按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
at the door with such kicks。 You have brought on a miscarriage…of an
idea！
STREPSIADES
Pardon me； please； for I live far away from here in the country。
But tell me； what was the idea that miscarried？
DISCIPLE
I may not tell it to any but a disciple。
STREPSIADES
Then tell me without fear； for I have come to study among you。
DISCIPLE
Very well then； but reflect； that these are mysteries。 Lately； a
flea bit Chaerephon on the brow and then from there sprang on to the
head of Socrates。 Socrates asked Chaerephon； 〃How many times the
length of its legs does a flea jump？〃
STREPSIADES
And how ever did he go about measuring it？
DISCIPLE
Oh！ it was most ingenious！ He melted some wax； seized the flea and
dipped its two feet in the wax； which； when cooled； left them shod
with true Persian slippers。 These he took off and with them measured
the distance。
STREPSIADES
Ah！ great Zeus！ what a brain！ what subtlety！
DISCIPLE
I wonder what then would you say； if you knew another of Socrates'
contrivances？
STREPSIADES
What is it？ Pray tell me。
DISCIPLE
Chaerephon of the deme of Sphettia asked him whether he thought
a gnat buzzed through its proboscis or through its anus。
STREPSIADES
And what did he say about the gnat？
DISCIPLE
He said that the gut of the gnat was narrow； and that； in
passing through this tiny passage； the air is driven with force
towards the breech； then after this slender channel； it encountered
the rump； which was distended like a trumpet； and there it resounded
sonorously。
STREPSIADES
So the arse of a gnat is a trumpet。 Oh！ what a splendid
arsevation！ Thrice happy Socrates！ It would not be difficult to
succeed in a law…suit； knowing so much about a gnat's guts！
DISCIPLE
Not long ago a lizard caused him the loss of a sublime thought。
STREPSIADES
In what way； please？
DISCIPLE
One night； when he was studying the course of the moon and its
revolutions and was gazing open…mouthed at the heavens； a lizard
crapped upon him from the top of the roof。
STREPSIADES
A lizard crapping on Socrates！ That's rich！
DISCIPLE
Last night we had nothing to eat。
STREPSIADES
Well； what did he contrive； to secure you some supper？
DISCIPLE
He spread over the table a light layer of cinders； bending an iron
rod the while； then he took up a pair of compasses and at the same
moment unhooked a piece of the victim which was hanging in the
palaestra。
STREPSIADES
And we still dare to admire Thales！ Open； open this home of
knowledge to me quickly！ Haste； haste to show me Socrates； I long to
become his disciple。 But do please open the door。 （The door opens；
revealing the interior of the Thoughtery； in which the DISCIPLES OF
SOCRATES are seen in various postures of meditation and study； they
are pale and emaciated creatures。） Ah！ by Heracles！ what country are
those animals from？
DISCIPLE
Why； what are you astonished at？ What do you think they resemble？
STREPSIADES
The captives of Pylos。 But why do they look so fixedly on the
ground？
DISCIPLE
They are seeking for what is below the ground。
STREPSIADES
Ah！ they're looking for onions。 Do not give yourselves so much
trouble； I know where there are some； fine big ones。 But what are
those fellows doing； bent all double？
DISCIPLE
They are sounding the abysses of Tartarus。
STREPSIADES
And what are their arses looking at in the heavens？
DISCIPLE
They are studying astronomy on their own account。 But come in so
that the master may not find us here。
STREPSIADES
Not yet； not yet； let them not change their position。 I want to
tell them my own little matter。
DISCIPLE
But they may not stay too long in the open air and away from
school。
STREPSIADES （pointing to a celestial globe）
In the name of all the gods； what is that？ Tell me。
DISCIPLE
That is astronomy。
STREPSIADES （pointing to a map）
And that？
DISCIPLE
Geometry。
STREPSIADES
What is that used for？
DISCIPLE
To measure the land。
STREPSIADES
But that is apportioned by lot。
DISCIPLE
No； no； I mean the entire earth。
STREPSIADES
Ah！ what a funny thing！ How generally useful indeed is this
invention！
DISCIPLE
