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not one came。 He said; at last:
〃These Boer dances are very low things;〃 and then; as soon as it had gone
from him; he thought it was not a clever remark; and wished it back。
Before Lyndall replied Em looked in at the door。
〃Oh; come;〃 she said; 〃they are going to have the cushion…dance。 I do not
want to kiss any of these fellows。 Take me quickly。〃
She slipped her hand into Gregory's arm。
〃It is so dusty; Em; do you care to dance any more?〃 he asked; without
rising。
〃Oh; I do not mind the dust; and the dancing rests me。〃
But he did not move。
〃I feel tired; I do not think I shall dance again;〃 he said。
Em withdrew her hand; and a young farmer came to the door and bore her off。
〃I have often imagined;〃 remarked Gregorybut Lyndall had risen。
〃I am tired;〃 she said。 〃I wonder where Waldo is; he must take me home。
These people will not leave off till morning; I suppose; it is three
already。〃
She made her way past the fiddlers; and a bench full of tired dancers; and
passed out at the front door。 On the stoep a group of men and boys were
smoking; peeping in at the windows; and cracking coarse jokes。 Waldo was
certainly not among them; and she made her way to the carts and wagons
drawn up at some distance from the homestead。
〃Waldo;〃 she said; peering into a large cart; 〃is that you? I am so dazed
with the tallow candles; I see nothing。〃
He had made himself a place between the two seats。 She climbed up and sat
on the sloping floor in front。
〃I thought I should find you here;〃 she said; drawing her skirt up about
her shoulders。 〃You must take me home presently; but not now。〃
She leaned her head on the seat near to his; and they listened in silence
to the fitful twanging of the fiddles as the night…wind bore it from the
farmhouse; and to the ceaseless thud of the dancers; and the peals of gross
laughter。 She stretched out her little hand to feel for his。
〃It is so nice to lie here and hear that noise;〃 she said。 〃I like to feel
that strange life beating up against me。 I like to realise forms of life
utterly unlike mine。〃 She drew a long breath。 〃When my own life feels
small; and I am oppressed with it; I like to crush together; and see it in
a picture; in an instant; a multitude of disconnected unlike phases of
human lifea mediaeval monk with his string of beads pacing the quiet
orchard; and looking up from the grass at his feet to the heavy fruit…
trees; little Malay boys playing naked on a shining sea…beach; a Hindoo
philosopher alone under his banyan tree; thinking; thinking; thinking; so
that in the thought of God he may lose himself; a troop of Bacchanalians
dressed in white; with crowns of vine…leaves; dancing along the Roman
streets; a martyr on the night of his death looking through the narrow
window to the sky; and feeling that already he has the wings that shall
bear him up〃 (she moved her hand dreamily over her face); 〃an epicurean
discoursing at a Roman bath to a knot of his disciples on the nature of
happiness; a Kaffer witchdoctor seeking for herbs by moonlight; while from
the huts on the hillside come the sound of dogs barking; and the voices of
women and children; a mother giving bread…and…milk to her children in
little wooden basins and singing the evening song。 I like to see it all; I
feel it run through methat life belongs to me; it makes my little life
larger; it breaks down the narrow walls that shut me in。〃
She sighed; and drew a long breath。
〃Have you made any plans?〃 she asked him presently。
〃Yes;〃 he said; the words coming in jets; with pauses between; 〃I will take
the grey mareI will travel firstI will see the worldthen I will find
work。〃
〃What work?〃
〃I do not know。〃
She made a little impatient movement。
〃That is no plan; travelsee the worldfind work! If you go into the
world aimless; without a definite object; dreamingdreaming; you will be
definitely defeated; bamboozled; knocked this way and that。 In the end you
will stand with your beautiful life all spent; and nothing to show。 They
talk of geniusit is nothing but this; that a man knows what he can do
best; and does it; and nothing else。 Waldo;〃 she said; knitting her little
fingers closer among his; 〃I wish I could help you; I wish I could make you
see that you must decide what you will be and do。 It does not matter what
you choosebe a farmer; businessman; artist; what you willbut know your
aim; and live for that one thing。 We have only one life。 The secret of
success is concentration; wherever there has been a great life; or a great
work; that has gone before。 Taste everything a little; look at everything
a little; but live for one thing。 Anything is possible to a man who knows
his end and moves straight for it; and for it alone。 I will show you what
I mean;〃 she said; concisely; 〃words are gas till you condense them into
pictures。〃
〃Suppose a woman; young; friendless as I am; the weakest thing on God's
earth。 But she must make her way through life。 What she would be she
cannot be because she is a woman; so she looks carefully at herself and the
world about her; to see where her path must be made。
〃There is no one to help her; she must help herself。 She looks。 These
things she hasa sweet voice; rich in subtile intonations; a fair; very
fair face; with a power of concentrating in itself; and giving expression
to; feelings that otherwise must have been dissipated in words; a rare
power of entering into other lives unlike her own; and intuitively reading
them aright。 These qualities she has。 How shall she use them? A poet; a
writer; needs only the mental; what use has he for a beautiful body that
registers clearly mental emotions? And the painter wants an eye for form
and colour; and the musician an ear for time and tune; and the mere drudge
has no need for mental gifts。
〃But there is one art in which all she has would be used; for which they
are all necessarythe delicate expressive body; the rich voice; the power
of mental transposition。 The actor; who absorbs and then reflects from
himself other human lives; needs them all; but needs not much more。 This
is her end; but how to reach it? Before her are endless difficulties:
seas must be crossed; poverty must be endured; loneliness; want。 She must
be content to wait long before she can even get her feet upon the path。 If
she has made blunders in the past; if she has weighted herself with a
burden which she must bear to the end; she must but bear the burden
bravely; and labour on。 There is no use in wailing and repentance here:
the next world is the place for that; this life is too short。 By our
errors we see deeper into life。 They help us。〃 She waited for a while。
〃If she does all thisif she waits patiently; if she is never cast down;
never despairs; never forgets her end; moves straight toward it; bending
men and things most unlikely to her purposeshe must succeed at last。 Men
and things are plastic; they part to the right and left when one comes
among them moving in a straight line to one end。 I know it by my own
little experience;〃 she said。 〃Long years ago I resolved to be sent to
school。 It seemed a thing utterly out of my power; but I waited; I
watched; I collected clothes; I wrote; took my place at the school; when
all was ready I bore with my full force on the Boer…woman; and she sent me
at last。 It was a small thing; but life is made up of small things; as a
body is built up of cells。 What has been done in small things can be done
in large。 Shall be;〃 she said softly。
Waldo listened。 To him the words were no confession; no glimpse into the
strong; proud; restless heart of the woman。 They were general words with a
general application。 He looked up into the sparkling sky with dull eyes。
〃Yes;〃 he said; 〃but when we lie and think; and think; we see that there is
nothing worth doing。 The universe is so large; and man is so small〃
She shook her head quickly。
〃But we must not think so far; it is madness; it is a disease。 We know
that no man's work is great; and stands forever。 Moses is dead; and the
prophets and the books that our grandmothers fed on the mould is eating。
Your poet and painter and actor;before the shouts that applaud them have
died their names grow strange; they are milestones that the world has
passed。 Men have set their mark on mankind forever; as they thought; but
time has washed it out as it has washed out mountains and continents。〃 She
raised herself on her elbow。 〃And what if we could help mankind; and leave
the traces of our work upon it to the end? Mankind is only an ephemeral
blossom on the tree of time; there were others before it opened; there will
be others after it has fallen。 Where was man in the time of the
dicynodont; and when hoary monsters wallowed in the mud? Will he be found
in the aeons that are to com