按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
have sat like this with her for days； just to experience the feeling fully。
I had a dozen different arguments with myself while the minutes passed；
rationality struggling with desire as I tried to justify touching her。
Finally； Mr。 Banner turned the lights on again。
In the bright fluorescent light； the atmosphere of the room returned to normal。
Bella sighed and stretched； flexing her fingers in front of her。 It must have been
uncomfortable for her to hold that position for so long。 It was easier for me—stillness
came naturally。
I chuckled at the relieved expression on her face。 〃Well； that was interesting。〃
〃Umm；〃 she murmured； clearly understanding what I referred to； but making no
comment。 What I wouldn't give to hear what she was thinking right now。
I sighed。 No amount of wishing was going to help with that。
〃Shall we？〃 I asked； standing。
She made a face and got unsteadily to her feet； her hands splayed out as if she
were afraid she was going to fall。
I could offer her my hand。 Or I could place that hand underneath her elbow—just
lightly—and steady her。 Surely that wouldn't be such a horrible infraction？
No mistakes。
She was very quiet as we walked toward the gym。 The crease was in evidence
between her eyes； a sign that she was deep in thought。 I； too； was thinking deeply。
One touch of her skin wouldn't hurt her； my selfish side contended。
I could easily moderate the pressure of my hand。 It wasn't exactly difficult； as
long as I was firmly in control of myself。 My tactile sense was better developed than a
human's； I could juggle a dozen crystal goblets without breaking any of them； I could
stroke a soap bubble without popping it。 As long as I was firmly in control？
Bella was like a soap bubble—fragile and ephemeral。 Temporary。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
252
How long would I be able to justify my presence in her life？ How much time did
I have？ Would I have another chance like this chance； like this moment； like this second？
She would not always be within my arm's reach？
Bella turned to face me at the gym's door； and her eyes widened at the expression
on my face。 She didn't speak。 I looked at myself in the reflection of her eyes and saw
the conflict raging in my own。 I watched my face change as my better side lost the
argument。
My hand lifted without a conscious command for it to do so。 As gently as if she
were made of the thinnest glass； as if she were fragile as a bubble； my fingers stroked the
warm skin that covered her cheekbone。 It heated under my touch； and I could feel the
pulse of blood speed beneath her transparent skin。
Enough； I ordered； though my hand was aching to shape itself to the side of her
face。 Enough。
It was difficult to pull my hand back； to stop myself from moving closer to her
than I already was。 A thousand different possibilities ran through my mind in an
instant—a thousand different ways to touch her。 The tip of my finger tracing the shape of
her lips。 My palm cupping under her chin。 Pulling the clip from her hair and letting it
spill out across my hand。 My arms winding around her waist； holding her against the
length of my body。
Enough。
I forced myself to turn； to move away from her。 My body moved stiffly—
unwilling。
I let my mind linger behind to watch her as I walked swiftly away； almost running
from the temptation。 I caught Mike Newton's thoughts—they were the loudest—while
he watched Bella walk past him in oblivion； her eyes unfocused and her cheeks red。 He
glowered and suddenly my name was mingled with curses in his head； I couldn't help
grinning slightly in response。
My hand was tingling。 I flexed it and then curled it into a fist； but it continued to
sting painlessly。
No； I hadn't hurt her—but touching her had still been a mistake。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
253
It felt like fire—like the thirsting burn of my throat had spread throughout my
entire body。
The next time I was close to her； would I be able to stop myself from touching her
again？ And if I touched her once； would I be able to stop at that？
No more mistakes。 That was it。 Savor the memory； Edward； I told myself grimly；
and keep your hands to yourself。 That； or I would have to force myself to
leave？somehow。 Because I couldn't allow myself near her if I insisted on making
errors。
I took a deep breath and tried to steady my thoughts。
Emmett caught up to me outside the English building。
〃Hey； Edward。〃 He's looking better。 Weird； but better。 Happy。
