按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
and sister Laura across the sea a hundred times to…night。 But oh；
how strangely my thoughts come back from every oneeverything to
that dear saint who sacrificed herself for me to…day。And yet I'm
leaving her； I'm leaving all。 Whither am I going？ It's all dark；
DARK； vague and dreary。 Oh； that I had her simple faith！ Whether
true or no it would be an infinite comfort now。 What did she
say？'I've found a Friend pledged to take care of me。' That is
all I would ask。 I would not be afraid to go out into this great
universe if I only had such a Friend as she believes in； waiting
to receive me。 Who cares how strange a place may be if a loved
friend meets and greets us。 But to go alone； and away from so much
to which my heart clingsoh； it is awful！ awful！…
〃A man can't die； ought not to die； like a stupid beast unless he
is a beast only； nor should death drag us like trembling captives
from the shores of time。 And yet I must do one of three things：
either wait helplessly and in trembling expectancy； or take cousel
of pride； and stubbornly and sullenly meet the future； or else
appeal to Ida's Friend。 It seems mean business to do the last now
in my extremity； but I well know that Ida would counsel it； and
by reaching her Friend I may at some time in the future reach her
again。 I know well how my motherwere I dyingwould urge me to
look to him； whom she in loyal faith worships daily； and thus I may
see her once more。 The Bible teaches how many in their extremity
looked to Christ and he helped them。 But then they had not known
about him； and coldly and almost contemptuously neglected him for
years as I have。 Oh； what has my reason； of which I have been
so proud； done for me； save blast my earthly life with folly； and
permitted the neglect of all preparation for an eternal life。 If
ever a self…confident man was taught how utterly incapable he was
of meeting events and questions that might occur within a few brief
days； I am he； and yet； vain fool that I was！ I was practically
acting as if I could meet all that would happen to all eternity
in a cool； well…bred； masterful way。 Poor untrained； untaught Ida
Mayhew said she had 'found a Friend pledged to take care of her；'
and he has taken care of her。 He has made her life true； noble；
heroic； beneficent。 I was content to take care of myself； and
this is the result。 God might well turn away in disgust from any
prayer of mine now； but may I be accursed if I do not become a
Christian man； if by any means I now escape death！〃
But in his intense longing to see again those he loved so well； and
tell them that he had not basely broken his pledges and fled like
a coward from duty； he did pray with all the agonized earnestness
of a soul clinging to the one hope that intervened between itself
and utter despair； but the moon moved on serenely and sank among
the trees on the western bank of the ravine。 The night darkened
again and the stars came out more clearly with their cold distant
glitter。 Nature's breathless hush and expectancy continued； and
there was no sound without and no answer within the heart of the
despairing man。 At last； in weakness and discouragement； he moaned：
〃Well； thank God； brave Ida Mayhew put an honorable purpose in my
heart before I died； and I meant to have carried it out。 There's
no use of praying； for it seems as if I were no more than one of
these millions of leaves over my head when it falls from its place。
Nature is pitiless and God is as cold towards me as I was once to
one who turned her appealing eyes to me for a little kindness and
sympathy。 O God！ if I must die； let it be soon； for my pain and
thirst are becoming intolerable。〃
The dawn was now brightening the east。 Nature as if tired of
waitinglike some professed friendsfor one who was long in dying；
ceased its breathless hush。 A fresh breeze rustled the motionless
leaves； birds withdrew their heads from under their wings； and
began the twittering preliminary to their morning songs； and two
squirrels； springing from their nest in a hollow tree； like children
from a cottage door； scrambled down and over Van Berg's prostrate
form in their wild sport； but he was too weak； too far gone in
dull； heavy apathy to heed them。
At last he thought he was dying； and he became unconscious。
He learned that it was only a swoon from the fact that he revived
