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what had happened。 To my mind； Mrs。 Tenbruggen's bosom…friend is
a creature not fit to be seen or heard when she loses her temper。
I only told her to leave the room。 To my great amusement； she
shook her bony fist at me； and expressed a frantic wish： 〃Oh； if
I was rich enough to leave this wicked house！〃 I wonder whether
there is insanity （as well as poverty） in Miss Jillgall's family？
Last night my mind was in a harassed state。 Philip was； as usual；
the cause of it。
Perhaps I acted indiscreetly when I insisted on his leaving
London； and returning to this place。 But what else could I have
done？ It was not merely my interest； it was an act of downright
necessity； to withdraw him from the influence of his hateful
fatherwhom I now regard as
the one serious obstacle to my marriage。 There is no prospect of
being rid of Mr。 Dunboyne the elder by his returning to Ireland。
He is trying a new remedy for his crippled handelectricity。 I
wish it was lightning； to kill him！ If I had given that wicked
old man the chance； I am firmly convinced he would not have let a
day pass without doing his best to depreciate me in his son's
estimation。 Besides； there was the risk； if I had allowed Philip
to remain long away from me； of losingno； while I keep my
beauty I cannot be in such danger as thatlet me say； of
permitting time and absence to weaken my hold on him。 However
sullen and silent he may be； when we meetand I find him in that
condition far too oftenI can； sooner or later； recall him to
his brighter self。 My eyes preserve their charm； my talk can
still amuse him； and； better even than that； I feel the answering
thrill in him； which tells me how precious my kisses arenot too
lavishly bestowed！ But the time when I am obliged to leave him to
himself is the time that I dread。 How do I know that his thoughts
are not wandering away to Eunice？ He denies it； he declares that
he only went to the farmhouse to express his regret for his own
thoughtless conduct； and to offer her the brotherly regard due to
the sister of his promised wife。 Can I believe it？ Oh； what would
I not give to be able to believe it！ How can I feel sure that her
refusal to see him was not a cunning device to make him long for
another interview； and plan perhaps in private to go back and try
again。 Marriage！ Nothing will quiet these frightful doubts of
mine； nothing will reward me for all that I have suffered；
nothing will warm my heart with the delightful sense of triumph
over Eunice； but my marriage to Philip。 And what does he say；
when I urge it on him？yes； I have fallen as low as that； in the
despair which sometimes possesses me。 He has his answer； always
the same； and always ready： 〃How are we to live？ where is the
money？〃 The maddening part of it is that I cannot accuse him of
raising objections that don't exist。 We are poorer than ever
here； since my father's illnessand Philip's allowance is barely
enough to suffice him as a single man。 Oh； how I hate the rich！
It was useless to think of going to bed。 How could I hope to
sleep； with my head throbbing； and my thoughts in this disturbed
state？ I put on my comfortable dressing…gown； and sat down to try
what reading would do to quiet my mind。
I had borrowed the book from the Library； to which I have been a
subscriber in secret for some time past。 It was an old volume；
full of what we should now call Gossip； relating strange
adventures； and scandalous incidents in family history which had
been concealed from public notice。
One of these last romances in real life caught a strong hold on
my interest。
It was a strange case of intended poisoning； which had never been
carried out。 A young married lady of rank； whose name was
concealed under an initial letter； had suffered some unendurable
wrong （which was not mentioned） at the hands of her husband's
mother。 The wife was described as a woman of strong passions； who
had determined on a terrible revenge by taking the life of her
mother…in…law。 There were difficulties in the way of her
committing the crime without an accomplice to help her； and she
decided on taking her maid； an elderly woman； into her
confidence。 The poison was secretly obtained by this person； and
the safest manner of administering it was under discussion
between the mistress and the maid； when the door of the room was
suddenly opened。 The husband； accompanied by his brother； rushed
in； and charged his wife with plotting the murder of his mother。
The young lady （she was only twenty…three） must have been a
person of extraordinary courage and resolution。 She saw at once
