按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
simplicity and directness of her nature she built upon them her
only hope for the future： 〃HE THAT LOSETH HIS LIFE FOR MY SAKE
SHALL FIND IT！〃
She sighed： 〃I have lost that which is life and more than life
to me； and it was for Christ's sake。 It was because he forgave me
and was kind in that awful moment when my crime was crushing my
soul。 I could not have given up my chance of happiness just because
it was right； but the thought that he asked it and that it was for
his sake； turned the wavering scale； and now I will trust him to
find my life for me again in his own time and way。 As far as this
world is concerned； my life probably will be an increasing care of
father and others； who； like myself； have； or have had 'a worm i'
the bud。' But be the future what it may； I've made my choice and
I shall abide by it。〃
Then she turned to the xiv。 chapter of St。 John； that window of
heaven through which the love of God has shone into so many sad
hearts； and by the time she had read the words〃Peace I leave with
you； my peace I give unto you： not as the world giveth； give I unto
you。 Let not your heart be troubled； neither let it be afraid〃she
found that the peace promiseddeep； quiet； sustainingwas stealing
into her heart as the dawn turns night into day。 Simple…minded
Ida Mayhew believed that Jesus Christ had kept his word； for that
was all faith meant to her。 The rationalist practically maintains
that such effects are without causes； and the materialist explains
that they are physical conditions to be accounted for； by the state
of the nervous system。
Ida went down to supper； and spent the evening with her mother in
the parlor。 She resolved to take up her burden at once； and that
there should be no sentimental sighing in solitude。 Though so
sorely wounded； she meant to keep her place in the ranks and win
from society something better than pity。 Jennie Burton looked at
her wistfully and wonderingly many times； for the impress of the
spiritual experience of that day was on her face； and made it more
than beautiful。 The blending of sadness and serenity； of quiet
strength with calm resolve； was apparent to one possessing Miss
Burton's insight into character。 〃Can it be；〃 she thought； 〃that
Van Berg has discovered her secret； and finds that while he can
give her warm friendship and sympathy in her new life； he cannot
give any more； and has made as much apparent to her by his manner？
I thought I detected a different tendency in his mind before he
went to the city。 Something has occurred between them evidently；
that to poor Ida means giving up a hope that is like life to a
woman。 I wish she would let me talk with her； for I think we could
help each other。 There is certainly a sustaining element in her
faith which I do not possess or understand。 Year after year I
just struggle desperately to keep from sinking into despair； and
the conflict is wearing me out。 How to meet to…morrow with all
its memories I do not know。 I can see from the expression of Miss
Mayhew's face how I ought to meet this anniversary of a day that
once seemed to me like heaven's gate； but all I can do is just cling
to my hope in God； while I cry like a child that has lost itself
and all it loves in a thorny wilderness。 I DO wish we could talk
frankly； but she is utterly unapproachable。〃
Poor Stanton stalked up and down on the piazza without； smoking
furiously and muttering strange oaths。 If the troubles that preyed
upon the two maidens towards whom his heart was so tender； were
outward enemies； the smallest grain of discretion would have kept
them out of his way that night； and if Van Berg had quietly walked
up the piazza steps as Ida was expecting； he would have received
anything but a friendly greeting。 That he did not come was
a disappointment to Ida； and yet deep in her heart there was a
secret satisfaction that he found it so difficult to enter on the
task that duty and honor demanded。 〃I shall see him at breakfast；
however；〃 she thought； 〃and he'll be quiet； sane； and true to his
pledge。〃
But when she did not see him the next morning； and also learned
from Stanton that he had not been in his room during the night；
forebodings of some kind of evil began coming like prowling beasts
of he night that the traveler cannot drive very far away from his
camp…fire。 Could he have broken his promise to her； and have fled