〃Hey； Em。〃 Did I look happy？ I supposed； despite the chaos in my head； I felt
that way。
Way to keep your mouth shut； kid。 Rosalie wants to rip your tongue out。
I sighed。 〃Sorry I left you to deal with that。 Are you angry with me？〃
〃Naw。 Rose'll get over it。 It was bound to happen anyway。〃 With what Alice
sees coming？
Alice's visions were not what I wanted to think about right now。 I stared forward；
my teeth locking together。
As I searched for a distraction； I caught sight of Ben Cheney entering the Spanish
room ahead of us。 Ah—here was my chance to give Angela Weber her gift。
I stopped walking and caught Emmett's arm。 〃Hold on a second。〃
What's up？
〃I know I don't deserve it； but would you do me a favor anyway？〃
〃What is it？〃 he asked； curious。
Under my breath—and at a speed that would have made the words
incomprehensible to a human no matter how loud they'd been spoken—I explained to
him what I wanted。
He stared at me blankly when I was done； his thoughts as blank as his face。
〃So？〃 I prompted。 〃Will you help me do it？〃
It took him a minute to respond。 〃But； why？〃
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
254
〃C'mon； Emmett。 Why not？〃
Who are you and what have you done with my brother？
〃Aren't you the one who complains that school is always the same？ This is
something a little different； isn't it？ Consider it an experiment—an experiment in human
nature。〃
He stared at me for another moment before he caved。 〃Well； it is different； I'll
give you that？ Okay； fine。〃 Emmett snorted and then shrugged。 〃I'll help you。〃
I grinned at him； feeling more enthusiastic about my plan now that he was on
board。 Rosalie was a pain； but I would always owe her one for choosing Emmett； no one
had a better brother than mine。
Emmett didn't need to practice。 I whispered his lines to him once under my
breath as we walked into the classroom。
Ben was already in his seat behind mine； assembling his homework to hand in。
Emmett and I both sat and did the same thing。 The classroom was not quiet yet； the
murmur of subdued conversation would continue until Mrs。 Goff called for attention。
She was in no hurry； appraising the quizzes from the last class。
〃So；〃 Emmett said； his voice louder than necessary—if he were really speaking
only to me。 〃Did you ask Angela Weber out yet？〃
The sound of papers rustling behind me came to an abrupt stop as Ben froze； his
attention suddenly riveted on our conversation。
Angela？ They're talking about Angela？
Good。 I had his interest。
〃No；〃 I said； shaking my head slowly to appear regretful。
〃Why not？〃 Emmett improvised。 〃Are you chicken？〃
I grimaced at him。 〃No。 I heard that she was interested in someone else。〃
Edward Cullen was going to ask Angela out？ But？ No。 I don't like that。 I don't
want him near her。 He's？not right for her。 Not？safe。
I hadn't anticipated the chivalry； the protective instinct。 I'd been working for
jealousy。 But whatever worked。
〃You're going to let that stop you？〃 Emmett asked scornfully； improvising again。
〃Not up for the competition？〃
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
255
I glared at him； but made used of what he gave me。 〃Look； I guess she really
likes this Ben person。 I'm not going to try to convince her otherwise。 There are other
girls。〃
The reaction in the chair behind me was electric。
〃Who？〃 Emmett asked； back to the script。
〃My lab partner said it was some kid named Cheney。 I'm not sure I know who he
is。〃
I bit back my smile。 Only the haughty Cullens could get away with pretending
not to know every student at this tiny school。
Ben's head was whirling with shock。 Me？ Over Edward Cullen？ But why would
she like me？
〃Edward；〃 Emmett muttered in a lower tone； rolling his eyes toward the boy。
〃He's right behind you；〃 he mouthed； so obviously that the human could easily read the
words。
〃Oh；〃 I muttered back。
I turned in my seat and glanced once at the boy behind me。 For a second； the
black eyes behind the glasses were frightened； but then he stiffened and squared his
narrow shoulders； affronted by my clearly disparaging evaluation。 His chin shot out and
an angry flush darkened his golden…brown skin。
〃Huh；〃 I said arrogantly as I turned back to Emmett。
He thinks he's better than me。 But Angela doesn't。 I'll show him？
Perfect。
〃Didn't you say she was taking Yorkie to the dance； though？〃 Emmett asked；
snorting as he said the name of the boy that many scorned for his awkwardness。
〃That was a group decision apparently。〃 I wanted to be sure that Ben was clear
on this。 〃Angela's shy。 If B—well； if a guy doesn't