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himself to win her if he couldto be her friend till he could
become far more。 Even granting that she still looked on him merely
as a friend; that did not release him。 It was while possessing
the distinct knowledge that she cherished no warmer feeling that
he had made the pledge; and though she might not be able or willing
to…day or to…morrow; or for years to come; to give up a past love
for his sake; his promise required that he should patiently woo and
wait till she could bury the past with her old lover; and receive;
at his hands; the future that he was in honor bound to keep within
her reach。 Of course; if; after the lapse of years; she assured
him she could not and would not accept of his hand in marriage; he
would be free; but he had scarcely waited weeks before giving his
love to another。 For aught he knew; the hope of happier days; which
he had urged upon her; might be already stealing into her heart。
It gave him but little comfort now to recognize the fact that he
had never loved Jennie Burtonthat he had never known what the
word meant until swept away by the irresistible tide of a passion;
the power of which already appalled him。 To say that he did not
feel like keeping his promise now; or that his feelings had changed;
he knew would be regarded as an excuse beneath contempt; and a week
since he himself would have pronounced the most merciless judgment
against a man in his present position。
Before the vigil of that night was over; he decided that he could
not meet either Ida Mayhew or Jennie Burton again。 He believed
that Ida Mayhew understood him only too well now; and that she
thoroughly despised him。 Indeed; from her manner of passing him;
he doubted whether she willingly would speak to him again; for her
veil had prevented him from seeing the pallor and traces of grief
which she was so anxious to hide。 In his morbidly sensitive state;
it seemed a deliberate but just withdrawal of even her acquaintance。
He felt that the brief dream of Ida Mayhew was over forever; and
that she would indeed keep the priceless kingdom of her heart from
him above all others。 He believed that now; after her conversation
with Stanton; she clearly saw that the absurdly ardent friendship
he had urged upon her was only the incipient stage of a new passion
in a fickle wretch who had dared to trifle with a girl like Jennie
Burtona maiden that; of all others in the world; a man of honor
would shield。
As for Miss Burton herself; now that he realized his situation;
he felt that he could never look her in the face again。 To try to
resume his old relations seemed to be impossible。 He never had and
never could say to her a word that he knew was insincere。 Besides;
he was sure that such an effort would be futile; for she would
detect his hollowness at once; and he feared a glance of scorn from
her blue eyes more than the lightning of heaven。 He resolved to
leave the Lake House on Monday; and from New York write to Miss
Burton the unvarnished truth; assuring her that he knew himself to
be unworthy even to speak to her again。 Then; as soon as he could
complete his preparations; he would go abroad and give himself
wholly to his art。
Having come to these conclusions; he stole by a side entrance like
a guilty shadow to his room and tried to obtain such rest as is
possible to those who are in the hell of mental torment。 After an
early breakfast the following morning; he started for the mountains;
and no wild beast that ever roamed them would have torn him more
pitilessly than did his own outraged sense of honor and manhood。
He returned late in the evening; weary and faint; and with the
furtiveness of an outlaw; again reached his room without meeting
those whom he so wished to avoid。 After the heavy; unrefreshing
sleep of utter exhaustion he once more left the house early; with
his sketch…book in hand to disguise his purpose; for it was his
intention to visit the old garden before he finally left the scenes
to which he had been led by following a mere freak of fancy。 He
learned from one of Mr。 Eltinge's workman that the old gentleman
would be absent from home the entire day; and thus feeling secure
from interruption; he entered the quite; shady place in which had
begun the symphony which was now ending in such harsh discord。
Seeing that he was alone he threw himself into the rustic seat;
and burying his face in his hands; soon became unconscious of the
lapse of time in his painful revery。
Chapter LII。 An Illumined Face。
Ida's expression and manner when she came down to breakfast on
Sabbath morning; reminded Miss Burton of the time when the poor
girl believed that the man she loved; both despised and misjudged
her。 And yet there was a vital difference。 Then she was icy and
defiant; now; with all and more than the old sadness; there was
an aspect of humility and gentleness which had never been seen in
former times; but the woman who should have been so glad to cheer
her and remove all misunderstandings found that she was absolutely
unapproachable except by a sort of social violence of which Jennie
Burton was not capable。 Ida's effortwhich was but partially
successfulto be brave and even cheerful for her father's sake;
caused Mr。 Mayhew more than once to go away by himself in order
to hide his feelings。 Mrs。 Mayhew became more and more mystified
and uncomfortable。 She had enjoyed; in her cold…blooded way; a
tranquil; gossipy week during her daughter's and husband's absence;
but now she felt as if some kind of a domestic convulsion might
occur any moment。
〃I don't see why people have to make such a fuss over life;〃 she
complained。 〃If they would only do what was stylish; proper and
religious they wouldn't have any trouble;〃 and the strong and not
wholly repressed feeling of Ida and her father; of which she was
uncomfortably conscious; seemed to her absurd and uncalled for。
Like the majority of matter…of…fact people; she had no patience
or charity for emotion or deep regret。 〃Do the proper thing under
the circumstances and let that end the matter;〃 was one of her
favorite sayings。
Stanton learned from Mr。 Burleigh that Van Berg had gone on a
mountain tramp; and; when he told Ida; hope whispered to her; 〃If
he loved Jennie Burton or felt that he could return to her side;
he would not do that after his long absence。〃
But when he did not return to supper she began to droop and become
pale like a flower growing in too dense a shade。 She was glad
when the interminable day came to an end and she could shut herself
away from every one; for there are wounds which the heart would
hide even from the eyes of love and sympathy。 It had been arranged
during the day that Mr。 Mayhew should find another place at which
to spend his vacation; and that as early in the week as possible
Stanton should take his wife and daughter thither。
When at last poor Ida slept she dreamt that she was sailing on
a beautiful yacht with silver canvas and crimson flagsthat Van
Berg stood at her side pointing to a lovely island which they were
rapidly approaching。 Then a sudden gust of wind swept her overboard
and she was sinking; sinking till the waters became so cold and
dark that she awoke with a cry of terror。 〃Oh;〃 she sobbed; 〃my
dream is true! my dream is true!〃
Mr。 Mayhew returned to the city in the morning; leaving his daughter
very reluctantly; and Ida; as early as possible; set out again in
the low phaeton to visit Mr。 Eltinge; for never before had she felt
a greater need of his counsel and help。 Tears came into her eyes
when informed of his absence。 〃Everything is against me;〃 she
murmured; but she decided to spend some time in the garden before
she returned。 She had almost reached the rustic seat when a turn
in the walk revealed that it was occupied。 Her first impulse was
to retreat hastily; but observing that Van Berg had not heard her
light step; she hesitated。 Then; his attitude of utter dejection
so won her sympathy that she could not leave him without speaking;
for she remembered how sorely in need she once had been of a
reassuring word。 Moreover; her heart said; 〃Speak to him;〃 hope
cried; 〃Stay;〃 and her temptation to win him if possible; right or
wrong; sprang up with tenfold power and whispered: 〃The man whom
Jennie Burton welcomed so cordially Saturday evening would not
wear this aspect if he had the power to return readily to her side
again。〃 Still she hesitated and found it almost as hard to obtain
words or courage now as when she saw him pulling apart the worm…eaten
rosebud。 At last she faltered:
〃Mr。 Van Berg; are you ill?〃
He started to his feet with a dazed look and passed his hand across
his browthe same gesture she so well remembered seeing him make
at the close of the happy evening he had spent at her home。 As he
realized that the maiden before him