from duty after all？ She felt that she would love him no matter what
he didfor poor Ida could not love on strictly moral principals；
and withdraw her love in offended dignity if the occasion required；
but her purer and womanly instincts made her fear that if he
forfeited her respect her love might degenerate into passion。
Her wish that he would come grew more intense every moment； and
from her heart she pitied Jennie Burton as she saw her turn away
from an almost untasted breakfast； and with a face that was so
full of suffering that she could not disguise it。 〃If he fails
her utterly she'll die；〃 murmured Ida； as she climbed wearily to
her room。 〃Merciful Saviour； forgive me that I tried to tempt him
from her。〃
She watched from her window； but he did not come。 She saw Jennie
Burton hastening away on one of the lonely walks to which she was
given of late。 She saw Stanton drive off rapidly； and when a few
hours later he came back； she went down to meet him； and asked
hesitatingly：
〃Have you seen or heard anything of Mr。 Van Berg？〃
〃Confound him！ no。 I don't see what the deuce he means by his
course！ Burleigh says he has not seen or heard a word from him
since early Monday morning when he started off with his sketch…book；
and Burleigh also says he seemed very glum and out of sorts when
he joked him a little。 I've been to the landing and depot； and no
one has seen him。 Unless Van can give a better account of himself
than I expect； he and I will have a tremendous falling out。〃
〃No； Cousin Ik； you will leave him to himself； for anything like
what you threaten would wound two hearts already sad enough。〃
〃Well； curse it all！ I must do something or other； or I'll explode；
I can't sit by and twirl my thumbs while two such women as you
and Miss Burton are in trouble。 When a man breaks a girl's heart
I feel like breaking his head。〃
〃Merciful heaven！ SeequickMiss Burtonshe's beckoning to
you。〃
Stanton sprang from the piazza at a bound； and was almost instantly
at Jennie Burton's side； who sank into a seat near； and gasped：
〃Do as I bidno wordsa carriage； and a stout man with yourselftake
brandy。 Haste； or Mr。 Van Berg will die。〃
〃O God！ don't say that；〃 Ida sobbed； kneeling at her feet with a
low shuddering cry。
Jennie stooped over and kissed her and said： 〃Courage； Miss Mayhew；
all will yet be well。 Be your brave self； and you can help me save
him。 Tell Mr。 Burleigh to come here。 Have a physician sent for。〃
Ida almost dragged the bewildered host from his office。 Under the
inspiration of hope her motions were lithe and swift as a leopard's。
Within five minutes after Miss Burton's arrival； a carriage containing
herself； Stanton； and two stout men； dashed furiously towards the
ravine in which Van Berg was lying； and a buggy was sent with equal
rapidity for a physician。 Then came to poor Ida the awful suspense
and waiting； which is so often woman's part in life's tragedies。
〃Oh； can it be；〃 she thought； with thrills of dread and horror；
〃that he has attempted my crime？〃 and she grew sick and faint。
Then she resolutely put the suspicion away from her as unjust to
him。 〃Will they never return？ O God； if they should be too late！〃
She stood on the piazza with eyes dilated and strained；
in one direction； caring not what any one saw or surmised； but in
the increasing excitement； as the rumor spread and grew； she was
unnoticed。
At last the carriage appeared； and it was driven so slowly and
carefully that it suggested to the poor girl the deliberate and
mournful pace of a funeral procession； when all need for haste is
past forever； and she sprang down the steps in her intense anxiety；
and took some swift steps before she controlled herself。 Then
pressing her hand on her side； she sank into the seat which Miss
Burton had occupied a little before。
Jennie Burton waved a handkerchiefthat meant life。 〃Thank God！〃
she murmured； and tears of joy rushed into her eyes。 She now saw
that Stanton was supporting Van Berg。 She sprang up the steps
again； broke through the excited and curious throng on the piazza；
and was back with a strong arm…chair from the office by the time
the carriage stopped at the door。
〃That's a sensible girl； Ida；〃 said Stanton； 〃that's just the thing
to carry him in。 Now； Van； rally and do your best a few moments
longer； and you're all right。〃
At the sound of Ida's name he lifted his head and looked around
till he met her