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husband to like to wait even to hear that Philip's opinion _had_
altered。 It required much self…command not to hurry； even by manner；
her cousin's tardy； languid movements； but she had been well trained by
Charles in waiting on sick breakfasts。
When at length she was able to escape； she found that Guy had
undressed； and gone to bed again。 He said he was more comfortable； and
desired her to go and take her own breakfast before coming back to him；
and she obeyed as well as she could； but very soon was again with him。
He looked flushed and oppressed； and when she put her cool hand across
his forehead； she was frightened at the increased throbbing of his
temples。
'Amy；' said he； looking steadily at her； 'this is the fever。'
Without answering； she drew his hand into hers； and felt his pulse；
which did indeed plainly respond fever。 Each knew that the other was
recollecting what he had said； on Sunday； of the doctor's prediction；
and Amy knew he was thinking of death； but all that passed was a
proposal to send at once for the French physician。 Amabel wrote her
note with steadiness； derived from the very force of the shock。 She
could not think； she did not know whether she feared or hoped。 To act
from one moment to another was all she attempted； and it was well that
her imagination did not open to be appalled at her own situationso
young； alone with the charge of two sick men in a foreign country； her
cousin； indeed； recovering； but helpless； and not even in a state to
afford her counsel； her husband sickening for this frightful fever； and
with more than ordinary cause for apprehension； even without the
doctor's prophecy； when she thought of his slight frame； and excitable
temperament； and that though never as yet tried by a day's illness； he
certainly had more spirit than strength； while all the fatigue he had
been undergoing was likely to tell upon him now。 She did not look
forward； she did not look round； she did not hope or fear； she
_trusted_； and did her best for each； as she was wanted； trying not to
make herself useless to both； by showing that she wished to be in two
places at once。
It was a day sufficiently distressing in itself had there been no
further apprehension； for there was the restlessness of illness；
working on a character too active and energetic to acquiesce without a
trial in the certainty that there was no remedy for present discomfort。
There was no impatience nor rebellion against the illness itself； but a
wish to try one after another the things that had been effective in
relieving Philip during his recovery。 At the same time； he could not
bear that Amabel should do anything to tire herself； and was very
anxious that Philip should not be neglected。 He tossed from one side
to the other in burning oppression or cold chills； Amy saw him looking
wistful； suggested something by way of alleviation； then found he had
been wishing for it； but refraining from asking in order to spare her；
and that he was sorry when she procured it。 Again and again this
happened； she smoothed the coverings； and shook up the pillow： he would
thank her； look at her anxiously； beg her not to exert herself； but
soon grew restless； and the whole was repeated。
At last； as she was trying to arrange the coverings； he exclaimed；
'I see how it is。 This is impatience。 Now； I will not stir for an
hour；' and as he made the resolution； he smiled at treating himself so
like a child。 His power of self…restraint came to his aid； and long
before the hour was over he had fallen asleep。
This was a relief； yet that oppressed； flushed； discomposed slumber；
and heavy breathing only confirmed her fears that the fever had gained
full possession of him。 She had not the heart to write such tidings；
at least till the physician should have made them too certain； nor
could she even bear to use the word 'feverish；' in her answers to the
anxious inquiries Philip made whenever she went into his room； though
when he averted his face with a heavy sigh； she knew his conclusion was
the same as her own。
The opinion of the physician was the only thing wanting to bring home
the certainty； and that fell on her like lead in the evening； with one
comfort； however； that he thought it a less severe case than the former
one。 It was a great relief； too； that there was no wandering of mind；
only the extreme drowsiness and oppression； and when Guy was roused by
the doctor's visit； he was as clear and collected as possible； making
inquiries and remarks； and speaking in a particularly calm and quiet
manner。 As soon as the doctor was gone； he looked up to Amabel；
saying； with his own smile； only very dim；
'It would be of no use； and it would not be true； to say I had rather
you did not nurse me。 The doctor hopes there is not much danger of
infection； and it is too late for precautions。'
'I am very glad；' said Amy。
'But you must be wise； and not hurt yourself。 Will you promise me not
to sit up？'
'It is very kind of you to tell me nothing worse；' said she； with a sad
submissiveness。
He smiled again。 'I am very sorry for you；' he said； looking very
tenderly at her。 'To have us both on your hands at once！ But it comes
straight from Heaven； that is one comfort； and you made up your mind to
such things when you took me。'
Sadness in his eye； a sweet smile on his lip； and serenity on his brow；
joined with the fevered cheek； the air of lassitude； and the panting；
oppressed breath； there was a strange； melancholy beauty about him； and
while Amy felt an impulse of ardent； clinging affection to one so
precious to her； there was joined with it a sort of awe and veneration
for one who so spoke； looked； and felt。 She hung over him； and
sprinkled him with Eau…de…Cologne； then as his hair teased him by
falling into his eyes； he asked her to cut the front lock off。 There
was something sad in doing this； for that 'tumble…down wave；' as
Charlotte called it； was rather a favourite of Amy's； it always seemed
to have so much sympathy with his moods； and it was as if parting with
it was resigning him to a long illness。 However； it was too
troublesome not to go； and he looked amused at the care with which she
folded up the glossy； brown wave； and treasured it in her dressing…
case； then she read to him a few verses of a psalm； and he soon fell
into another doze。
There was little more of event； day after day。 The fever never ran as
high as in Philip's case； and there was no delirium。 There was almost
constant torpor； but when for any short space he was thoroughly
awakened； his mind was perfectly clear； though he spoke little； and
then only on the subject immediately presented to him。 There he lay
for one quiet hour after another； while Amy sat by him； with as little
consciousness of time as he had himself； looking neither forward nor
backward； only to the present； to give him drink； bathe his face and
hands； arrange his pillows； or read or repeat some soothing verse。 It
always was a surprise when meal times summoned her to attend to Philip；
when she was asked for the letters for the post； when evening twilight
gathered in； or when she had to leave the night…watch to Arnaud； and go
to bed in the adjoining room。
This was a great trial； but he would not allow her to sit up； and her
own sense showed her that if this was to be a long illness； it would
not do to waste her strength。 She knew he was quiet at night； and her
trustful temper so calmed and supported her； that she was able to
sleep； and thus was not as liable to be overworked as might have been
feared； and as Philip thought she must be。
She always appeared in his room with her sweet face mournful and
anxious； but never ruffled； or with any air of haste or discomfiture；
desirous as she was to return to her husband； for； though he frequently
sent her to take care of herself or of Philip； she knew that while she
was away he always grew more restless and uncomfortable； and his look
of relief at her re…entrance said as much to her as a hundred
complaints of her absence would have done。
Philip was in the meantime sorely tried by being forced to be entirely
inactive and dependent； while he saw Amabel in such need of assistance；
and so far from being able to requite Guy's care； he could only look on
himself as the cause of their distress； and an addition to ita
burthen instead of a help。 If he had been told a little while ago what
would be the present state of things； he would almost have laughed the
speaker to scorn。 He would never have thought a child as competent as
Amy to the sole management of two sick persons； and he not able either
to advise or cheer her。 Yet he could not see anything went wrong that
depended on her。 His comforts were so cared for； that he w