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a man。 All would not do。 A plague of all cowards！ Let them speak； If they
speak more or less than truth； they are villains and the sons of darkness。
Prince。 Speak； sirs。 How was it？ Gads。 We four set upon some dozen… Fal。
Sixteen at least； my lord。 Gads。 And bound them。 Peto。 No； no； they were
not bound。 Fal。 You rogue； they were bound； every man of them； or I am a
Jew else… an Ebrew Jew。 Gads。 As we were sharing； some six or seven
fresh men sea upon us… Fal。 And unbound the rest； and then come in the
other。 Prince。 What； fought you with them all？ Fal。 All？ I know not what
you call all； but if I fought not with fifty of them； I am a bunch of radish！
If there were not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack； then am I no
two…legg'd creature。 Prince。 Pray God you have not murd'red some of them。
Fal。 Nay； that's past praying for。 I have pepper'd two of them。 Two I am
sure I have paid； two rogues in buckram suits。 I tell thee what； Hal… if I tell
thee a lie； spit in my face； call me horse。 Thou knowest my old ward。 Here
I lay； and thus I bore my point。 Four rogues in buckram let drive at me。
Prince。 What； four？ Thou saidst but two even now。 Fal。 Four； Hal。 I told
thee four。 Poins。 Ay； ay； he said four。 Fal。 These four came all afront and
mainly thrust at me。 I made me no more ado but took all their seven points
in my target； thus。 Prince。 Seven？ Why； there were but four even now。 Fal。
In buckram？ Poins。 Ay； four； in buckram suits。 Fal。 Seven； by these hilts；
or I am a villain else。 Prince。 ＇aside to Poins＇ Prithee let him alone。 We
shall have more anon。 Fal。 Dost thou hear me； Hal？ Prince。 Ay； and mark
thee too； Jack。 Fal。 Do so； for it is worth the list'ning to。 These nine in
buckram that I told thee of… Prince。 So； two more already。 Fal。 Their points
being broken… Poins。 Down fell their hose。 Fal。 Began to give me ground；
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but I followed me close； came in； foot and hand； and with a thought seven
of the eleven I paid。 Prince。 O monstrous！ Eleven buckram men grown out
of two！ Fal。 But； as the devil would have it； three misbegotten knaves in
Kendal green came at my back and let drive at me； for it was so dark； Hal；
that thou couldst not see thy hand。 Prince。 These lies are like their father
that begets them… gross as a mountain； open； palpable。 Why； thou clay…
brain'd guts； thou knotty…pated fool； thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow…
catch… Fal。 What； art thou mad？ art thou mad？ Is not the truth the truth？
Prince。 Why； how couldst thou know these men in Kendal green when it
was so dark thou couldst not see thy hand？ Come； tell us your reason。
What sayest thou to this？ Poins。 Come； your reason； Jack； your reason。 Fal。
What； upon compulsion？ Zounds； an I were at the strappado or all the
racks in the world； I would not tell you on compulsion。 Give you a reason
on compulsion？ If reasons were as plentiful as blackberries； I would give
no man a reason upon compulsion； I。 Prince。 I'll be no longer guilty； of this
sin； this sanguine coward； this bed…presser； this horseback…breaker； this
huge hill of flesh… Fal。 'Sblood； you starveling； you elf…skin； you dried
neat's…tongue； you bull's sizzle； you stockfish… O for breath to utter what is
like thee！… you tailor's yard； you sheath； you bowcase； you vile standing
tuck！ Prince。 Well； breathe awhile； and then to it again； and when thou
hast tired thyself in base comparisons； hear me speak but this。 Poins。 Mark；
Jack。 Prince。 We two saw you four set on four； and bound them and were
masters of their wealth。 Mark now how a plain tale shall put you down。
Then did we two set on you four and； with a word； outfac'd you from your
prize； and have it； yea； and can show it you here in the house。 And；
Falstaff； you carried your guts away as nimbly； with as quick dexterity；
and roar'd for mercy； and still run and roar'd； as ever I heard bullcalf。 What
a slave art thou to hack thy sword as thou hast done； and then say it was in