again； and was dimly conscious of sounds near him。 It seemed to him
that he was half asleep； and that he could not wake up sufficiently
to distinguish whether the sounds were heard in a dream or in reality。
But he soon became sure that some one was crying and moaning not
far away； and he naturally associated such evidences of distress
with what he had seen last in Mr。 Eltinge's garden。 He therefore
called feebly：
〃IdaIda Mayhew。〃
〃Merciful God！〃 exclaimed a voice； 〃who is that？〃
His heart beat so fast he could not answer at once； but he heard
a light； swift step； the shrubbery and low branches of the trees
were swept aside； and Jennie Burton's blue eyes； full of tears but
dilated with wonder and fear； looked upon him。
〃O； Jennie Burton； good angel of God！ he has sent you to me；〃 cried
the rescued man； who with a glad thrill of joy felt that life was
coming back in the line of honor and duty。
〃Harold Van Berg！ what are you doing here？〃 she asked in wild
amazement。
〃I was dying till you came and brought me hope and life； as you
have to so many others。〃
〃Thank God； thank God；〃 she panted； and she rushed at the rock that
had held him in such terrible durance。
He struggled up and tried to pull her hands away。
〃Don't do that； Jennie；〃 he said； 〃you are not quite an angel yet；
and cannot 'roll the stone away。'〃
〃O God！〃 she exclaimed； with a sharp cry of agony； 〃in some such
way and place HE may have died；〃 and she sank to the ground； moaning
and wringing her hands as if overwhelmed with agony at the thought。
Van Berg reached out and took her hand； forgetting for a moment
his own desperate need； as he said： 〃Dear Jennie； don't grieve so
terribly。〃
〃God forgive me； that I could forget you！〃 she said； starting up。
〃I must not lose a second in bringing you help。〃
But he clung feebly to her hand。 〃Wait； Jennie； till you are more
calm。 My life depends on you now。 The hotel is a long way off；
and if you start in your present mood you will never reach it
yourself； and I had better die a thousand times than cause harm to
you。〃
She put her hand on her side and her convulsive sobbing soon ceased。
After a moment or two she said quietly： 〃You can trust me now；
Mr。 Van Berg； I won't fail you。〃
〃Do you think you could bring me a little water before you go？〃 he
asked。
〃Yes； there's a spring near； I know this place well；〃 and it seemed
to him that she flitted back and forth like a ray of light； bringing
all the water she could carry in a large leaf。
〃Oh；〃 he said； with a long deep breath； 〃did ever a sweeter draught
pass mortal lips； and from your hands； too； Jennie Burton。 May I
die as I would have died here if I do not devote my life to making
you happy！〃
〃I accept that pledge；〃 she said； with a wan smile that on her
pale； tear…stained face was inexpressibly touching。 〃It makes me
bold enough to ask one more promise。〃
〃It's made already； so help me God！〃 he replied fervently。
A faint； far…away gleam of something like mirth came into her deep
blue eyes as she said； 〃I've bound you now； and you can have no
choice。 Your pledge is thisthat you will make me happy in my
own way。 Now； not another word； not another motion； keep every
particle of life and strength till I come again with assistance；〃
and she brought him water twice again； silencing him by an imperious
gesture when he attempted to speak； and then she disappeared。
〃That was an odd pledge that she beguiled me into；〃 he murmured。
〃I fear that in the wiles of her unselfish heart she has caught
me in some kind of a trap。〃 But after a little time he relapsed
again into a condition of partial unconsciousness。
Chapter LIV。 Life and trust。
Ida did not leave the refuge of her room for several hours after
her return from the memorable visit to Mr。 Eltinge's garden；for
far more than the long hot drive； her heroic； spiritual conflict
with temptation； the sense of immeasurable loss； and the overwhelming
sorrow that followed； had exhausted her。 As she rallied from her
deep depression； which was physical as well as mental； and found
that she could think connectedly； she turned to her Bible in the
hope of discovering some comforting and reassuring truths spoken
by that Friend for whose sake she had given up so much。
These words caught her attention； and in accordance with the
simplicity and directness of her nature she built upon them her
only hope for the future： 〃