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Cattle and Poultry； which he kept there in store； hee had a young
Boare readie fatted for Brawne； whereof yearly he used to kill one for
his owne provision； and alwaies in the month of December； he and his
wife resorted to their village house； to have a Brawne both killed and
salted。
It came to passe at this time concerning my Tale； that the Woman
being somewhat crazie and sickly； by her Husbands unkinde usage；
whereof you heard so lately； Calandrino went alone to the killing of
his Boare； which comming to the hearing of Bruno and Buffalmaco and
that the Woman could by no meanes be there： to passe away the time a
little in merriment； they went to a friendlie Companion of theirs；
an honest joviall Priest； dwelling not farre off from Calandrinoes
Countrey house。
The same morning as the Boare was kilde； they all three went
thither； and Calandrino seeing them in the Priests companie： bad
them all heartily welcome； and to acquaint them with his good
Husbandry； hee shewed them his house； and the Boare where it hung。
They perceyving it to be faire and fat； knowing also； that
Calandrino intended to salt it for his owne store； Bruno saide unto
him： Thou art an Asse Calandrino； sell thy Brawne； and let us make
merrie with the money： then let thy wife know no otherwise； but that
it was stolne from thee； by those theeves which continually haunt
country houses； especially in such scattering Villages。
Oh mine honest friends； answered Calandrino； your counsell is not to
be followed； neither is my wife so easie to be perswaded： this wer the
readiest way to make your house a hell； and she to become the Master
Divell： therefore talke no further； for flatly I will not doe it。
Albeit they laboured him very earnestly； yet all proved not to anie
purpose： onely he desired them to suppe with him； but in so colde a
manner； as they denyed him； and parted thence from him。 As they walked
on the way； Bruno saide to Buffalmaco。 Shall we three （this night） rob
him of his Brawne？ Yea marry （quoth Buffalmaco） how is it to be
done？ I have （saide Bruno） alreadie found the meanes to effect it；
if he take it not from the place where last we saw it。 Let us doe it
then （answered Buffalmaco） why should we not do it？ Sir Domine heere
and we； will make good cheare with it among our selves。 The nimble
Priest was as forward as the best； and the match being fully agreed
on； Bruno thus spake。 My delicate Sir Domine； Art and cunning must
be our maine helps： for thou knowest Buffalmaco； what a covetous
wretch Calandrino is； glad and readie to drink alwaies on other mens
expences： let us go take him with us to the Tavern； where the Priest
（for his owne honour and reputation） shall offer to make paiment of
the whole reckoning； without receiving a farthing of his； whereof he
will not be a little joyfull； so shall we bring to passe the rest of
the businesse； because there is no body in the house； but onely
himselfe： for he is best at ease without company。
As Bruno had propounded； so was it accordingly performed； and when
Calandrino perceyved； that the Priest would suffer none to pay； but
himselfe； he dranke the more freely； and when there was no neede at
all； tooke his Cuppes couragiously one after another。 Two or three
houres of the night were spent； before they parted from the Taverne；
Calandrino going directly home to his house； and instantly to bed；
without any other supper； imagining that he had made fast his doore；
which （indeede） he left wide open： sleeping soundly； without suspition
of any harme intended unto him。 Buffalmaco and Bruno went and supt
with the Priest； and so soone as supper was ended； they tooke certaine
Engines； for their better entering into Calandrinoes house； and so
went on to effect theyr purpose。 Finding the doore standing readie
open； they entered in； tooke the Brawne； carried it with them to the
Priests house； and afterward went all to bed。
When Calandrino had well slept after his Wine； he arose in the
morning； and being descended downe the staires； finding the street
doore wide open； he looked for the Brawne； but it was gone。
Enquiring of the neighbours dwelling neere about him； hee could
heare no tydings of his Brawne； but became the wofullest man in the
world； telling every one that his Brawne was stolne。 Bruno and
Buffalmaco being risen in the morning； they went to visite
Calandrino to heare how he tooke the losse of his Brawne： and hee no
sooner had a sight of them； but he called them to him； and with the
teares running downe his cheekes； sayde： Ah my deare friendes； I am
