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the Palace?〃
〃The Palace! Do you mean the Crystal Palace?〃
〃Of Buckingham? You are not an /amicas curiae/?〃
〃I fear I don't catch your meaning。〃
〃Does not your ladyship comprehend the Latin tongue?〃
〃Certainly not;〃 said Lady Julia; who was born in an age when it was
considered highly improper for a young female to have any dealings with
the ancients。 〃Certainly not。〃
〃Dear me!〃 said Madame; with pitying amazement。 〃You hear her ladyship;
Jupiter?〃
〃I do; my angel。 Madame is a lady of deep education; ma'am;〃 said Mr。
Sagittarius; turning to Mrs。 Merillia; who had been listening to the
foregoing cross…examination with perpetually…increasing horror。
〃No decent female should understand Greek or Latin;〃 roared Sir Tiglath
at this point。 〃If she does she's sure to read a great deal that she's
no business to know anything about。〃
At this challenge Madame's bulging brow was overcast with a red cloud。
〃I beg to disagree; sir;〃 she exclaimed。 〃In my opinion the Georgics of
Horatius; Homer's Idyls and the satires of the great Juvenile〃
〃The great what?〃 bellowed Sir Tiglath。
〃The great Juvenile; sir。〃
〃There never was a great juvenile; ma'am。 Talent must be mellow before
it is worth tasting; whatever the modern whipper…snapper may say。 There
never was; and there never will be; a great juvenilethere can only be
a juvenile preparing to be great。〃
〃Really; sir。〃
〃I affirm it; madam。 And as you seem so mighty fond of Latin; remember
what Horace says/Qui cupit opatam cursu contingere metam; Multa tulit
fecitque puer; sudavit et alsit/。 Oh…h…h…h!〃
And Sir Tiglath flung himself back in his chair; puffing out his
enormous cheeks and wagging his gigantic head at Madame who; for once
in her life; seemed entirely at a loss; and unable to call to her
assistance a single shred of learning from the library of Dr。 Carter。
Having at last emerged from his Epicurean silence; the astronomer now
proceeded to take the floor。 Satisfied that he had laid a presuming
female low; he swung round; as if on a pivot; to where Mr。 Sagittarius
was sitting in the greatest agitation; and roared;
〃And now; sir what is all this about your being an outside broker? I
was distinctly informed by this gentleman only a night or two ago that
you were a distinguished astronomer。〃
〃I am betrayed!〃 cried Mr。 Sagittarius; dropping the knife and fork
which he had just picked up for the dissection of a lobster croquette。
〃I said this was a trap。 I said it was a rat…trap from the first。〃
〃I knew he must be a ratcatcher;〃 whispered Lady Julia to the Prophet;
who was about to rise from his seat and endeavour to calm his guest。 〃I
was certain no one but a ratcatcher could talk in such a manner。〃
〃He is not indeed! Mr。 Sagittarius; pray sit down! You are alarming my
grandmother。〃
〃I can't help that; sir。 I am not going to sit here; sir; and be
slain。〃
〃Tsh! Tsh! I merely informed Sir Tiglath the other evening that what
Miss Minerva had told him about you was true。〃
〃Miss Minerva!〃 cried Madame; glancing at her husband in a most
terrible manner。 〃Miss Minerva!〃
〃Lady Enid Thistle; I mean;〃 cried the Prophet; mentally cursing the
day when he was born。
〃Who's that?〃 exclaimed Madame; beginning to look almost exactly like
Medusa。
〃A young female who informed the old astronomer that your husband and
an elderly female named Mrs。 Bridgeman had for a long while been
carrying on astronomical investigations together〃
〃Carrying on together!〃 vociferated Madame。 〃Jupiter!〃
〃And that they had come to the conclusion that there was probably
oxygen in certain of the holy fixed stars。 Oxygen; so the elderly
female〃
〃Oxygen in an elderly female!〃 cried Madame; in the greatest
excitement。 〃Jupiter; is this true?〃
Mr。 Sagittarius was about to bring forward a flat denial when the
Prophet; leaning behind the terrified back of Lady Julia; hissed in his
ear;
〃Say yes; or he'll find out who you really are!〃
〃Yes;〃 cried Mr。 Sagittarius; in a catapultic manner。
Madame began to show elaborate symptoms of preparation for a large…
sized fit of hysterics。 She caught her breath five or six times running
in a resounding manner; heaved her bosom beneath the green chiffon and
coffee…coloured lace; and tore feebly with both hands at a large
medallion brooch that was doing sentry duty near her throat。
