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〃It is a long while since I last wrote to you; but I have had no time。
This is the first morning I have been at home since I don't know when。 Em
always expects me to go down to the farmhouse in the morning; but I didn't
feel as though I could stand the ride today。
〃I have much news for you。
〃Tant Sannie; Em's Boer stepmother; is to be married tomorrow。 She is gone
to town today; and the wedding feast is to be at her brother's farm。 Em
and I are going to ride over on horseback; but her cousin is going to ride
in the buggy with that German。 I don't think I've written to you since she
came back from school。 I don't think you would like her at all; Jemima;
there's something so proud about her。 She thinks just because she's
handsome there's nobody good enough to talk to her; and just as if there
had nobody else but her been to boarding…school before。
〃They are going to have a grand affair tomorrow; all the Boers about are
coming; and they are going to dance all night; but I don't think I shall
dance at all; for; as Em's cousin says; these Boer dances are low things。
I am sure I only danced at the last to please Em。 I don't know why she is
fond of dancing。 Em talked of our being married on the same day as Tant
Sannie; but I said it would be nicer for her if she waited till the
shearing was over; and I took her down to see you。 I suppose she will have
to live with us (Em's cousin; I mean); as she has not anything in the world
but a poor fifty pounds。 I don't like her at all; Jemima; and I don't
think you would。 She's got such queer ways; she's always driving about in
a gig with that low German; and I don't think it's at all the thing for a
woman to be going about with a man she's not engaged to。 Do you? If it
was me now; of course; who am a kind of connection; it would be different。
The way she treats me; considering that I am so soon to be her cousin; is
not at all nice。 I took down my album the other day with your likenesses
in it; and I told her she could look at it; and put it down close to her;
but she just said; Thank you; and never even touched it; as much as to say…
…What are your relations to me?
〃She gets the wildest horses in that buggy; and a horrid snappish little
cur belonging to the German sitting in front; and then she drives out
alone。 I don't think it's at all proper for a woman to drive out alone; I
wouldn't allow it if she was my sister。 The other morning; I don't know
how it happened; I was going in the way from which she was coming; and that
little beastthey call him Dossbegan to bark when he saw mehe always
does; the little wretchand the horses began to spring; and kicked the
splashboard all to pieces。 It was a sight to see Jemima! She has got the
littlest hands I ever sawI could hold them both in one of mine; and not
know that I'd got anything except that they were so soft; but she held
those horses in as though they were made of iron。 When I wanted to help
her she said; 'No thank you: I can manage them myself。 I've got a pair of
bits that would break their jaws if I used them well;' and she laughed and
drove away。 It's so unwomanly。
〃Tell father my hire of the ground will not be out for six months; and
before that Em and I will be married。 My pair of birds is breeding now;
but I haven't been down to see them for three days。 I don't seem to care
about anything any more。 I don't know what it is; I'm not well。 If I go
into town on Saturday I will let the doctor examine me; but perhaps she'll
go in herself。 It's a very strange thing; Jemima; but she never will send
her letters to post by me。 If I ask her she has none; and the very next
day she goes in and posts them herself。 You mustn't say anything about it;
Jemima; but twice I've brought her letters from the post in a gentleman's
hand; and I'm sure they were both from the same person; because I noticed
every little mark; even the dotting of the i's。
〃Of course it's nothing to me; but for Em's sake I can't help feeling an
interest in her; however much I may dislike her myself; and I hope she's up
to nothing。 I pity the man who marries her; I wouldn't be him for
anything。 If I had a wife with pride I'd make her give it up; sharp。 I
don't believe in a man who can't make a woman obey him。 Now EmI'm very
fond of her; as you knowbut if I tell her to put on a certain dress; that
