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barbaricrather they seemed full of some new spiritual
significance。 He suddenly lifted his eyes to Padre Esteban； and；
half rising to his feet； said；
〃Are we alone？〃
〃We are； it is a half…hour yet before mass；〃 said the priest。
〃My story will not last so long；〃 said the young man hurriedly； as
if fearing to change his mind。 〃Hear me； thenit is no crime nor
offense to any one； more than that； it concerns no one but myself
it is of〃
〃A woman；〃 said the priest softly。 〃So！ we will sit down； my son。〃
He lifted his hand with a soothing gesturethe movement of a
physician who has just arrived at an easy diagnosis of certain
uneasy symptoms。 There was also a slight suggestion of an habitual
toleration； as if even the seclusion of Todos Santos had not been
entirely free from the invasion of the primal passion。
Hurlstone waited for an instant； but then went on rapidly。
〃It is of a woman； who has cursed my life； blasted my prospects；
and ruined my youth； a woman who gained my early affection only to
blight and wither it； a woman who should be nearer to me and dearer
than all else； and yet who is further than the uttermost depths of
hell from me in sympathy or feeling； a woman that I should cleave
to； but from whom I have been flying； ready to face shame；
disgrace； oblivion； even that death which alone can part us： for
that woman ismy wife。〃
He stopped； out of breath； with fixed eyes and a rigid mouth。
Father Esteban drew a snuff…box from his pocket； and a large
handkerchief。 After blowing his nose violently； he took a pinch of
snuff； wiped his lip； and replaced the box。
〃A bad habit； my son；〃 he said apologetically； 〃but an old man's
weakness。 Go on。〃
〃I met her first five years agothe wife of another man。 Don't
misjudge me； it was no lawless passion； it was a friendship； I
believed； due to her intellectual qualities as much as to her
womanly fascinations； for I was a young student； lodging in the
same house with her； in an academic town。 Before I ever spoke to
her of love； she had confided to me her own unhappinessthe
uncongeniality of her married life； the harshness； and even
brutality； of her husband。 Even a man less in love than I was
could have seen the truth of thisthe contrast of the coarse；
sensual； and vulgar man with an apparently refined and intelligent
woman； but any one else except myself would have suspected that
such a union was not merely a sacrifice of the woman。 I believed
her。 It was not until long afterwards that I learned that her
marriage had been a condonation of her youthful errors by a
complaisant bridegroom； that her character had been saved by a
union that was a mutual concession。 But I loved her madly； and
when she finally got a divorce from her uncongenial husband； I
believed it less an expression of her love for me than an act of
justice。 I did not know at the time that they had arranged the
divorce together； as they had arranged their marriage； by equal
concessions。
〃I was the only son of a widowed mother； whose instincts were from
the first opposed to my friendship with this woman； and what she
prophetically felt would be its result。 Unfortunately； both she
and my friends were foolish enough to avow their belief that the
divorce was obtained solely with a view of securing me as a
successor； and it was this argument more than any other that
convinced me of my duty to protect her。 Enough； I married； not
only in spite of all oppositionbut BECAUSE of it。
〃My mother would have reconciled herself to the marriage； but my
wife never forgave the opposition； and； by some hellish instinct
divining that her power over me might be weakened by maternal
influence； precipitated a quarrel which forever separated us。 With
the little capital left by my father； divided between my mother and
myself； I took my wife to a western city。 Our small income
speedily dwindled under the debts of her former husband； which she
had assumed to purchase her freedom。 I endeavored to utilize a
good education and some accomplishments in music and the languages
by giving lessons and by contributing to the press。 In this my
wife first made a show of assisting me； but I was not long in
discovering that her intelligence was superficial and shallow； and
that the audacity of expression； which I had believed to be
originality of conviction； was simply shamelessness； and a desire
for notoriety。 She had a facility in writing sentimental poetry；
which had been efficacious in her matrimonial confidences； but
which editors of magazines and newspapers found to be shallow and
insincere。 To my astonishment； she remained unaffected by this； as
she was equally impervious to the slights and sneers that
continually met us in society。 At last the inability to pay one of
her former husband's claims brought to me a threat and an anonymous
letter。 I laid them before her； when a scene ensued which revealed
the blindness of my folly in all its hideous hopelessness： she
accused me of complicity in her divorce； and deception in regard to
my own fortune。 In a speech； whose language was a horrible
revelation of her early habits； she offered to arrange a divorce
from me as she had from her former husband。 She gave as a reason
her preference for another； and her belief that the scandal of a
suit would lend her a certain advertisement and prestige。 It was a
combination of Messalina and Mrs。 Jarley〃
〃Pardon！ I remember not a Madame Jarley；〃 said the priest。
〃Of viciousness and commercial calculation；〃 continued Hurlstone
hurriedly。 〃I don't remember what happened； she swore that I
struck her！ PerhapsGod knows！ But she failed； even before a
western jury； to convict me of cruelty。 The judge that thought me
half insane would not believe me brutal； and her application for
divorce was lost。
〃I need not tell you that the same friends who had opposed my
marriage now came forward to implore me to allow her to break our
chains。 I refused。 I swear to you it was from no lingering love
for her； for her presence drove me mad； it was from no instinct of
revenge or jealousy； for I should have welcomed the man who would
have taken her out of my life and memory。 But I could not bear the
idea of taking her first husband's place in her hideous comedy； I
could not purchase my freedom at that priceat any price。 I was
told that I could get a divorce against HER； and stand forth before
the world untrammeled and unstained。 But I could not stand before
MYSELF in such an attitude。 I knew that the shackles I had
deliberately forged could not be loosened except by death。 I knew
that the stains of her would cling to me and become a part of my
own sin； even as the sea I plunged into yesterday to escape her；
though it has dried upon me； has left its bitter salt behind。
〃When she knew my resolve； she took her revenge by dragging my name
through the successive levels to which she descended。 Under the
plea that the hardly…earned sum I gave to her maintenance apart
from me was not sufficient； she utilized her undoubted beauty and
more doubtful talent in amateur entertainmentsand； finally； on
the stage。 She was openly accompanied by her lover； who acted as
her agent； in the hope of goading me to a divorce。 Suddenly she
disappeared。 I thought she had forgotten me。 I obtained an
honorable position in New York。 One night I entered a theater
devoted to burlesque opera and the exhibition of a popular actress；
known as the Western Thalia； whose beautiful and audaciously draped
figure was the talk of the town。 I recognized my wife in this star
of nudity； more than that； she recognized me。 The next day； in
addition to the usual notice； the real name of the actress was
given in the morning papers； with a sympathizing account of her
romantic and unfortunate marriage。 I renounced my position； and；
taking advantage of an offer from an old friend in California；
resolved to join him secretly there。 My mother had died broken…
hearted； I was alone in the world。 But my wife discovered my
intention； and when I reached Callao； I heard that she had followed
me； by way of the Isthmus of Panama； and that probably she would
anticipate me in Mazatlan； where we were to stop。 The thought of
suicide haunted me during the rest of that horrible voyage； only my
belief that she would make it appear as a tacit confession of my
guilt saved me from that last act of weakness。〃
He stopped and shuddered。 Padre Esteban again laid his hand softly
upon him。
〃It was God who spared you that sacrifice of soul and body；〃 he
said gently。
〃I thought it was God that suggested to me to take the SIMULATION
of that act the means of separating myself from her forever。 When
we neared Mazatlan； I conceived the idea of hiding myself in the
hold of the Excelsior until she had left that port； in the hope
that it would be believ