that her maid had betrayed her； and； with astonishing presence of
mind； she turned on the traitress； and said to her husband：
〃There is the wretch who has been trying to persuade me to poison
your mother！〃 As it happened； the old lady's temper was violent
and overbearing； and the maid had complained of being ill…treated
by her； in the hearing of the other servants。 The circumstances
made it impossible to decide which of the two was really the
guilty woman。 The servant was sent away； and the husband and wife
separated soon afterward； under the excuse of incompatibility of
temper。 Years passed； and the truth was only discovered by the
death…bed confession of the wife。 A remarkable story； which has
made such an impression on me that I have written it in my
Journal。 I am not rich enough to buy the book。
For the last two days； I have been confined to my room with a bad
feverish coldcaught； as I suppose； by sitting at an open window
reading my book till nearly three o'clock in the morning。 I sent
a note to Philip； telling him of my illness。 On the first day； he
called to inquire after me。 On the second day； no visit； and no
letter。 Here is the third dayand no news of him as yet。 I am
better； but not fit to go out。 Let me wait another hour； and； if
that exertion of patience meets with no reward； I shall send a
note to the hotel。
No news of Philip。 I have sent to the hotel。 The servant has just
returned； bringing me back my note。 The waiter informed her that
Mr。 Dunboyne had gone away to London by the morning train。 No
apology or explanation left for me。
_Can_ he have deserted me？ I am in such a frenzy of doubt and
rage that I can hardly write that horrible question。 Is it
possibleoh； I feel it _is_ possible that he has gone away with
Eunice。 Do I know where to find them？ if I did know； what could I
do？ I feel as if I could kill them both！
CHAPTER LIII。
HELENA'S DIARY RESUMED。
AFTER the heat of my anger had cooled； I made two discoveries。
One cost me a fee to a messenger； and the other exposed me to the
insolence of a servant。 I pay willingly in my purse and my pride；
when the gain is peace of mind。 Through my messenger I
ascertained that Eunice had never left the farm。 Through my own
inquiries； answered by the waiter with an impudent grin； I heard
that Philip had left orders to have his room kept for him。 What
misery our stupid housemaid might have spared me； if she had
thought of putting that question when I sent her to the hotel！
The rest of the day passed in vain speculations on Philip's
motive for this sudden departure。 What poor weak creatures we
are！ I persuaded myself to hope that anxiety for our marriage had
urged him to make an effort to touch the heart of his mean
father。 Shall I see him to…morrow？ And shall I have reason to be
fonder of him than ever？
We met again to…day as usual。 He has behaved infamously。
When I asked what had been his object in going to London； I was
told that it was 〃a matter of business。〃 He made that idiotic
excuse as coolly as if he really thought I should believe it。 I
submitted in silence； rather than mar his return to me by the
disaster of a quarrel。 But this was an unlucky day。 A harder
trial of my self…control was still to come。 Without the slightest
appearance of shame； Philip informed me that he was charged with
a message from Mrs。 Tenbruggen！ She wanted some Irish lace； and
would I be so good as to tell her which was the best shop at
which she could buy it？
Was he really in earnest？ 〃You；〃 I said； 〃who distrusted and
detested heryou are on friendly terms with that woman？〃
He remonstrated with me。 〃My dear Helena； don't speak in that way
of Mrs。 Tenbruggen。 We have both been mistaken about her。 That
good creature has forgiven the brutal manner in which I spoke to
her； when she was in attendance on my father。 She was the first
to propose that we should shake hands and forget it。 My darling；
don't let all the good feeling be on one side。 You have no idea
how kindly she speaks of you； and how anxious she is to help us
to be married。 Come！ come！ meet her half…way。 Write down the name
of the shop on my card； and I will take it back to her。〃
Sheer amazement kept me silent： I let him go on。 He was a mere
child in the hands of Mrs。 Tenbruggen： she had only to determine
to make a fool of him； and she could do it。
But why did she
do it？ What advantage had she to gain by insinuating herself in
this way into his good opinion； evidently with the intention of
urging him to reconcile us to each other？ How could we two poor
young people be of the smalle