fight！ What trick； what device； what starting hole canst thou now find out
to hide thee from this open and apparent shame？ Poins。 Come； let's hear；
Jack。 What trick hast thou now？ Fal。 By the Lord； I knew ye as well as he
that made ye。 Why； hear you； my masters。 Was it for me to kill the heir
apparent？ Should I turn upon the true prince？ Why； thou knowest I am as
valiant as Hercules； but beware instinct。 The lion will not touch the true
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prince。 Instinct is a great matter。 I was now a coward on instinct。 I shall
think the better of myself； and thee； during my life… I for a valiant lion； and
thou for a true prince。 But； by the Lord； lads； I am glad you have the
money。 Hostess； clap to the doors。 Watch to…night； pray to…morrow。
Gallants； lads； boys； hearts of gold； all the titles of good fellowship come
to you！ What； shall we be merry？ Shall we have a play extempore？ Prince。
Content… and the argument shall be thy running away。 Fal。 Ah； no more of
that； Hal； an thou lovest me！
Enter Hostess。
Host。 O Jesu； my lord the Prince！ Prince。 How now； my lady the
hostess？ What say'st thou to me？ Host。 Marry； my lord； there is a
nobleman of the court at door would speak with you。 He says he comes
from your father。 Prince。 Give him as much as will make him a royal man；
and send him back again to my mother。 Fal。 What manner of man is he？
Host。 An old man。 Fal。 What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight？ Shall
I give him his answer？ Prince。 Prithee do； Jack。 Fal。 Faith； and I'll send
him packing。 Exit。 Prince。 Now； sirs。 By'r Lady； you fought fair； so did
you； Peto； so did you； Bardolph。 You are lions too； you ran away upon
instinct； you will not touch the true prince； no… fie！ Bard。 Faith； I ran when
I saw others run。 Prince。 Tell me now in earnest； how came Falstaff's
sword so hack'd？ Peto。 Why； he hack'd it with his dagger； and said he
would swear truth out of England but he would make you believe it was
done in fight； and persuaded us to do the like。 Bard。 Yea； and to tickle our
noses with speargrass to make them bleed； and then to beslubber our
garments with it and swear it was the blood of true men。 I did that I did not
this seven year before… I blush'd to hear his monstrous devices。 Prince。 O
villain！ thou stolest a cup of sack eighteen years ago and wert taken with
the manner； and ever since thou hast blush'd extempore。 Thou hadst fire
and sword on thy side； and yet thou ran'st away。 What instinct hadst thou
for it？ Bard。 My lord； do you see these meteors？ Do you behold these
exhalations？ Prince。 I do。 Bard。 What think you they portend？ Prince。 Hot
livers and cold purses。 Bard。 Choler； my lord； if rightly taken。 Prince。 No；
if rightly taken； halter。
Enter Falstaff。
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Here comes lean Jack； here comes bare…bone。 How now； my sweet
creature of bombast？ How long is't ago； Jack； since thou sawest thine own
knee？ Fal。 My own knee？ When I was about thy years； Hal； I was not an
eagle's talent in the waist； I could have crept into any alderman's thumb…
ring。 A plague of sighing and grief！ It blows a man up like a bladder。
There's villanous news abroad。 Here was Sir John Bracy from your father。
You must to the court in the morning。 That same mad fellow of the North；
Percy； and he of Wales that gave Amamon the bastinado； and made Lucifer
cuckold； and swore the devil his true liegeman upon the cross of a Welsh
hook… what a plague call you him？ Poins。 O； Glendower。 Fal。 Owen；
Owen… the same； and his son…in…law Mortimer； and old Northumberland；
and that sprightly Scot of Scots； Douglas； that runs a…horseback up a hill
perpendicular… Prince。 He that rides at high speed and with his pistol kills
a sparrow flying。 Fal。 You have hit it。 Prince。 So did he never the sparrow。
Fal。 Well； that rascal hath good metal in him； he will not run。 Prince。 Why；
what a rascal art thou then； to praise him so for running！ Fal。 A…horseback；
ye cuckoo！ but afoot he will not budge a foot。 Prince。 Yes；