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conquered the obstacles which he must have overcome； and to have held
steadily on his course after he had once entered it。 Having begun by
quarreling with him； I was in a fair way to end by respecting him。 Surely
this man was worth preserving for Lucilla； after all！
〃May I ask where you were going； when we met at the port？〃 I continued。
〃Have you left Italy because there were no more wounded soldiers to be
cured？〃
〃There was no more work for me at the hospital to which I was attached；〃
he said。 〃And there were certain obstacles in my way； as a stranger and a
Protestant； among the poor and afflicted population outside the hospital。
I might have overcome those obstacles； with little trouble； among a
people so essentially good…tempered and courteous as the Italians； if I
had tried。 But it occurred to me that my first duty was to my own
countrymen。 The misery crying for relief in London； is misery not
paralleled in any city of Italy。 When you met me； I was on my way to
London； to place my services at the disposal of any clergyman； in a poor
neighborhood； who would accept such help as I can offer him。〃 He paused a
littlehesitatedand added in lower tones：〃That was one of my objects
in returning to England。 It is only honest to own to you that I had
another motive besides。〃
〃A motive connected with your brother and with Lucilla？〃 I suggested。
〃Yes。 Don't misinterpret me！ I am not returning to England to retract
what I said to Nugent。 I still leave him free to plead his own cause with
Lucilla in his own person。 I am still resolved not to distress myself and
distress them； by returning to Dimchurch。 But I have a longing that
nothing can subdue； to know how it has ended between them。 Don't ask me
to say more than that！ In spite of the time that has passed； it breaks my
heart to talk of Lucilla。 I had looked forward to a meeting with you in
London； and to hearing what I longed to hear； from your lips。 Judge for
yourself what my hopes were when I first saw your face； and forgive me if
I felt my disappointment bitterly； when I found that you had really no
news to tell； and when you spoke of Nugent as you did。〃 He stopped； and
pressed my arm earnestly。 〃Suppose I am right about Miss Finch's letter？'
he added。 〃Suppose it should really be waiting for you at the post？〃
〃Well？〃
〃The letter may contain the news which I most want to hear。〃
I checked him there。 〃I am not sure of that；〃 I answered。 〃I don't know
what it is that you most want to hear。〃
I said those words with a purpose。 What was the news he was longing for？
In spite of all that he had told me； my instincts answered： News that
Lucilla is still a single woman。 My object in speaking as I had just
spoken； was to tempt him into a reply which might confirm me in this
opinion。 He evaded the reply。 Was that confirmation in itself？ Yesas
_I_ think！
〃Will you tell me what there is in the letter？〃 he askedpassing； as you
see； entirely over what I had just said to him。
〃Yesif you wish it；〃 I answered： not over well pleased with his want of
confidence in me。
〃No matter what the letter contains？〃 he went on； evidently doubting me。
I said Yes； againthat one word； and no more。
〃I suppose it would be asking too much；〃 he persisted； 〃to ask you to let
me read the letter myself？〃
My temper； as you are well aware by this time； is not the temper of a
saint。 I drew my arm smartly out of his arm； and I surveyed him with；
what poor Pratolungo used to call； 〃my Roman look。〃
〃Mr。 Oscar Dubourg！ say； in plain words； that you distrust me。〃
He protested of course that he did nothing of the kindwithout producing
the slightest effect on me。 Just run over in your mind the insults；
worries； and anxieties which had assailed me； as the reward for my
friendly interest in this man's welfare。 Or； if that is too great an
effort； be so good as to remember that Lucilla's farewell letter to me at
Dimchurch； was now followed by the equally ungracious expression of
Oscar's distrustand this at a time when I had had serious trials of my
own to sustain at my father's bedside。 I think you will admit that a
sweeter temper than mine might have not unnaturally turned a little sour
under present circumstances。
I answered not a word to Oscar's protestationsI only searched
vehemently in the pocket of my dress。
〃Here；〃 I said； opening my card…case； 〃is my address in this place； and
here；〃 I went on； producing the document； 〃is my passport； if they want
it。〃
I forced the card and the passport into his hands。 He took them in
helpless astonishment。
