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friend。 'Bring him by all means！
〃The harp； his sole remaining joy；
Was carried by an orphan boy；〃
and I have no doubt the orphan boy can get some cold victuals in
the kitchen； while the Senatus dines。'
Accordingly； being now quite recovered from my unmanly condition；
except that nothing could yet induce me to cross the North Bridge；
I arranged for my ball dress at a shop in Leith Street； where I was
not served ill； cut out Rowley from his seclusion； and was ready
along with him at the trysting…place； the corner of Duke Street and
York Place； by a little after two。 The University was represented
in force： eleven persons； including ourselves； Byfield the
aeronaut； and the tall lad； Forbes； whom I had met on the Sunday
morning； bedewed with tallow； at the 'Hunters' Rest。' I was
introduced； and we set off by way of Newhaven and the sea beach； at
first through pleasant country roads； and afterwards along a
succession of bays of a fairylike prettiness； to our destination …
Cramond on the Almond … a little hamlet on a little river；
embowered in woods； and looking forth over a great flat of
quicksand to where a little islet stood planted in the sea。 It was
miniature scenery； but charming of its kind。 The air of this good
February afternoon was bracing； but not cold。 All the way my
companions were skylarking； jesting and making puns； and I felt as
if a load had been taken off my lungs and spirits； and skylarked
with the best of them。
Byfield I observed； because I had heard of him before； and seen his
advertisements； not at all because I was disposed to feel interest
in the man。 He was dark and bilious and very silent； frigid in his
manners； but burning internally with a great fire of excitement；
and he was so good as to bestow a good deal of his company and
conversation （such as it was） upon myself； who was not in the least
grateful。 If I had known how I was to be connected with him in the
immediate future； I might have taken more pains。
In the hamlet of Cramond there is a hostelry of no very promising
appearance； and here a room had been prepared for us； and we sat
down to table。
'Here you will find no guttling or gormandising； no turtle or
nightingales' tongues；' said the extravagant； whose name； by the
way； was Dalmahoy。 'The device； sir； of the University of Cramond
is Plain Living and High Drinking。'
Grace was said by the Professor of Divinity； in a macaronic Latin；
which I could by no means follow； only I could hear it rhymed； and
I guessed it to be more witty than reverent。 After which the
SENATUS ACADEMICUS sat down to rough plenty in the shape of
rizzar'd haddocks and mustard； a sheep's head； a haggis； and other
delicacies of Scotland。 The dinner was washed down with brown
stout in bottle； and as soon as the cloth was removed； glasses；
boiling water； sugar； and whisky were set out for the manufacture
of toddy。 I played a good knife and fork； did not shun the bowl；
and took part； so far as I was able； in the continual fire of
pleasantry with which the meal was seasoned。 Greatly daring； I
ventured； before all these Scotsmen； to tell Sim's Tale of
Tweedie's dog； and I was held to have done such extraordinary
justice to the dialect； 'for a Southron；' that I was immediately
voted into the Chair of Scots； and became； from that moment； a full
member of the University of Cramond。 A little after； I found
myself entertaining them with a song； and a little after … perhaps
a little in consequence … it occurred to me that I had had enough；
and would be very well inspired to take French leave。 It was not
difficult to manage； for it was nobody's business to observe my
movements； and conviviality had banished suspicion。
I got easily forth of the chamber； which reverberated with the
voices of these merry and learned gentlemen； and breathed a long
breath。 I had passed an agreeable afternoon and evening； and I had
apparently escaped scot free。 Alas！ when I looked into the
kitchen； there was my monkey； drunk as a lord； toppling on the edge
of the dresser； and performing on the flageolet to an audience of
the house lasses and some neighbouring ploughmen。
I routed him promptly from his perch； stuck his hat on； put his
instrument in his pocket； and set off with him for Edinburgh。
His limbs were of paper； his mind quite in abeyance； I must uphold
