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the fence till I struck the woods； and was back at the cave
in another half an hour。 I opened the note； got near the
lantern and read it to Bill。 It was written with a pen in a
crabbed hand； and the sum and substance of it was this：
Two Desperate Men。
Gentlemen： I received your letter to…day by post；
in regard to the ransom you ask for the return of my son。
I think you are a little high in your demands； and I hereby
make you a counter…proposition； which I am inclined to
believe you will accept。 You bring Johnny home and
pay me two hundred and fifty dollars in cash； and I agree
to take him off your hands。 You had better come at
night； for the neighbours believe he is lost； and I couldn't
be responsible for what they would do to anybody they
saw bringing him back。 Very respectfully；
EBENEZER DORSET。
〃Great pirates of Penzance！〃 says I； 〃of all the
impudent 〃
But I glanced at Bill； and hesitated。 He had the most
appealing look in his eyes I ever saw on the face of a dumb
or a talking brute。
〃Sam；〃 says he； 〃what's two hundred and fifty dollars；
after all？ We've got the money。 One more night of
this kid will send me to a bed in Bedlam。 Besides being
a thorough gentleman； I think Mr。 Dorset is a spend…
thrift for making us such a liberal offer。 You ain't going
to let the chance go； are you？〃
〃Tell you the truth； Bill；〃 says I； 〃this little he ewe
lamb has somewhat got on my nerves too。 We'll take
him home； pay the ransom and make our get…away。〃
We took him home that night。 We got him to go
by telling him that his father had bought a silver…mounted
rifle and a pair of moccasins for him； and we were going
to hunt bears the next day。
It was just twelve o'clock when we knocked at Ebene…
zer's front door。 Just at the moment when I should have
been abstracting the fifteen hundred dollars from the box
under the tree； according to the original proposition； Bill
was counting out two hundred and fifty dollars into
Dorset's hand。
When the kid found out we were going to leave him at
home he started up a howl like a calliope and fastened
himself as tight as a leech to Bill's leg。 His father peeled
him away gradually； like a porous plaster。
〃How long can you hold him？〃 asks Bill。
〃I'm not as strong as I used to be；〃 says old Dorset；
〃but I think I can promise you ten minutes。〃
〃Enough；〃 says Bill。 〃In ten minutes I shall cross
the Central； Southern and Middle Western States； and be
legging it trippingly for the Canadian border。〃
And； as dark as it was； and as fat as Bill was； and as
good a runner as I am； he was a good mile and a half
out of Summit before I could catch up with him。
THE MARRY MONTH OF MAY
PRITHEE； smite the poet in the eye when he would
sing to you praises of the month of May。 It is a month
presided over by the spirits of mischief and madness。
Pixies and flibbertigibbets haunt the budding woods：
Puck and his train of midgets are busy in town and
country。
In May nature holds up at us a chiding finger； bidding
us remember that we are not gods； but overconceited
members of her own great family。 She reminds us that
we are brothers to the chowder…doomed clam and the
donkey； lineal scions of the pansy and the chimpanzee；
and but cousins…german to the cooing doves； the quacking
ducks and the housemaids and policemen in the parks。
In May Cupid shoots blindfolded millionaires marry
stenographers； wise professors woo white…aproned gum…
chewers behind quick…lunch counters； schoolma'ams
make big bad boys remain after school； lads with ladders
steal lightly over lawns where Juliet waits in her trellissed
window with her telescope packed； young couples out
for a walk come home married； old chaps put on white
spats and promenade near the Normal School； even
married men； grown unwontedly tender and sentimental；
whack their spouses on the back and growl： 〃How goes
it； old girl：〃
This May； who is no goddess； but Circe； masquerading
at the dance given in honour of the fair d閎utante； Sum…
mer； puts the kibosh on us all。
Old Mr。 Coulson groaned a little； and then sat up
straight in his invalid's chair。 He had the gout very
bad in one foot； a house near Gramercy Park； half a
million dollars and a daughter。 And he had a house…
keeper； Mrs。 Widdup。 The fact and the name deserve
