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〃What a mind！〃 said Mr。 Sagittarius aside to the Prophet。
〃What！〃
〃Especially as Madame says； any illnesses taking the form of a rash
the epidemic form； as I may sayand so forth。 We are to receive this
document by the first post Thursday morning。〃
〃Have you dotted all that down； Mr。 Vivian？〃 inquired Madame。
The Prophet hastily made a large variety of scratches with the lead
pencil。
〃And now；〃 continued Mr。 Sagittarius。
There was a third tap at the door。
〃Come in；〃 cried the Prophet； distractedly； and feeling as if homicidal
mania were rapidly creeping upon him。
Mr。 Ferdinand appeared once more； with a mouth like a purse。
〃Her ladyship says she really must go in a moment； sir； andand Mrs。
Merillia begs that〃
〃I am coming at once； Mr。 Ferdinand。 I swear it。 Go upstairs and swear
I swear it。〃
〃Yes； sir。〃
Mr。 Ferdinand departed； rather with the demeanour of an archbishop who
has been inveigled into pledging himself； on his archiepiscopal oath；
to commit some horrid crime。 The Prophet turned； almost violently；
towards his guests。
〃I must go；〃 he cried。 〃I must indeed。 Pray forgive me。 You see how I
am circumstanced。 Permit me to show you to the door。〃
〃You swear； sir； to carry out all our directions and to dot down〃
〃I do。 I swear solemnly to dot downif you will onlythis way。 Take
care of the mat。〃
〃We trust you； Mr。 Vivian；〃 said Madame； with majestic pathos。 〃A wife；
a mother trusts you。 /Placens uxus！ Mater familiaris/。〃
〃I pledge my honour。 This is theno； no； not that way； not that way！〃
The worthy couple； by mistake； no doubt； were proceeding towards the
grand staircase； having missed the way to the hall door； and as the
Prophet； following them up with almost unimaginable activity； drew near
enough to drum the right direction into their backs； Lady Enid became
visible on the landing above。 Mr。 Sagittarius perceived her。
〃Why； it's Miss Minerv〃 he began。
〃This way； this way！〃 cried the Prophet； wheeling them round and
driving them； but always like a thorough gentleman； towards the square。
〃Then she leads a double life； too！〃 said Mr。 Sagittarius； solemnly；
fixing his strained eyes upon the Prophet。
〃She？ Who？〃 said Madame； sharply。
She had not seen Lady Enid。
〃All of us； my love； all of us；〃 returned her husband； as the Prophet
succeeded in shepherding them on to the pavement。
〃Good…bye；〃 he cried。
With almost inconceivable rapidity he shut the door。 As he did so two
vague echoes seemed to faint on his ear。 One was male； a dreamlike
〃First post； Thursday！〃 The other was female； a fairylike〃/Jactum
alea sunt/。〃
CHAPTER IX
THE PROPHET BEGINS TO CARRY OUT HIS DIRECTIONS
〃Mr。 Ferdinand；〃 said the Prophet the same evening； after he had
dressed for dinner； 〃what has become of the telescope？〃
He spoke in a low voice； not unlike that of a confirmed conspirator；
and glanced rather furtively around him； as if afraid of being
overheard。
〃I have removed it； sir； according to your orders；〃 replied Mr。
Ferdinand； also displaying some uneasiness。
〃Yes； yes。 Where have you placed it？〃
〃Well； sir； I understood you to say I might throw it in Piccadilly； if
I so wished。〃
The Prophet suddenly displayed relief。
〃I see。 You have done so。〃
〃Well； no； sir。〃
The Prophet's face fell。
〃Then where is it？〃
〃Well； sir； for the moment I have set it in the butler's pantry。〃
〃Indeed！〃
〃I thought it might be of use there； sir；〃 continued Mr。 Ferdinand； in
some confusion； which； however； was not noticed by the Prophet。 〃Of
great use toto Gustavus and me inin our duties； sir。〃
〃Quite so； quite so；〃 returned the Prophet； abstractedly。
〃Did you wish it to be taken to the drawing…room again； sir？〃
The Prophet started。
〃Certainly not；〃 he said。 〃On no account。 As you very rightly saya
butler's pantry is the place for a telescope。 It can be of great
service there。〃
His fervour surprised Mr。 Ferdinand； who began to wonder whether； by
any chance； his master knew of the Lord Chancellor's agreeable…looking
second…cook。 After pausing a moment respectfully； Mr。 Ferdinand was
about to decamp when the Prophet checked him with a gesture。
〃One moment； Mr。 Ferdinand！〃
〃Sir？〃
〃One moment！〃
Mr。 Ferdinand stood still。 The Prophet cleared his throat； arranged his
