按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
me into saying yes when I was in no fit condition to make a
decision。 I wish to remain where I have always been； and you
know it。'
'Listen to you carry on！' Portia said angrily。 'You done
grumbled so much that I nearly worn out。 You done fumed
and fussed so that I right shamed for you。'
'Pshaw！ Say what you will。 You only come before me like
a
gnat。 I know what I wish and will not be pestered into doing
that which is wrong。
'
Portia took off his bedroom shoes and unrolled a pair of clean
black cotton socks。 'Father； less us quit this here argument。 Us
have all done the best we know how。 It entirely the best plan
for you to go out with Grandpapa and Hamilton and Buddy。
They going to take good care of you and you going to get
well。
'
'No； I will not；' said Doctor Copeland。 'But I would have
recovered here。 I know it。
'
'Who you think could pay the note on this here house？ How
you think us could feed you？ Who you think could take care
you here？
'
'I have always managed； and I can manage yet。
'
'You just trying to be contrary。
'
'Pshaw！ You come before me like a gnat。 And I ignore you。
'
'That certainly is a nice way to talk to me while I trying to put
on your shoes and socks。
'
'I am sorry。 Forgive me； Daughter。'284
'Course you sorry；' she said。 'Course we both sorry。 Us can't
afford to quarrel。 And besides； once we get you settled on the
farm you going to like it。 They got the prettiest vegetable
garden I ever seen。 Make my mouth slobber to think about it。
And chickens and two breed sows and eighteen peach trees。
Ypu just going to be crazy about it there。 I sure do wish it was
me could get a chance to go。
'
'I wish so； too。
'
'How come you so determined to grieve？
'
'I just feel that I have failed；' he said。
'How you mean you done failed？
'
'I do not know。 Just leave me be； Daughter。 Just let me sit here
in peace a moment。
'
'O。K。 But us got to get gone from here pretty soon。
'
He would be silent。 He would sit quietly and rock in the chair
until the sense of order was in him once more。 His head
trembled and his backbone ached。
'I certainly hope this；' Portia said。 'I certainly hope that when
I
dead and gone as many peoples grieves for me as grieves for
Mr。 Singer。 I sure would like to know I were going to have as
sad a funeral as he had and as many peoples'
'Hush！' said Doctor Copeland roughly。 〃You talk too much。'
But truly with the death of that white man a dark sorrow had
lain down in his heart。 He had talked to him as to no other
white man and had trusted him。 And the mystery of his suicide
had left him baffled and without support。 There was neither
beginning nor end to this sorrow。 Nor understanding。 Always
he would return in his thoughts to this white man who was not
insolent or scornful but who was just。 And how can the dead
be truly dead when they still live in the souls of those who are
left behind？ But of all this he must not think。 He must thrust it
from him now。
For it was discipline he needed。 During the past month the
black； terrible feelings had arisen again to wrestle with his
spirit。 There was the hatred that for days had truly let him
down into the regions of death。 After the quarrel with Mr。
Blounti the midnight visitor； there had been in him a
murderous darkness。 Yet now he could not clearly recall those
issues which were the cause of their dispute。 And
285
then the different anger that came in him when he looked on
the stumps of Willie's legs。 The warring love and hatred —
love for his people and hatred for the oppressors of his people
—that left him exhausted and sick in spirit
'Daughter；' he said。 'Get me my watch and coat。 I am going。'
He pushed himself up with the arms of the chair。 The floor
seemed a far way from his face and after the long time in bed
his legs were very weak。 For a moment he felt he would fall。
He walked dizzily across the bare room and stood leaning
against the side of the doorway。 He coughed and took from his
pocket one of the squares of paper to hold over his mouth。
'Here your coat；' Portia said。 'But it so hot outside you not
going to need it。'
He walked for the last time through the empty house。 The
blinds were closed and in the darkened rooms there was the
smell of dust。 He rested against the wall of the vestibule and
then went outside。 The morning was bright and warm。 Many
friends had come to say good…bye the night before and in the
very early morning—but now only the family was congregated
on the porch。 The wagon and the automobile were parked out