a sentence each。 They have it。
When May poked Mr。 Coulson he became elder brother
to the turtle…dove。 In the window near which he sat
were boxes of jonquils； of hyacinths； geraniums and
pansies。 The breeze brought their odour into the room。
Immediately there was a well…contested round between
the breath of the flowers and the able and active effluvium
from gout liniment。 The liniment won easily； but not
before the flowers got an uppercut to old Mr。 Coulson's
nose。 The deadly work of the implacable； false enchant…
ress May was done。
Across the park to the olfactories of Mr。 Coulson came
other unmistakable； characteristic； copyrighted smells
of spring that belong to the…big…city…above…the…Subway；
alone。 The smells of hot asphalt； underground caverns；
gasoline； patchouli； orange peel； sewer gas； Albany grabs；
Egyptian cigarettes； mortar and the undried ink on news…
papers。 The inblowing air was sweet and mild。 Sparrows
wrangled happily everywhere outdoors。 Never trust May。
Mr。 Coulson twisted the ends of his white mustache；
cursed his foot； and pounded a bell on the table by his
side。
In came Mrs。 Widdup。 She was comely to the eye；
fair； flustered； forty and foxy。
〃Higgins is out； sir；〃 she said； with a smile suggestive
of vibratory massage。 〃He went to post a letter。 Can
I do anything for you； sir？〃
〃It's time for my aconite；〃 said old Mr。 Coulson。
〃Drop it for me。 The bottle's there。 Three drops。
In water。 D that is； confound Higgins！ There's
nobody in this house cares if I die here in this chair for
want of attention。〃
Mrs。 Widdup sighed deeply。
〃Don't be saying that； sir；〃 she said。 〃There's them
that would care more than any one knows。 Thirteen
drops； you said； sir？〃
〃Three；〃 said old man Coulson。
He took his dose and then Mrs。 Widdup's hand。 She
blushed。 Oh； yes； it can be done。 Just hold your
breath and compress the diaphragm。
〃Mrs。 Widdup；〃 said Mr。 Coulson； 〃the springtime's
full upon us。〃
〃Ain't that right？〃 said Mrs。 Widdup。 〃The air's
real warm。 And there's bock…beer signs on every corner。
And the park's all yaller and pink and blue with flowers；
and I have such shooting pains up my legs and
body。〃
〃'In the spring；'〃 quoted Mr。 Coulson； curling his
mustache； 〃'a y that is； a man's fancy lightly turns
to thoughts of love。'〃
〃Lawsy； now！〃 exclaimed Mrs。 Widdup； 〃ain't that
right？ Seems like it's in the air。〃
〃'In the spring；'〃 continued old Mr。 Coulson； 〃'a
livelier iris shines upon the burnished dove。'〃
〃They do be lively； the Irish；〃 sighed Mrs。 Widdup
pensively。
〃Mrs。 Widdup；〃 said Mr。 Coulson； making a face at
a twinge of his gouty foot； 〃this would be a lonesome
house without you。 I'm an that is； I'm an elderly
man but I'm worth a comfortable lot of money。 If
half a million dollars' worth of Government bonds and
the true affection of a heart that； though no longer beating
with the first ardour of youth； can still throb with
genuine 〃
The loud noise of an overturned chair near the porti鑢es
of the adjoining room interrupted the venerable and
scarcely suspecting victim of May。
In stalked Miss Van Meeker Constantia Coulson； bony；
durable； tall； high…nosed； frigid； well…bred； thirty…five；
in…the…neighbourhood…of…Gramercy…Parkish。 She put up
a lorgnette。 Mrs。 Widdup hastily stooped and arranged
the bandages on Mr。 Coulson's gouty foot。
〃I thought Higgins was with you；〃 said Miss Van
Meeker Constantia。
〃Higgins went out；〃 explained her father； 〃and Mrs。
Widdup answered the bell。 That is better now； Mrs。
Widdup； thank you。 No； there is nothing else I require。〃
The housekeeper retired； pink under the cool； inquiring
stare of Miss Coulson。
〃This spring weather is lovely； isn't it； daughter？〃
said the old man； consciously conscious。
〃That's just it；〃 replied Miss Van Meeker Constantia
Coulson； somewhat obscurely。 〃When does Mrs。 Wid…
dup start on her vacation； papa？〃
〃I believe she said a week from to…day；〃 said Mr。
Coulson。
Miss Van Meeker Constantia stood for a minute at
the window gazing； toward the little park； flooded with
the mellow afternoon sunlight。 With the eye of a botanist
she viewed the flowers most potent weapons of insid…
ious May。 With the cool pulses of a virgin of Cologne
she withstood the attack of the ethereal mildness。 The
arrows of t