want to change a thing； the way i usually do。 hes so handsome； whether hes smthng or just sitting still。 hes so sweet and good and beautiful。 i think what surprised him most about me was when he discovered that im not at all the superficial； worldly anne i appear to be； but a dreamer； like he is； with just as many troubles！
last night after the dinner dishes； i waited for him to ask me to stay upstairs。 but nothing happened； i went away。 he came downstairs to tell dussel it was time to listen to the radio and hung around the bathroom for a while； but when dussel took too long； he went back upstairs。 he paced up and down his room and went to bed early。
the entire evening i was so restless i kept going to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face。 i read a bit； daydreamed some more； looked at the clock and waited； waited； waited； all the while listening to his foot… steps。 i went to bed early； exhausted。
tonight i have to take a bath； and tomorrow？
tomorrows so far away！
yours； anne
m。 frank
my answer：
dearest margot； i think the best thing is simply to wait and see what happens。 it cant be much longer before peter and i will have to decide whether to go back to the way we were or do some… thing else。 i dont know how itll turn out； i cant see any farther than the end of my nose。
but im certain of one thing： if peter and i do bee friends； im going to tell him youre also very fond of him and are prepared to help him if he needs you。 you wouldnt want me to； im sure； but i dont care； i dont know what peter thinks of you； but ill ask him when the time es。 its certainly nothing bad on the contrary！ youre wele to join us in the attic； or wherever we are。 you wont be disturbing us； because we have an unspoken agreement to talk only in the evenings when its dark。
keep your spirits up！ im doing my best； though its not always easy。 your time may e sooner than you think。
yours； anne
thursday； march 23； 1944
dearest kitty；
things are more or less back to normal here。 our coupon men have been released from prison； thank goodness！
mieps been back since yesterday； but today it was her husbands turn to take to his bed…chills and fever； the usual flu symptoms。 bep is better； though she still has a cough； and mr。 kleiman will have to stay home for a long time。
yesterday a plane crashed nearby。 the crew was able to parachute out in time。 it crashed on top of a school； but luckily there were no children inside。 there was a small fire and a couple of people were killed。 as the airmen made their descent； the germans sprayed them with bullets。 the amsterdammers who saw it seethed with rage at such a dastardly deed。 we…by which i mean the ladies…were also scared out of our wits。 brrr； i hate the sound of gunfire。
now about myself。
i was with peter yesterday and； somehow； i honestly dont know how； we wound up talking about sex。 id made up my mind a long time ago to ask him a few things。 he knows everything； when i said that margot and i werent very well informed； he was amazed。 i told him a lot about margot and me and mother and father and said that lately i didnt dare ask them anything。 he offered to enlighten me； and i gratefully accepted： he described how contraceptives work； and i asked him very boldly how boys could tell they were grown up。 he had to think about that one； he said hed tell me tonight。 i told him what had happened to jacque； and said that girls are defenseless against strong boys。 〃well； you dont have to be afraid of me；〃 he said。
when i came back that evening； he told me how it is with boys。 slightly embarrassing； but still awfully nice to be able to discuss it with him。 neither he nor i had ever imagined wed be able to talk so openly to a girl or a boy； respectively； about such intimate matters。 i think i know everything now。 he told me a lot about what he called prasentivmitteln* ＇* should be praservativmitteln： prophylactics＇ in german。
that night in the bathroom margot and i were talking about bram and trees； two friends of hers。
this morning i was in for a nasty surprise： after breakfast peter beckoned me upstairs。 〃that was a dirty trick you played on me；〃 he said。 〃i