robde of my Brawne。 Bruno stepping closely to him； sayde in his
eare： It is wonderfull； that once in thy life time thou canst bee
wise。 How？ answered Calandrino； I speake to you in good earnest。
Speake so still in earnest （replied Bruno） and cry it out so loud as
thou canst； then let who list beleeve it to be true。
Calandrino stampt and fretted exceedingly； saying： As I am a true
man to God； my Prince； and Countrey； I tell thee truly； that my Brawne
is stolne。 Say so still I bid thee （answered Bruno） and let all the
world beleeve thee； if they list to do so； for I will not。 Wouldst
thou （quoth Calandrino） have me damne my selfe to the divell？ I see
thou dost not credit what I say： but would I were hanged by the necke；
if it be not true； that my Brawne is stolne。 How can it possible be；
replyed Bruno？ Did not I see it in thy house yesternight？ Wouldst thou
have me beleeve； that it is flowne away？ Although it is not flowne
away （quoth Calandrino） yet I am certain； that it is stolne away：
for which I am weary of my life； because I dare not go home to mine
owne house； in regard my wife will never beleeve it； and yet if she
should credite it； we are sure to have no peace for a twelve months
space。
Bruno； seeming as if he were more then halfe sorrowfull； yet
supporting still his former jesting humor； saide： Now trust mee
Calandrino； if it be so； they that did it are much too blame。 If it be
so？ answered Calandrino； Belike thou wouldst have mee blaspheme
Heaven； and all the Saints therein： I tell thee once againe Bruno；
that this last night my Brawne was stolne。 Be patient good Calandrino；
replyed Buffalmaco； and if thy Brawne be stolne from thee； there are
means enow to get it againe。 Meanes enow to get it againe？ said
Calandrino； I would faine heare one likely one； and let all the rest
go by。 I am sure Calandrino； answered Buffalmaco； thou art verily
perswaded； that no Theefe came from India； to steale thy Brawne from
thee： in which respect； it must needes then be some of thy Neighbours：
whom if thou couldst lovingly assemble together； I knowe an experiment
to be made with Bread and Cheese； whereby the party that hath it； will
quickly be discovered。
I have heard （quoth Bruno） of such an experiment； and helde it to be
infallible； but it extendeth onely unto persons of Gentilitie； whereof
there are but few dwelling heere about； and in the case of stealing
a Brawne； it is doubtfull to invite them； neither can there be any
certainty of their comming。 I confesse what you say； aunswered
Buffalmaco； to be very true： but then in this matter； so nerely
concerning us to be done； and for a deare Friend； what is your advice？
I would have Pilles made of Ginger； compounded with your best and
strongest Malmsey； then let the ordinary sort of people be invited
（for such onely are most to be mistrusted） and they will not faile
to come； because they are utterly ignorant of our intention。
Besides； the Pilles may as well bee hallowed and consecrated； as bread
and cheese on the like occasion。 Indeede you say true （replyed
Buffalmaco） but what is the opinion of Calandrino？ Is he willing to
have this tryall made； or no？ Yes； by all meanes； answered Calandrino；
for gladly I would know who hath stolne my Brawne； and your good words
have （more then halfe） comforted me already in this case。
Well then （quoth Bruno） I will take the paines to go to Florence； to
provide all things necessarie for this secret service； but I must
bee furnished with money to effect it。 Calandrino had some forty
shillings then about him； which he delivered to Bruno； who presently
went to Florence； to a frend of his an Apothecarie； of whom he
bought a pound of white Ginger； which hee caused him to make uppe in
small Pilles： and two other beside of a Dogges…dates or Dowsets；
confected all over with strong Aloes； yet well moulded in Sugare； as
all the rest were： and because they should the more easily bee
knowne from the other； they were spotted with Gold； in verie formall
and Physicall manner。 He bought moreover； a big Flaggon of the best
Malmesey； returning backe with all these things to Calandrino； and
directing him in this order。
You must put some friend in trust； to invite your Neighbors
（especially such as you suspect） to a breakfast in the morning： and
because it is done as a feast in kindnesse； they will come to you
the more willingly。 This night will I and Buffalmaco take such
order； that the Pilles shall have the charge imposed on them； and then
wee will bring them hither againe in the morning： and I； my selfe （for
your sake） will deliver them to your guests； and performe whatsoeve