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looking towards Africa。 For the first time she felt the loneliness of
her situation and that she was far away。
CHAPTER V
Towards morning Domini slept。 It was nearly eight o'clock when she
awoke。 The room was full of soft light which told of the sun outside;
and she got up at once; put on a pair of slippers and opened the
French window on to the verandah。 Already Beni…Mora was bathed in
golden beams and full of gentle activities。 A flock of goats pattered
by towards the edge of the oasis。 The Arab gardeners were lazily
sweeping small leaves from the narrow paths under the mimosa and
pepper trees。 Soldiers in loose white suits; dark blue sashes and the
fez; were hastening from the Fort towards the market。 A distant bugle
rang out and the snarl of camels was audible from the village。 Domini
stood on the verandah for a moment; drinking in the desert air。 It
made her feel very pure and clean; as if she had just bathed in clear
water。 She looked up at the limpid sky; which seemed full of hope and
of the power to grant blessings; and she was glad that she had come to
Beni…Mora。 Her lonely sensation of the previous night had gone。 As she
stood in the sun she was conscious that she needed re…creation and
that here she might find it。 The radiant sky; the warm sun and the
freedom of the coming day and of many coming desert days; filled her
heart with an almost childish sensation。 She felt younger than she had
felt for years; and even foolishly innocent; like a puppy dog or a
kitten。 Her thick black hair; unbound; fell in a veil round her
strong; active body; and she had the rare consciousness that behind
that other more mysterious veil her soul was to…day a less unfit
companion for its mate than it had been since her mother's sin。
Cleanlinesswhat a blessed condition that was; a condition to breed
bravery。 In this early morning hour Beni…Mora looked magically clean。
Domini thought of the desperate dirt of London mornings; of the sooty
air brooding above black trees and greasy pavements。 Surely it was
difficult to be clean of soul there。 Here it would be easy。 One would
tune one's lyre in accord with Nature and be as a singing palm tree
beside a water…spring。 She took up a little vellum…bound book which
she had laid at night upon her dressing…table。 It was /Of the
Imitation of Christ/; and she opened it at haphazard and glanced down
on a sunlit page。 Her eyes fell on these words:
〃Love watcheth; and sleeping; slumbereth not。 When weary it is not
tired; when straitened it is not constrained; when frightened it
is not disturbed; but like a vivid flame and a burning torch it
mounteth upwards and securely passeth through all。 Whosoever
loveth knoweth the cry of this voice。〃
The sunlight on the page of the little book was like the vivid flame
and the burning torch spoken of in it。 Heat; light; a fierce vitality。
Domini had been weary so long; weary of soul; that she was almost
startled to find herself responding quickly to the sacred passion on
the page; to the bright beam that kissed it as twin kisses twin。 She
knelt down to say her morning prayer; but all she could whisper was:
〃O; God; renew me。 O; God; renew me。 Give me power to feel; keenly;
fiercely; even though I suffer。 Let me wake。 Let me feel。 Let me be a
living thing once more。 O; God; renew me; renew me!〃
While she prayed she pressed her face so hard against her hands that
patches of red came upon her cheeks。 And afterwards it seemed to her
as if her first real; passionate prayer in Beni…Mora had been almost
like a command to God。 Was not such a fierce prayer perhaps a
blasphemy?
