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husband to like to wait even to hear that Philip's opinion _had_
altered。 It required much self…command not to hurry; even by manner;
her cousin's tardy; languid movements; but she had been well trained by
Charles in waiting on sick breakfasts。
When at length she was able to escape; she found that Guy had
undressed; and gone to bed again。 He said he was more comfortable; and
desired her to go and take her own breakfast before coming back to him;
and she obeyed as well as she could; but very soon was again with him。
He looked flushed and oppressed; and when she put her cool hand across
his forehead; she was frightened at the increased throbbing of his
temples。
'Amy;' said he; looking steadily at her; 'this is the fever。'
Without answering; she drew his hand into hers; and felt his pulse;
which did indeed plainly respond fever。 Each knew that the other was
recollecting what he had said; on Sunday; of the doctor's prediction;
and Amy knew he was thinking of death; but all that passed was a
proposal to send at once for the French physician。 Amabel wrote her
note with steadiness; derived from the very force of the shock。 She
could not think; she did not know whether she feared or hoped。 To act
from one moment to another was all she attempted; and it was well that
her imagination did not open to be appalled at her own situationso
young; alone with the charge of two sick men in a foreign country; her
cousin; indeed; recovering; but helpless; and not even in a state to
afford her counsel; her husband sickening for this frightful fever; and
with more than ordinary cause for apprehension; even without the
doctor's prophecy; when she thought of his slight frame; and excitable
temperament; and that though never as yet tried by a day's illness; he
certainly had more spirit than strength; while all the fatigue he had
been undergoing was likely to tell upon him now。 She did not look
forward; she did not look round; she did not hope or fear; she
_trusted_; and did her best for each; as she was wanted; trying not to
make herself useless to both; by showing that she wished to be in two
places at once。
It was a day sufficiently distressing in itself had there been no
further apprehension; for there was the restlessness of illness;
working on a character too active and energetic to acquiesce without a
trial in the certainty that there was no remedy for present discomfort。
There was no impatience nor rebellion against the illness itself; but a
wish to try one after another the things that had been effective in
relieving Philip during his recovery。 At the same time; he could not
bear that Amabel should do anything to tire herself; and was very
anxious that Philip should not be neglected。 He tossed from one side
to the other in burning oppression or cold chills; Amy saw him looking
wistful; suggested something by way of alleviation; then found he had
been wishing for it; but refraining from asking in order to spare her;
and that he was sorry when she procured it。 Again and again this
happened; she smoothed the coverings; and shook up the pillow: he would
thank her; look at her anxiously; beg her not to exert herself; but
soon grew restless; and the whole was repeated。
At last; as she was trying to arrange the coverings; he exclaimed;
'I see how it is。 This is impatience。 Now; I will not stir for an
hour;' and as he made the resolution; he smiled at treating himself so
like a child。 His power of self…restraint came to his aid; and long
before the hour was over he had fallen asleep。
This was a relief; yet that oppressed; flushed; discomposed slumber;
and heavy breathing only confirmed her fears that the fever had gained
full possession of him。 She had not the heart to write such tidings;
at least till the physician should have made them too certain; nor
could she even bear to use the word 'feverish;' in her answers to the
anxious inquiries Philip made whenever she went into his room; though
when he averted his face with a heavy sigh; she knew his conclusion was
the same as her own。
The opinion of the physician was the only thing wanting to bring home
the certainty; and that fell on her like lead in the evening; with one
comfort; however; that he thought it a less severe case than the former
one。 It was a great relief; too; that there was no wandering of mind;
only the extreme drowsiness and oppression; and when Guy was roused by
the doctor's visit; he was as clear and collected as possible; making
inquiries and remarks; and speaking in a particularly calm and quiet
manner。 As soon as the doctor was gone; he looked up to Amabel;
saying; with his own smile; only very dim;
'It would be of no use; and it would not be true; to say I had rather
you did not nurse me。 The doctor hopes there is not much danger of
infection; and it is too late for precautions。'
'I am very glad;' said Amy。
'But you must be wise; and not hurt yourself。 Will you promise me not
to sit up?'
'It is very kind of you to tell me nothing worse;' said she; with a sad
submissiveness。
He smiled again。 'I am very sorry for you;' he said; looking very
tenderly at her。 'To have us both on your hands at once! But it comes
straight from Heaven; that is one comfort; and you made up your mind to
such things when you took me。'
Sadness in his eye; a sweet smile on his lip; and serenity on his brow;
joined with the fevered cheek; the air of lassitude; and the panting;
oppressed breath; there was a strange; melancholy beauty about him; and
while Amy felt an impulse of ardent; clinging affection to one so
precious to her; there was joined with it a sort of awe and veneration
for one who so spoke; looked; and felt。 She hung over him; and
sprinkled him with Eau…de…Cologne; then as his hair teased him by
falling into his eyes; he asked her to cut the front lock off。 There
was something sad in doing this; for that 'tumble…down wave;' as
Charlotte called it; was rather a favourite of Amy's; it always seemed
to have so much sympathy with his moods; and it was as if parting with
it was resigning him to a long illness。 However; it was too
troublesome not to go; and he looked amused at the care with which she
folded up the glossy; brown wave; and treasured it in her dressing…
case; then she read to him a few verses of a psalm; and he soon fell
into another doze。
There was little more of event; day after day。 The fever never ran as
high as in Philip's case; and there was no delirium。 There was almost
constant torpor; but when for any short space he was thoroughly
awakened; his mind was perfectly clear; though he spoke little; and
then only on the subject immediately presented to him。 There he lay
for one quiet hour after another; while Amy sat by him; with as little
consciousness of time as he had himself; looking neither forward nor
backward; only to the present; to give him drink; bathe his face and
hands; arrange his pillows; or read or repeat some soothing verse。 It
always was a surprise when meal times summoned her to attend to Philip;
when she was asked for the letters for the post; when evening twilight
gathered in; or when she had to leave the night…watch to Arnaud; and go
to bed in the adjoining room。
This was a great trial; but he would not allow her to sit up; and her
own sense showed her that if this was to be a long illness; it would
not do to waste her strength。 She knew he was quiet at night; and her
trustful temper so calmed and supported her; that she was able to
sleep; and thus was not as liable to be overworked as might have been
feared; and as Philip thought she must be。
She always appeared in his room with her sweet face mournful and
anxious; but never ruffled; or with any air of haste or discomfiture;
desirous as she was to return to her husband; for; though he frequently
sent her to take care of herself or of Philip; she knew that while she
was away he always grew more restless and uncomfortable; and his look
of relief at her re…entrance said as much to her as a hundred
complaints of her absence would have done。
Philip was in the meantime sorely tried by being forced to be entirely
inactive and dependent; while he saw Amabel in such need of assistance;
and so far from being able to requite Guy's care; he could only look on
himself as the cause of their distress; and an addition to ita
burthen instead of a help。 If he had been told a little while ago what
would be the present state of things; he would almost have laughed the
speaker to scorn。 He would never have thought a child as competent as
Amy to the sole management of two sick persons; and he not able either
to advise or cheer her。 Yet he could not see anything went wrong that
depended on her。 His comforts were so cared for; that he w