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periods lists of their wares； in the hope of thereby enticing readers to buy
those wares。
By what means these crafty tradesmen secure the names of their
prospective victims I cannot say； but this I know full wellthat there
seems not to be a book…lover on the face of the earth； I care not how
remote or how secret his habitation may be； that these dealers do not
presently find him out and overwhelm him with their delightful
temptations。
I have been told that among booksellers there exists a secret league
which provides for the interchange of confidences； so that when a new
customer enters a shop in the Fulham road or in Oxford street or along the
quays of Paris； or it matters not where （so long as the object of his inquiry
be a book）； within the space of a month that man's name and place of
residence are reported to and entered in the address list of every other
bookseller in Christendom； and forthwith and forever after the catalogues
and price…lists and bulletins of publishers and dealers in every part of the
world are pelted at him through the unerring processes of the mails。
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Judge Methuen has been a victim （a pleasant victim） to the catalogue
habit for the last forty years； and he has declared that if all the catalogues
sent to and read by him in that space of time were gathered together in a
heap they would make a pile bigger than Pike's Peak； and a thousandfold
more interesting。 I myself have been a famous reader of catalogues； and
I can testify that the habit has possessed me of remarkable delusions； the
most conspicuous of which is that which produces within me the
conviction that a book is as good as mine as soon as I have met with its
title in a catalogue； and set an X over against it in pencil。
I recall that on one occasion I was discussing with Judge Methuen and
Dr。 O'Rell the attempted escapes of Charles I。 from Carisbrooke Castle； a
point of difference having arisen； I said： ‘‘Gentlemen； I will refer to
Hillier's ‘Narrative；' and I doubt not that my argument will be sustained by
that authority。''
It was vastly easier； however； to cite Hillier than it was to find him。
For three days I searched in my library； and tumbled my books about in
that confusion which results from undue eagerness； 't was all in vain；
neither hide nor hair of the desired volume could I discover。 It finally
occurred to me that I must have lent the book to somebody； and then again
I felt sure that it had been stolen。
No tidings of the missing volume came to me； and I had almost
forgotten the incident when one evening （it was fully two years after my
discussion with my cronies） I came upon； in one of the drawers of my oak
chest； a Sotheran catalogue of May； 1871。 By the merest chance I
opened it； and as luck would have it； I opened it at the very page upon
which appeared this item：
‘‘Hillier （G。） ‘Narrative of the Attempted Escapes of Charles the First
from Carisbrooke Castle'； cr。 8vo； 1852； cloth； 3/6。''
Against this item appeared a cross in my chirography； and I saw at a
glance that this was my long…lost Hillier！ I had meant to buy it； and had
marked it for purchase； but with the determination and that pencilled cross
the transaction had ended。 Yet； having resolved to buy it had served me
almost as effectively as though I had actually bought it； I thoughtaye； I
could have sworn I HAD bought it； simply because I MEANT to buy it。
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THE LOVE AFFAIRS OF A BIBLIOMANIAC
‘‘The experience is not unique；'' said Judge Methuen； when I narrated
it to him at our next meeting。 ‘‘Speaking for myself； I can say that it is a
confirmed habit with me to mark certain items in catalogues which I read；
and then to go my way in the pleasing conviction that they are actually
mine。''
‘‘I meet with cases of this character continually；'' said Dr。 O'Rell。
‘‘The hallucination is one that is recognized as a specific one by
pathologists； its cure is quickest effected by means of hypnotism。 Within
the last year a lady of beauty and refinement came to me in serious distress。
She confided to me amid a copious effusion of tears that her husband was
upon the verge of insanity。 Her testimony was to the effect that the
unfortunate man believed himself to be possessed of a large library； the
fact being that the number of his books was limited to three hundred or
thereabouts。
‘‘Upon inquiry I learned that N。 M。 （for so I will call the victim of this
delusion） made a practice of reading and of marking booksellers'
catalogues； further investigation developed that N。 M。's great…uncle on his
mother's side had invented a flying…machine that would not fly； and that
a half…brother of his was the author of a pamphlet entitled ‘16 to 1； or the
Poor Man's Vade…Mecum。'
‘‘ ‘Madam；' said I； ‘it is clear to me that your husband is afflicted with
catalogitis。'
‘‘At this the poor woman went into hysterics； bewailing that she
should have lived to see the object of her affection the victim of a malady
so grievous as to require a Greek name。 When she became calmer I
explained to her that the malady was by no means fatal； and that it yielded
readily to treatment。''
‘‘What； in plain terms；'' asked Judge Methuen； ‘‘is catalogitis？''
‘‘I will explain briefly；'' answered the doctor。 ‘‘You must know first
that every perfect human being is provided with two sets of bowels； he has
physical bowels and intellectual bowels； the brain being the latter。
Hippocrates （since whose time the science of medicine has not advanced
even the two stadia； five parasangs of Xenophon） Hippocrates； I say；
discovered that the brain is subject to those very same diseases to which
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THE LOVE AFFAIRS OF A BIBLIOMANIAC
the other and inferior bowels are liable。
‘‘Galen confirmed this discovery and he records a case （Lib。 xi。； p。
318） wherein there were exhibited in the intellectual bowels symptoms
similar to those we find in appendicitis。 The brain is wrought into certain
convolutions； just as the alimentary canal is； the fourth layer； so called；
contains elongated groups of small cells or nuclei； radiating at right angles
to its plane； which groups present a distinctly fanlike structure。
Catalogitis is a stoppage of this fourth layer； whereby the functions of the
fanlike structure are suffered no longer to cool the brain； and whereby also
continuity of thought is interrupted； just as continuity of digestion is
prevented by stoppage of the vermiform appendix。
‘‘The learned Professor Biersteintrinken；'' continued Dr。 O'Rell； ‘‘has
advanced in his scholarly work on ‘Raderinderkopf' the interesting theory
that catalogitis is produced by the presence in the brain of a germ which
has its origin in the cheap paper used by booksellers for catalogue
purposes； and this theory seems to have the approval of M。 Marie…Tonsard；
the most famous of authorities on inebriety； in his celebrated classic
entitled ‘Un Trait sur Jacques…Jacques。' ''
‘‘Did you effect a cure in the case of N。 M。？'' I asked。
‘‘With the greatest of ease；'' answered the doctor。 ‘‘By means of
hypnotism I purged his intellectuals of their hallucination； relieving them
of their perception of objects which have no reality and ridding them of
sensations which have no corresponding external cause。 The patient
made a rapid recovery； and； although three months have elapsed since his
discharge； he has had no return of the disease。''
As a class booksellers do not encourage the reading of other
booksellers' catalogues； this is