〃What am I to do with these？〃 he asked。
〃Take them to the Poste…Restante。 If there is a letter for me with the
Dimchurch post…mark； I authorize you to open it。 Read it before it comes
into my handsand then perhaps you will be satisfied？〃
He declared that he would do nothing of the sortand tried to force my
documents back into my own possession。
〃Please yourself；〃 I said。 〃I have done with you and your affairs。 Mrs。
Finch's letter is of no earthly consequence to me。 If it _is_ at the
Poste…Restante； I shall not trouble myself to ask for it。 What concern
have I with news about Lucilla？ What does it matter to _me_ whether she
is married or not？ I am going back to my father and my sisters。 Decide
for yourself whether you want Mrs。 Finch's letter or not。〃
That settled it。 He went his way with my documents to the post…office；
and I went mine back to the lodging。
Arrived in my room； I still held to the resolution which I had expressed
to Oscar in the street。 Why should I leave my poor old father to go back
to England； and mix myself up in Lucilla's affairs？ After the manner in
which she had taken her leave of me； had I any reasonable prospect of
being civilly received？ Oscar was on his way to Englandlet Oscar manage
his own affairs； let them all three （Oscar； Nugent； Lucilla） fight it out
together among themselves。 What had I； Pratolungo's widow； to do with
this trumpery family entanglement？ Nothing！ It was a warm day for the
time of yearPratolungo's widow； like a wise woman； determined to make
herself comfortable。 She unlocked her packed box； she removed her
traveling costume； and put on her dressing…gown； she took a turn in the
roomand； if you had come across her at that moment； I wouldn't have
stood in your shoes for something； I can tell you！
（What do you think of my consistency by this time？ How often have I
changed my mind about Lucilla and Oscar？ Reckon it up； from the time when
I left Dimchurch。 What a picture of perpetual self…contradiction I
presentand how improbable it is that I should act in this illogical
way！ _You_ never alter your mind under the influence of your temper or
your circumstances。 No： you are； what they call； a consistent character。
And I？ Oh； I am only a human beingand I feel painfully conscious that I
have no business to be in a book。）
In about half an hour's time； the servant appeared with a little paper
parcel for me。 It had been left by a stranger with an English accent and
a terrible face。 He had announced his intention of calling a little
later。 The servant； a bouncing fat wench； trembled as she repeated the
message； and asked if there was anything amiss between me and the man
with the terrible face。
I opened the parcel。 It contained my passport； and； sure enough； the
letter from Mrs。 Finch。 Had he opened it？ Yes！ He had not been able to
resist the temptation to read it。 And more； he had written a line or two
on it in pencil； thus：〃As soon as I am fit to see you； I will implore
your pardon。 I dare not trust myself in your presence yet。 Read the
letter； and you will understand why。〃
I opened the letter。
It was dated the fifth of September。 I ran over the first few sentences
carelessly enough。 Thanks for my lettercongratulations on my father's
prospect of recoveryinformation about baby's gums and the rector's last
sermonmore information about somebody else； which Mrs。 Finch felt quite
sure would interest and delight me。 What！！！ 〃Mr。 Oscar Dubourg has come
back； and is now with Lucilla at Ramsgate。〃
I crumpled the letter up in my hand。 Nugent had justified my worst
anticipations of what he would do in my absence。 What did the true Mr。
Oscar Dubourg； reading that sentence at Marseilles； think of his brother
now？ We are all mortalwe are all wicked。 It is monstrous； but it is
true。 I had a moment's triumph。
The wicked moment gone； I was good againthat is to say； I was ashamed
of myself。
I smoothed out the letter； and looked eagerly for news of Lucilla's
health。 If the news was favorable； my letter committed to Miss
Batchford's care must have been shown to Lucilla by this time； must have
exposed Nugent's abominable personation of his brother； and must have
thus preserved her for Oscar。 In that case； all would be well again （and
my darling herself would own it）thanks to Me！
After telling me the news from Ramsgate； Mrs。 Finch began to drift into；
what you call； Twaddle。 She had just discovered （exactly as Oscar had
supposed） that she had lost my letter。 She would keep her own letter back
until the next day； on the chance of finding it。 If she failed she must
try Poste…Restante； at