tie； and then said； with an air of very elaborate nonchalance；
〃At what time do you generally go to bed； Mr。 Ferdinand； when you don't
sit up？〃
〃Sometimes at one time； sir； and sometimes at another。〃
〃That's rather ambiguous。〃
〃I beg pardon； sir。〃
〃What is your usual hour for being quitethat is； entirely in bed。〃
〃Entirely in bed； sir？〃
Mr。 Ferdinand's fine bass voice vibrated with surprise。
〃Yes。 Not partially in bed； but really and truly in bed？〃
〃Well； sir；〃 returned Mr。 Ferdinand； with decided dignity； 〃when I am
in bed； sir； I am。〃
〃And when's that？〃
〃By twelve； sir。〃
〃I thought as much；〃 cried the Prophet； with slightly theatrical
solicitude。 〃You sit up too late； Mr。 Ferdinand。〃
〃I hope； sir； that I〃
〃That's what makes you so pale； Mr。 Ferdinand； and delicate。〃
〃Delicate； sir！〃 cried Mr。 Ferdinand； who had in fact been hopelessly
robust from the cradle； totally incapable of acquiring even the most
universal complaints； and； moreover； miraculously exempt from that
well…recognised affliction of the members of his profession so widely
known as 〃butler's feet。〃
〃Yes；〃 said the Prophet； emphatically。 〃You should be in bed；
thoroughly in bed； by a quarter to eleven。 And Gustavus too！ He is
young； and the young can't be too careful。 Begin to…night； Mr。
Ferdinand。 I speak for your health's sake； believe me。〃
So saying the Prophet hurried away； leaving Mr。 Ferdinand almost as
firmly rooted to the Turkey carpet with surprise as if he had been
woven into the pattern at birth； and never unpicked in later years。
At ten that evening the Prophet； having escaped early from his dinner
on some extravagant plea of sudden illness or second gaiety； stood in
the small and sober passage of the celebrated Tintack Club and inquired
anxiously for Mr。 Robert Green。
〃Yes； sir。 Mr。 Green is upstairs in the smoke…room；〃 said the
functionary whom the club grew under glass for the benefit of the
members and their friends。
〃Sam； show this gentleman to Mr。 Green。〃
Sam； who was a red…faced child in buttons； with a man's walk and the
back of one who knew as much as most people； obeyed this command； and
ushered the Prophet into a room with a sealing…wax red paper； in which
Robert Green was sitting alone； smoking a large cigar and glancing at
the 〃stony…broke edition〃 of an evening paper。 He greeted the Prophet
with his usual unaffected cordiality； offered him every drink that had
yet been invented； and； on his refusal of them all； handed him a cigar
and a matchbox； and whistled 〃Ta…ra…ra…boom…de…av〃 at him in the most
friendly manner possible。
〃Bob；〃 said the Prophet； taking a very long time to light the cigar；
〃what； in your opinion； is the exact meaning of the term honour？〃
Mr。 Green's cheerful； though slightly belated； face assumed an
expression of genial betwaddlement。
〃Oh； well； Hen；〃 he said； 〃exact meaning you know's not so easy。 But
hang it； we all understand the thing； eh； without sticking it down in
words。 What？〃
〃I don't； Bob；〃 rejoined the Prophet； in the tone of a man at odds with
several consciences。 〃In what direction does honour lie？〃
〃It don't lie at all； old chap；〃 said Mr。 Green； with the decided
manner which had made him so universally esteemed in yeomanry circles。
The Prophet began to look very much distressed。
〃Look here； Bob； I'll put it in this way；〃 he said。 〃Would an
honourable man feel bound to keep a promise？〃
〃Rather。〃
〃Yes； but would he feel bound to keep two promises？〃
〃Rather； if he'd made 'em。〃
〃Suppose he had！〃
〃Go ahead； Hen； I'm supposing；〃 said Mr。 Green； beginning to pucker his
brows and stare very hard indeed in the endeavour to keep the
supposition fixed firmly in his head。
〃And； further； suppose that these two promises were diametrically
opposed to one another。〃
Mr。 Green stuck out one leg； looked obliquely at the carpet； pressed
his lips together and nodded。
〃So that if he fulfilled them both he'd have to break them both〃
〃Stop a sec！ Gad； I've lost it！ Start again； Hen！〃
〃No； I mean so that if he didn't break one he would be forced to break
the other。 Have you got that？〃
〃Stop a bit！ Don't believe I have。 Let's see！〃
He moved his lips silently； repeating the Prophet's words。
〃Yes。 I've got that all right now；〃 he said； after three minutes of
strenuous mental exertion。