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〃Did you ever visit that capital？〃 asked the prince。
〃Yes； several times；〃 I answered； 〃but not for divorce。 My domestic relations have always been very happy； but it is also a famous health resort； and I went there for the cure。〃
〃Tell us about your visit；〃 said the prince。
〃Well；〃 I continued； 〃it was out of season when I was first there； so the only amusement or public occasions of interest were prayer…meetings。〃
The old lady asked excitedly： 〃Share meetings？〃 She had been a large and unfortunate investor in American stocks。
I relieved her by saying： 〃No； not share meetings； but religious prayer…meetings。 I remember one evening that the gentleman who sat beside me turned suddenly to his wife and said： 'We must get out of here at once； the air is too close。' 'Why； no；' she said； 'the windows are all open and the breeze is fresh。' 'Yes；' he quickly remarked； 'but next to you are your two predecessors from whom I was divorced； and that makes the air too close for me。'〃
The old lady exclaimed： 〃What a frightful condition！〃
〃Tell us more；〃 said the prince。
〃Well；〃 I continued； 〃one day the mayor of the city invited me to accompany him to the station； as the divorce train was about to arrive。 I found at the station a judge and one of the court attendants。 The attendant had a large package of divorce decrees to which the seal of the court had been attached； and also the signature of the judge。 They only required to have the name of the party desiring divorce inserted。 Alongside the judge stood a clergyman of the Established Church in full robes of his sacred office。 When the passengers had all left the cars； the conductor jumped on to one of the car platforms and shouted to the crowd： 'All those who desire divorce will go before the judge and make their application。'
〃When they had all been released by the court the conductor again called out： 'All those who have been accompanied by their partners； or where both have been to…day released from their former husbands and wives to be remarried； will go before the rector。' He married them in a body； whereupon they all resumed their places on the train。 The blowing of the whistle and the ringing of the bell on the locomotive was the music of their first； second； or third honeymoon journey。〃
The old lady threw up her hands in horror and cried： 〃Such an impious civilization must come speedily not only to spiritual and moral destruction； but chaos。〃
Most of the company saw what an amazing caricature the whole story was and received it with great hilarity。 The effect of it was to end； for that circle； at least； and their friends； a serious discussion of the universality of American divorces。
The prince was always an eager sportsman and a very chivalric one。 At the time of one of the races at Cowes he became very indignant at the conduct of an American yachtsman who had entered his boat。 It was charged by the other competitors that this American yachtsman violated all the unwritten laws of the contest。
After the race the prince said to me： 〃A yacht is a gentleman's home； whether it is racing or sailing about for pleasure。 The owner of this yacht； to make her lighter and give her a better chance； removed all the furniture and stripped her bare。 He even went so far； I am told； that when he found the steward had left his stateroom a tooth…brush； he threw it out of the port window。〃
It will be seen from these few anecdotes how intensely human was the Prince of Wales。 He did much for his country； both as prince and king； and filled in a wise and able way the functions of his office。 Certainly no official did quite so much for the peace of Europe during his time； and no royalty ever did more to make the throne popular with the people。 I heard him speak at both formal and informal occasions； and his addresses were always tactful and wise。
While at Homburg we used to enjoy the delightful excursions to Nauheim； the famous nerve…cure place。 I met there at one time a peculiar type of Americans； quite common in former years。 They were young men who； having inherited fortunes sufficient for their needs； had no ambitions。 After a strenuous social life at home and in Europe； they became hypochondriacs and were chasing cures for their imaginary ills from one resort to another。
One of them； who had reached middle life； had； of course； become in his own opinion a confirmed invalid。 I asked him： 〃What brought you here？ You look very well。〃
〃That is just my trouble；〃 he answered。 〃I look very well and so get no sympathy； but my nervous system is so out of order that it only takes a slight shock to completely disarrange it。 For instance； the cause of my present trouble。 I was dining in Paris at the house of a famous hostess； and a distinguished company was present。 The only three Americans were two ladies and myself。 I was placed between them。 You know one of these ladies； while a great leader at home； uses very emphatic language when she is irritated。 The dinner； like most French dinners； with many courses； was unusually long。 Suddenly this lady； leaning over me； said to her sister： 'Damn it； Fan； will this dinner never end？' The whole table was shocked and my nerves were completely shattered。〃 The great war； as I think； exterminated this entire tribe。
I was delighted to find at Nauheim my old friends； Mark Twain and the Reverend Doctor Joseph Twichell； of Hartford； Conn。 Doctor Twichell was Mark Twain's pastor at home。 He was in college with me at Yale； and I was also associated with him in the governing corporation of Yale University。 He was one of the finest wits and remarkable humorists of his time。 Wit and humor were with him spontaneous； and he bubbled over with them。 Mark Twain's faculties in that line were more labored and had to be worked out。 Doctor Twichell often furnished in the rough the jewels which afterwards in Mark Twain's workshop became perfect gems。
I invited them to come over and spend the day and dine with me in the evening at Homburg。 Mark Twain at that time had the reputation in England of being the greatest living wit and humorist。 It soon spread over Homburg that he was in town and was to dine with me in the evening； and requests came pouring in to be invited。 I kept enlarging my table at the Kursaal； with these requests； until the management said they could go no farther。 I placed Mark Twain alongside Lady Cork； one of the most brilliant women in England。 In the course of years of acquaintance I had met Mark Twain under many conditions。 He was very uncertain in a social gathering。 Sometimes he would be the life of the occasion and make it one to be long remembered； but generally he contributed nothing。 At this dinner； whenever he showed the slightest sign of making a remark； there was dead silence； but the remark did not come。 He had a charming time； and so did Lady Cork； but the rest of the company heard nothing from the great humorist； and they were greatly disappointed。
The next morning Mark Twain came down to the springs in his tramping…suit； which had fairly covered the continent。 I introduced him to the Prince of Wales； and he was charmed with him in their hour of walk and talk。 At dinner that evening the prince said to me： 〃I would have invited Mark Twain this evening； if I thought he had with him any dinner clothes。〃
〃At my dinner last night；〃 I said； 〃he met every conventional requirement。〃
〃Then；〃 continued the prince； 〃I would be much obliged if you would get him for dinner with me to…morrow evening。〃
It was very much the same company as had dined with the prince the night before。 Again Twain was for a long time a complete disappointment。 I knew scores of good things of his and tried my best to start him off； but without success。 The prince； who was unusually adroit and tactful in drawing a distinguished guest out； also failed。 When the dinner was over； however； and we had reached the cigars； Mark Twain started in telling a story in his most captivating way。 His peculiar drawl； his habit in emphasizing the points by shaking his bushy hair； made him a dramatic narrator。 He never had greater success。 Even the veteran Mark himself was astonished at the uproarious laughter which greeted almost every sentence and was overwhelming when he closed。
There are millions of stories in the world； and several hundred of them good ones。 No one knew more of them than Mark Twain； and yet out of this vast collection he selected the one which I had told the night before to the same company。 The laughter and enjoyment were not at the story； but because the English had； as they thought； caught me in retailing to them from Mark Twain's repertoire one of his stories。 It so happened that it was a story which I had heard as happening upon our railroad in one of my tours of inspection。 I had told it in a speech； and it had been generally copied in the American newspapers。 Mark Twain's reputation as the greatest living humorist caused that crowd to doubt the originality of my stories。
Mark had declined the cigars； but the prince was so delighted that he offered him one of the highly prized selection from his own case。 This drew from him a story； which I have not seen in