in the street。
'Well； Benedict Mady；' the old man said。 'I reckon yoa ghy be
a little bit homesick these first few days。 But won't be long。
'
'I do not have any home。 So why should T be homesick？
*
Portia wet her lips nervously and said： 'He coming back
whenever he get good and ready。 Buddy will be glad to ride
him to town in the car。 Buddy just love to drive。
'
The automobile was loaded。 Boxes of books were tied to the
running…board。 The back seat was crowded with two chairs
and the filing case。 His office desk； legs in the air； had been
fastened to the top。 But although the car was weighted down
the wagon was almost empty。 The mule stood patiently；
a
brick tied to his reins。
'Karl Marx；' Doctor Copeland said。 'I^ook sharp。 Go over the
house and make sure that nothing is left。 Bring the cup I left
on the floor and my rocking…chair。
'
'Less us get started。 I anxious to be home by dinnertime；
'
Hamilton said。286
At last they were ready。 Highboy cranked the automobile。
Karl Marx sat at the wheel and Portia； Highboy； and William
were crowded together on the back seat。
'Father； suppose you set on Highboy's lap。 I believe you be
more comfortable than scrouged up here with us and all this
furniture。
'
*No； it is too crowded。 I would rather ride in the wagon。
'
'But you not used to the wagon；' Karl Marx said。 'It going to be
very bumpy and the trip liable to take all day。
'
〃That does not matter。 I have ridden in many a wagon before
this。
'
'Tell Hamilton to come with us。 I sure he rather ride in the
automobile。
'
Grandpapa had driven the wagon into town the day before。
They brought with them a load of produce； peaches and
cabbages and turnips； for Hamilton to sell in town。 All except
a sack of peaches had been marketed。
'Well； Benedict Mady； I see you riding home with me；' the old
man said。
Doctor Copeland climbed into the back of the wagon。 He was
weary as though his bones were made of lead。 His head
trembled and a sudden spasm of nausea made him lie down
flat on the rough boards。
'I right glad you coming；' Grandpapa said。 'You understand I
always had deep respect for scholars。 Deep respect I able to
overlook and forget a good many things if a man be a scholar。
I very glad to have a scholar like you in the fambly again。'
The wheels of the wagon creaked。 They were on the way。 'I
will return soon；' Doctor Copeland said。 'After only a month or
two I will return。'
'Hamilton he a right good scholar。 I think he favors you some。
He do all my figuring on paper for me and he read the
newspapers。 And Whitman I think he ghy be a scholar。 Right
now he able to read the Bible to me。 And do number work。
Small a child as he is。 I always had a deep respect for
scholars。'
The motion of the wagon jolted his back。 He looked up at the
branches overhead； and then when there was no shade he
covered his face with a handkerchief to shield his eyes from
the sun。 It was not possible that this could be the end。 Always
he had felt in him the strong； true
287
purpose。 For forty years his mission was his life and his life
was his mission。 And yet all remained to be done and nothing
was completed。
*Yes； Benedict Mady； I right glad to have you with us again。 I
been waiting to ask you about this peculiar feeling in my right
foot。 A queer feeling like my foot gone to sleep。 I taken 666
and rubbed it with liniment。 I hoping you will find me a good
treatment。'
'I will do what I can。'
。Yes； I glad to have you。 I believe in all Hnfolks sticking
together—blood kin and marriage kin。 I believe in all us
struggling along and helping each other out； and some day us
will have a reward in the Beyond。'
'Pshaw！' Doctor Copeland said bitterly。 'I believe in justice
now。'
'What that you say you believe in？ You speak so hoarse I ain't
able to hear you。'
'In justice for us。 Justice for us Negroes。1
'That right。'
He felt the fire in him and he could not be still。 He wanted to
sit up and speak in a loud voice—yet when he tried to raise
himself he could not find the strength。 The words in his heart
grew big and they would not be silent But the old man had
ceased to listen and there was no one to hear him。
。Git； Lee Jackson。 Git； Honey。 Pick up your feets and quit this
here poking。 Us got a long way to go。'
Afternoon
J AKE ran at a violent； clumsy pace。 He went through Weavers
Lane and then cut into a side alley； climbed a fence； and
hastened onward。 Nausea rose in his belly so that there was
the taste of vomit in his throat。 A barking dog chased beside
him