dress she puts on; and if I tell her to sit on a certain seat; on that seat
she sits; and if I tell her not to speak to a certain individual; she does
not speak to them。 If a man lets a woman do what he doesn't like he's a
muff。
〃Give my love to mother and the children。 The veld here is looking pretty
good; and the sheep are better since we washed them。 Tell father the dip
he recommended is very good。
〃Em sends her love to you。 She is making me some woollen shirts; but they
don't fit me so nicely as those mother made me。
〃Write soon to
〃Your loving brother; Gregory。
〃P。S。She drove past just now; I was sitting on the kraal wall right
before her eyes; and she never even bowed。 G。N。R。〃
Chapter 2。VI。 A Boer…wedding。
〃I didn't know before you were so fond of riding hard;〃 said Gregory to his
little betrothed。
They were cantering slowly on the road to Oom Muller's on the morning of
the wedding。
〃Do you call this riding hard?〃 asked Em in some astonishment。
〃Of course I do! It's enough to break the horses' necks; and knock one up
for the whole day besides;〃 he added testily; then twisted his head to look
at the buggy that came on behind。 〃I thought Waldo was such a mad driver;
they are taking it easily enough today;〃 said Gregory。 〃One would think
the black stallions were lame。〃
〃I suppose they want to keep out of our dust;〃 said Em。 〃See; they stand
still as soon as we do。〃
Perceiving this to be the case; Gregory rode on。
〃It's all that horse of yours: she kicks up such a confounded dust; I
can't stand it myself;〃 he said。
Meanwhile the cart came on slowly enough。
〃Take the reins;〃 said Lyndall; and 〃and make them walk。 I want to rest
and watch their hoofs todaynot to be exhilarated; I am so tired。〃
She leaned back in her corner; and Waldo drove on slowly in the grey dawn
light along the level road。 They passed the very milk…bush behind which so
many years before the old German had found the Kaffer woman。 But their
thoughts were not with him that morning: they were the thoughts of the
young; that run out to meet the future; and labour in the present。 At last
he touched her arm。
〃What is it?〃
〃I feared you had gone to sleep and might be jolted out;〃 he said; 〃you sat
so quietly。〃
〃No; do not talk to me; I am not asleep;〃 but after a time she said
suddenly: 〃It must be a terrible thing to bring a human being into the
world。〃
Waldo looked round; she sat drawn into the corner; her blue cloud wound
tightly about her; and she still watched the horses' feet。 Having no
comment to offer on her somewhat unexpected remark; he merely touched up
his horses。
〃I have no conscience; none;〃 she added; 〃but I would not like to bring a
soul into this world。 When it sinned and when it suffered something like a
dead hand would fall on me'You did it; you; for your own pleasure you
created this thing! See your work!' If it lived to be eighty it would
always hang like a millstone round my neck; have the right to demand good
from me; and curse me for its sorrow。 A parent is only like to Godif his
work turns out bad; so much the worse for him; he dare not wash his hands
of it。 Time and years can never bring the day when you can say to your
child: 'Soul; what have I to do with you?'〃
Waldo said dreamingly:
〃It is a marvellous thing that one soul should have power to cause
another。〃
She heard the words as she heard the beating of the horses' hoofs; her
thoughts ran on in their own line。
〃They say; 'God sends the little babies。' Of all the dastardly revolting
lies men tell to suit themselves; I hate that most。 I suppose my father
said so when he knew he was dying of consumption; and my mother when she
knew she had nothing to support me on; and they created me to feed like a
dog from stranger hands。 Men do not say God sends the books; or the
newspaper articles; or the machines they make; and then sigh; and shrug
their shoulders and say they can't help it。 Why do they say so about other
things? Liars! 'God sends the little babies!'〃 She struck her foot
fretfully against the splashboard。 〃The small children say so earnestly。
They touch the little stranger reverently who has just come from God's far
country; and they peep about the room to see if not one white feather has
dropped from the wing of the angel that brought him。 On their lips the
phrase means much; on all others it is a deliberate lie。 Noticeable; too;〃
she said; dropping in an