〃Pray; pray; Madame;〃 exclaimed the Prophet; who was now near his wits'
end。 〃Pray〃
〃How can I pray at table; sir?〃 she retorted; suddenly showing fight。
〃You forget yourself。〃
〃Oh; Hennessey;〃 said poor Mrs。 Merillia; 〃what does all this mean?〃
〃Nothing; grannie; nothing except that Mr。 Sagittarius is a very modest
man and does not care to acknowledge the greatness of his talents。 Pray
sit down; Mr。 Sagittarius。 Here is the ice pudding。 Madame; I am sure
you will take some ice。 Mr。 Ferdinand!〃
〃Sir?〃
〃The ice to Madame Sagittarius instantly!〃
Mr。 Ferdinand; who was trembling in every limb at having to assist at
such a scene in his dining…room; which had hitherto been the very
temple of soft conversation and the most exquisite decorum; advanced
towards Madame; clattering the flat silver dish; and causing the frozen
delicacy that the cook had elegantly posed upon it to run first this
way and then that as if in imitative agitation。
〃I cannot;〃 sobbed Madame; beginning once more to catch her breath。 〃At
such a moment food becomes repulsive!〃
〃I assure you our cook's ice puddings are quite delicious; aren't they;
grannie?〃
〃I have no idea; Hennessey;〃 said Mrs。 Merillia; who was so upset by
the extraordinary scene at which she was presiding in the character of
hostess; that she mechanically clutched the left bandeau of her
delightful wig; and set it quite a quarter of an inch awry。
〃Try it; Madame;〃 cried the Prophet。 〃I implore you to try it。〃
Thus adjured Madame detached a large piece of the agile pudding with
some difficulty; and subsided into a morose silence; while her husband
sat with his eyes fixed imploringly upon her; totally regardless of his
social duties。 As both Mrs。 Merillia and Lady Julia were by this time
thoroughly unnerved; and Sir Tiglath was once more immersed in his
food; the whole burden of conversation fell upon the Prophet; who
indulged in a feverish monologue that lasted until the end of dinner。
What he talked about he could never afterwards certainly remember; but
he had a vague idea that he discussed the foreign relations of England
with Madagascar; the probable future of Poland; the social habits of
the women of Alaska; the prospects of tobacco culture in West Meath;
and the effect that imported Mexicans would be likely to produce upon
the natural simplicity of such unsophisticated persons as inhabit Lundy
Island or the more remote districts of the Shetlands。 When the ladies
at length rose to leave the dining…room his brain was in a whirl and he
had little doubt that his temperature was up to 104。 Nevertheless his
mind was still active; was indeed preternaturally acute for the moment;
and he saw in a flash the impossibility of leaving Madame Sagittarius
alone with his grandmother and Lady Julia。 As they got up from their
seats he therefore took out his watch and said;
〃Dear me! It is later than I had supposed。 I am afraid we ought to be
starting for Zoological House。 Mrs。 Bridgeman will be expecting us。〃
〃Certainly; sir; certainly!〃 said Mr。 Sagittarius; with all the
alacrity of supreme cowardice; and casting a terror…stricken glance
towards Sir Tiglath; who was glowering at him with glassy eyes above a
glass of port。 〃Mrs。 Bridgeman will be expecting us!〃
〃I will assume my cloak;〃 said Madame; fiercely。 〃Jupiter!〃
〃My darling!〃
〃Kindly seek my furs。〃
〃Certainly; my love;〃 replied Mr。 Sagittarius; darting eagerly from the
apartment to fetch the rabbit…skins。
〃Lady Julia; I hope you will forgive us;〃 said the Prophet; with
passionate contrition。 〃If I had had the slightest idea that we should
have the pleasure of seeing you to…night; of course I should have given
up this engagement。 But it is such an old onesettled months agoand
I have promised Mrs。 Bridgeman so faithfully that〃
〃The old astronomer will go with you;〃 cried Sir Tiglath at this
moment; swallowing his glass of port at a gulp; and rolling out of his
chair。
The Prophet turned cold; thinking of Miss Minerva; who would be present
at Mrs。 Bridgeman's living her secret double life。 It was imperative to
prevent the astronomer from accompanying them。
〃I did not think you knew Mrs。 Bridgeman; Sir Tiglath;〃 the Prophet
began; while Mrs。 Merillia and Lady Julia stood blankly near the door;
trying to look calm and dignified while everyone was ardently preparing
to desert them。
〃The old astronomer must