She rose from that prayer to the first of her new days。
After breakfast she looked over the edge of the verandah and saw
Batouch and Hadj squatting together in the shadow of the trees below。
They were smoking cigarettes and talking eagerly。 Their conversation;
which was in Arabic; sounded violent。 The accented words were like
blows。 Domini had not looked over the parapet for more than a minute
before the two guides saw her and rose smiling to their feet。
〃I am waiting to show the village to Madame;〃 said Batouch; coming out
softly into the road; while Hadj remained under the trees; exposing
his teeth in a sarcastic grin; which plainly enough conveyed to Domini
his pity for her sad mistake in not engaging him as her attendant。
Domini nodded; went back into her room and put on a shady hat。 Suzanne
handed her a large parasol lined with green; and she descended the
stairs rather slowly。 She was not sure whether she wanted a companion
in her first walk about Beni…Mora。 There would be more savour of
freedom in solitude。 Yet she had hardly the heart to dismiss Batouch;
with all his dignity and determination。 She resolved to take him for a
little while and then to get rid of him on some pretext。 Perhaps she
would make some purchases in the bazaars and send him to the hotel
with them。
〃Madame has slept well?〃 asked the poet as she emerged into the sun。
〃Pretty well;〃 she answered; nodding again to Hadj; whose grin became
more mischievous; and opening her parasol。 〃Where are we going?〃
〃Wherever Madame wishes。 There is the market; the negro village; the
mosque; the casino; the statue of the Cardinal; the bazaars; the
garden of the Count Ferdinand Anteoni。〃
〃A garden;〃 said Domini。 〃Is it a beautiful one?〃
Batouch was about to burst into a lyric ecstasy; but he checked
himself and said:
〃Madame shall see for herself and tell me afterwards if in all Europe
there is one such garden。〃
〃Oh; the English gardens are wonderful;〃 she said; smiling at his
patriotic conceit。
〃No doubt。 Madame shall tell me; Madame shall tell me;〃 he repeated
with imperturbable confidence。
〃But first I wish to go for a moment into the church;〃 she said。 〃Wait
for me here; Batouch。〃
She crossed the road; passed the modest; one…storied house of the
priest; and came to the church; which looked out on to the quiet
gardens。 Before going up the steps and in at the door she paused for a
moment。 There was something touching to her; as a Catholic; in this
symbol of her faith set thus far out in the midst of Islamism。 The
cross was surely rather lonely; here; raised above the white…robed men
to whom it meant nothing。 She was conscious that since she had come to
this land of another creed; and of another creed held with fanaticism;
her sentiment for her own religion; which in England for many years
had been but lukewarm; had suddenly gained in strength。 She had an
odd; almost manly; sensation that it was her duty in Africa to stand
up for her faith; not blatantly in words to impress others; but
perseveringly in heart to satisfy herself。 Sometimes she felt very
protective。 She felt protective today as she looked at this humble
building; which she likened to one of the poor saints of the Thebaid;
who dwelt afar in desert places; and whose devotions were broken by
the night…cries of jackals and by the roar of ravenous beasts。 With
this feeling strong upon her she pushed open the door and went in。
The interior was plain; even ugly。 The walls were painted a hideous
drab。 The stone floor was covered with small; hard; straw…bottomed
chairs and narrow wooden forms for the patient knees of worshippers。
In the front were two rows of private chairs; with velvet cushions of
various brilliant hues and velvet…covered rails。 On the left was a
high stone pulpit。 The altar; beyond its mean black and gold railing;
was dingy and forlorn。 On it there was a tiny gold cross with a gold
statuette of Christ hanging; surmounted by a canopy with four pillars;
which looked as if made of some unwholesome sweetmeat。 Long candles of
blue and gold and bouquets of dusty artificial flowers flanked it。
Behind it; in a round niche; stood a painted figure of Christ holding
a book。 The two adjacent side chapels had domed roofs representing the
firmament。 Beneath the pulpit stood a small harmonium。 At the opposite
end of the church was a high gallery holding more chairs。 The mean;
featureless windows were filled with glass half white; half staring
red dotted with yellow crosses。 Round the walls were reliefs of the
fourteen stations of the Cross in white plaster on a gilt ground
framed in grey marble。 From the roof hung vulgar glass chandeliers
with ropes tied with faded pink ribands。 Several frightful plaster
statues daubed with scarlet and chocolate brown stood under the
windows; which were protected with brown woollen curtains。 Close to
the entrance were a receptacle for holy water in the form of a shell;
and a confessional of stone flanked by boxes; one of which bore the
words; 〃Graces obtenues;〃 the other; 〃Demandes;〃 and a card on which
was printed; 〃Litanies en honneur de Saint Antoine de Padoue。〃
There was nothing to please the eye; nothing to appeal to the senses。
There was not even the mystery which shrouds and softens; for the
sunshine streamed in through the white glass of the windows;
revealing; even emphasising; as if with deliberate cruelty; the cheap
finery; the tarnished velvet; the crude colours; the meretricious
gestures and poses of the plaster saints。 Yet as Domini touched her
forehead an