and guide him； prevent his frantic dives； and set him continually
on his legs again。 At first he sang wildly； with occasional
outbursts of causeless laughter。 Gradually an inarticulate
melancholy succeeded； he wept gently at times； would stop in the
middle of the road； say firmly 'No； no； no；' and then fall on his
back： or else address me solemnly as 'M'lord' and fall on his face
by way of variety。 I am afraid I was not always so gentle with the
little pig as I might have been； but really the position was
unbearable。 We made no headway at all； and I suppose we were
scarce gotten a mile away from Cramond； when the whole SENATUS
ACADEMICUS was heard hailing； and doubling the pace to overtake
its。
Some of them were fairly presentable； and they were all Christian
martyrs compared to Rowley； but they were in a frolicsome and
rollicking humour that promised danger as we approached the town。
They sang songs； they ran races； they fenced with their walking…
sticks and umbrellas； and； in spite of this violent exercise； the
fun grew only the more extravagant with the miles they traversed。
Their drunkenness was deep…seated and permanent； like fire in a
peat； or rather … to be quite just to them … it was not so much to
be called drunkenness at all； as the effect of youth and high
spirits … a fine night； and the night young； a good road under
foot； and the world before you！
I had left them once somewhat unceremoniously； I could not attempt
it a second time； and； burthened as I was with Mr。 Rowley； I was
really glad of assistance。 But I saw the lamps of Edinburgh draw
near on their hill…top with a good deal of uneasiness； which
increased； after we had entered the lighted streets； to positive
alarm。 All the passers…by were addressed； some of them by name。 A
worthy man was stopped by Forbes。 'Sir；' said he； 'in the name of
the Senatus of the University of Cramond； I confer upon you the
degree of LL。D。；' and with the words he bonneted him。 Conceive the
predicament of St。 Ives； committed to the society of these
outrageous youths； in a town where the police and his cousin were
both looking for him！ So far； we had pursued our way unmolested；
although raising a clamour fit to wake the dead； but at last； in
Abercromby Place； I believe … at least it was a crescent of highly
respectable houses fronting on a garden … Byfield and I； having
fallen somewhat in the rear with Rowley； came to a simultaneous
halt。 Our ruffians were beginning to wrench off bells and door…
plates！
'Oh； I say！' says Byfield； 'this is too much of a good thing！
Confound it； I'm a respectable man … a public character； by George！
I can't afford to get taken up by the police。'
'My own case exactly；' said I。
'Here； let's bilk them；' said he。
And we turned back and took our way down hill again。
It was none too soon： voices and alarm bells sounded； watchmen here
and there began to spring their rattles； it was plain the
University of Cramond would soon be at blows with the police of
Edinburgh！ Byfield and I； running the semi…inanimate Rowley before
us； made good despatch； and did not stop till we were several
streets away； and the hubbub was already softened by distance。
'Well； sir；' said he； 'we are well out of that！ Did ever any one
see such a pack of young barbarians？'
'We are properly punished； Mr。 Byfield； we had no business there；'
I replied。
'No； indeed； sir； you may well say that！ Outrageous！ And my
ascension announced for Friday； you know！' cried the aeronaut。 'A
pretty scandal！ Byfield the aeronaut at the police…court！ Tut…
tut！ Will you be able to get your rascal home； sir？ Allow me to
offer you my card。 I am staying at Walker and Poole's Hotel； sir；
where I should be pleased to see you。'
'The pleasure would be mutual； sir；' said I； but I must say my
heart was not in my words； and as I watched Mr。 Byfield departing I
desired nothing less than to pursue the acquaintance
One more ordeal remained for me to pass。 I carried my senseless
load upstairs to our lodging； and was admitted by the landlady in a
tall white nightcap and with an expression singularly grim。 She
lighted us into the sitting…room； where； when I had seated Rowley
in a chair； she dropped me a cast…iron courtesy。 I smelt gunpowder
on the woman。 Her voice； tottered with emotion。
'I give ye nottice； Mr。 Ducie；' said she。 'Dacent