There is the whole surface of the earth。 Look！ Here is Athens。
STREPSIADES
Athens！ you are mistaken； I see no courts in session。
DISCIPLE
Nevertheless it is really and truly the Attic territory。
STREPSIADES
And where are my neighbours of Cicynna？
DISCIPLE
They live here。 This is Euboea； you see this island； that is so
long and narrow。
STREPSIADES
I know。 Because we and Pericles have stretched it by dint of
squeezing it。 And where is Lacedaemon？
DISCIPLE
Lacedaemon？ Why； here it is； look。
STREPSIADES
How near it is to us！ Think it well over； it must be removed to
a greater distance。
DISCIPLE
But； by Zeus； that is not possible。
STREPSIADES
Then； woe to you！ and who is this man suspended up in a basket？
DISCIPLE
That's himself。
STREPSIADES
Who's himself？
DISCIPLE
Socrates。
STREPSIADES
Socrates！ Oh！ I pray you； call him right loudly for me。
DISCIPLE
Call him yourself； I have no time to waste。 （He departs。 The
machine swings in SOCRATES in a basket。）
STREPSIADES
Socrates！ my little Socrates！
SOCRATES （loftily）
Mortal； what do you want with me？
STREPSIADES
First； what are you doing up there？ Tell me； I beseech you。
SOCRATES （POMPOUSLY）
I am traversing the air and contemplating the sun。
STREPSIADES
Thus it's not on the solid ground； but from the height of this
basket； that you slight the gods； if indeed。。。。
SOCRATES
I have to suspend my brain and mingle the subtle essence of my
mind with this air； which is of the like nature； in order clearly to
penetrate the things of heaven。 I should have discovered nothing；
had I remained on the ground to consider from below the things that
are above； for the earth by its force attracts the sap of the mind
to itself。 It's just the same with the watercress。
STREPSIADES
What？ Does the mind attract the sap of the watercress？ Ah！ my dear
little Socrates； come down to me！ I have come to ask you for lessons。
SOCRATES （descending）
And for what lessons？
STREPSIADES
I want to learn how to speak。 I have borrowed money； and my
merciles creditors do not leave me a moment's peace； all my goods
are at stake。
SOCRATES
And how was it you did not see that you were getting so much
into debt？
STREPSIADES
My ruin has been the madness for horses； a most rapacious evil；
but teach me one of your two methods of reasoning； the one whose
object is not to repay anything； and； may the gods bear witness；
that I am ready to pay any fee you may name。
SOCRATES
By which gods will you swear？ To begin with； the gods are not a
coin current with us。
STREPSIADES
But what do you swear by then？ By the iron money of Byzantium？
SOCRATES
Do you really wish to know the truth of celestial matters？
STREPSIADES
Why； yes； if it's possible。
SOCRATES
。。。。and to converse with the clouds； who are our genii？
STREPSIADES
Without a doubt。
SOCRATES
Then be seated on this sacred couch。
STREPSIADES （sitting down）
I am seated。
SOCRATES
Now take this chaplet。
STREPSIADES
Why a chaplet？ Alas！ Socrates； would you sacrifice me； like
Athamas？
SOCRATES
No； these are the rites of initiation。
STREPSIADES
And what is it I am to gain？
SOCRATES
You will become a thorough rattle…pate； a hardened old stager； the
fine flour of the talkers。。。。But come； keep quiet。
STREPSIADES
By Zeus！ That's no lie！ Soon I shall be nothing but wheat…flour；
if you powder me in that fashion。
SOCRATES
Silence； old man； give heed to the prayers。 （In an hierophantic
tone） Oh！ most mighty king； the boundless air； that keepest the
earth suspended in space； thou bright Aether and ye venerable
goddesses； the Clouds； who carry in your loins the thunder and the
lightning； arise； ye sovereign powers and manifest yourselves in the
celestial spheres to the eyes of your sage。
STREPSIADES
Not yet！ Wait a bit； till I fold my mantle double； so as not to
get wet。 And to think that I did not even bring my travelling cap！
What a misfortune！
SOCRATES （ignoring this）
Come； oh！ Clouds； whom I adore； come and show yourselves to this
man； whether you be resting on the sacred summits of Olympus；
crowned with hoar…frost； or tarrying in the gardens of Ocean； your
father； forming sacred choruses with the Nymphs； whether you be