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regain a scanty portion of senseenough to require some simple
pleasures and excitement； which would cost money。 And money should
not be wanting。 Peggy rather assisted her in the formation of her
parsimonious habits than otherwise； economy was the order of the
district； and a certain degree of respectable avarice the
characteristic of her age。 Only Willie was never stinted nor
hindered of anything that the two women thought could give him
pleasure； for want of money。
There was one gratification which Susan felt was needed for the
restoration of her mind to its more healthy state； after she had
passed through the whirling fever； when duty was as nothing； and
anarchy reigned； a gratification that； somehow； was to be her last
burst of unreasonableness； of which she knew and recognised pain as
the sure consequence。 She must see him once more；herself unseen。
The week before the Christmas of this memorable year； she went out in
the dusk of the early winter evening； wrapped close in shawl and
cloak。 She wore her dark shawl under her cloak； putting it over her
head in lieu of a bonnet； for she knew that she might have to wait
long in concealment。 Then she tramped over the wet fell…path； shut
in by misty rain for miles and miles； till she came to the place
where he was lodging； a farm…house in Langdale； with a steep； stony
lane leading up to it： this lane was entered by a gate out of the
main road； and by the gate were a few bushesthorns； but of them the
leaves had fallen； and they offered no concealment： an old wreck of
a yew…tree grew among them； however； and underneath that Susan
cowered down； shrouding her face； of which the colour might betray
her； with a corner of her shawl。 Long did she wait； cold and cramped
she became； too damp and stiff to change her posture readily。 And
after all； he might never come！ But； she would wait till daylight；
if need were； and she pulled out a crust； with which she had
providently supplied herself。 The rain had ceased；a dull； still；
brooding weather had succeeded； it was a night to hear distant
sounds。 She heard horses' hoofs striking and splashing in the
stones； and in the pools of the road at her back。 Two horses； not
well…ridden； or evenly guided； as she could tell。
Michael Hurst and a companion drew near： not tipsy； but not sober。
They stopped at the gate to bid each other a maudlin farewell。
Michael stooped forward to catch the latch with the hook of the stick
which he carried； he dropped the stick； and it fell with one end
close to Susan；indeed； with the slightest change of posture she
could have opened the gate for him。 He swore a great oath； and
struck his horse with his closed fist； as if that animal had been to
blame； then he dismounted； opened the gate； and fumbled about for his
stick。 When he had found it （Susan had touched the other end） his
first use of it was to flog his horse well； and she had much ado to
avoid its kicks and plunges。 Then； still swearing； he staggered up
the lane； for it was evident he was not sober enough to remount。
By daylight Susan was back and at her daily labours at Yew Nook。
When the spring came； Michael Hurst was married to Eleanor
Hebthwaite。 Others； too； were married； and christenings made their
firesides merry and glad； or they travelled； and came back after long
years with many wondrous tales。 More rarely； perhaps； a Dalesman
changed his dwelling。 But to all households more change came than to
Yew Nook。 There the seasons came round with monotonous sameness； or；
if they brought mutation； it was of a slow； and decaying； and
depressing kind。 Old Peggy died。 Her silent sympathy； concealed
under much roughness； was a loss to Susan Dixon。 Susan was not yet
thirty when this happened； but she looked a middle…aged； not to say
an elderly woman。 People affirmed that she had never recovered her
complexion since that fever； a dozen years ago； which killed her
father； and left Will Dixon an idiot。 But besides her gray
sallowness； the lines in her face were strong； and deep； and hard。
The movements of her eyeballs were slow and heavy； the wrinkles at
the corners of her mouth and eyes were planted firm and sure； not an
ounce of unnecessary flesh was there on her bonesevery muscle
started strong and ready for use。 She needed all this bodily
strength； to a degree that no human creature； now Peggy was dead；
knew of： for Willie had grown up large and strong in body； and； in
general； docile enough in mind； but； every now and then； he became
first moody； and then violent。 These paroxysms lasted but a day or
two； and it was Susan's anxious care to keep their very existence
hidden and unknown。 It is true； that occasional passers…by on that
lonely road heard sounds at night of knocking about of furniture；
blows； and cries； as of some tearing demon within the solitary farm…
house； but these fits of violence usually occurred in the night； and
whatever had been their consequence； Susan had tidied and redded up
all signs of aught unusual before the morning。 For； above all； she
dreaded lest some one might find out in what danger and peril she
occasionally was； and might assume a right to take away her brother
from her care。 The one idea of taking charge of him had deepened and
deepened with years。 It was graven into her mind as the object for
which she lived。 The sacrifice she had made for this object only
made it more precious to her。 Besides； she separated the idea of the
docile； affectionate； loutish； indolent Will； and kept it distinct
from the terror which the demon that occasionally possessed him
inspired her with。 The one was her flesh and her bloodthe child of
her dead mother； the other was some fiend who came to torture and
convulse the creature she so loved。 She believed that she fought her
brother's battle in holding down those tearing hands； in binding
whenever she could those uplifted restless arms prompt and prone to
do mischief。 All the time she subdued him with her cunning or her
strength； she spoke to him in pitying murmurs； or abused the third
person； the fiendish enemy； in no unmeasured tones。 Towards morning
the paroxysm was exhausted； and he would fall asleep； perhaps only to
waken with evil and renewed vigour。 But when he was laid down； she
would sally out to taste the fresh air； and to work off her wild
sorrow in cries and mutterings to herself。 The early labourers saw
her gestures at a distance； and thought her as crazed as the idiot…
brother who made the neighbourhood a haunted place。 But did any
chance person call at Yew Nook later on in the day； he would find
Susan Dixon cold； calm； collected； her manner curt； her wits keen。
Once this fit of violence lasted longer than usual。 Susan's strength
both of mind and body was nearly worn out； she wrestled in prayer
that somehow it might end before she； too； was driven mad； or； worse；
might be obliged to give up life's aim； and consign Willie to a
madhouse。 From that moment of prayer （as she afterwards
superstitiously thought） Willie calmedand then he droopedand then
he sankand； last of all； he died in reality from physical
exhaustion。
But he was so gentle and tender as he lay on his dying bed； such
strange； child…like gleams of returning intelligence came over his
face； long after the power to make his dull； inarticulate sounds had
departed； that Susan was attracted to him by a stronger tie than she
had ever felt before。 It was something to have even an idiot loving
her with dumb； wistful； animal affection； something to have any
creature looking at her with such beseeching eyes； imploring
protection from the insidious enemy stealing on。 And yet she knew
that to him death was no enemy； but a true friend； restoring light
and health to his poor clouded mind。 It was to her that death was an
enemy； to her； the survivor； when Willie died； there was no one to
love her。
Worse doom still； there was no one left on earth for her to love。
You now know why no wandering tourist could persuade her to receive
him as a lodger； why no tired traveller could melt her heart to
afford him rest and refreshment； why long habits of seclusion had
given her a moroseness of manner； and how care for the interests of
another had rendered her keen and miserly。
But there was a third act in the drama of her life。
CHAPTER V。
In spite of Peggy's prophecy that Susan's life should not seem long；
it did seem wearisome and endless； as the years slowly uncoiled their
monotonous circles。 To be sure； she might have made change for
herself； but she did not care to do it。 It was； indeed； more than
〃not caring；〃 which merely implies a certain degree of vis inertiae
to be subdued before an object can be attained； and that the object
itself does not seem to be of sufficient importance to call out the
requisite energy。 On the contrary； Susan exerted herself to avo