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Omally whistled。 'As big as that； eh？'
'As big； and this huge clock is kept accurately ticking away by the piles of pennies placed upon that pendulum by the builders of the thing。 Am I right？'
'You are；' said Omally agreeably； 'you are indeed。'
'Well then！' said Pooley triumphantly。
'Well then what？'
Pooley sighed； he was clearly speaking to an idiot。 'The Great Pyramid is to the planet Earth what the penny piles are to Big Ben's pendulum。 Shall I explain fully？'
'Perhaps you should； Jim； but make it a quick one； eh？'
'Well then； as we are all aware； these ancient Egyptians were a pretty canny bunch。 Greatly skilled at plotting the heavens and working things out on the old slide rule。 Well； it is my belief that sometime back then some sort of catastrophe； no doubt of a cosmic nature； occurred and pushed the Earth a little off its axis。 There is a great deal of evidence to support this； the sudden extinction of the mammoths； the shifting of the Polar caps； all this kind of thing。'
Omally yawned。 'Sorry；' he said。
'Now these Egyptian lads were not to be caught napping and when they realized that impending doom was heading their way they did the only logical thing and took corrective measures。'
'Corrective measures？' The bottom of Omally's glass was already in sight and he could feel the dartboard calling。
'Corrective measures they took；' said Jim； 'by building a kind of counterbalance upon the Earth's surface to keep the thing running on trim。 They selected the exact spot which bisects exactly the continents and oceans。 They aligned their construction to the four cardinal points and then whammo； or not whammo； as the case may be。 There you are； you see； case proven； we have a great deal to thank those ancient sunburned builders for。'
Omally seemed strangely doubtful。 'There has been a lot of building work done about the world since that time；' he said； 'some of which I can personally vouch for。 With all that weight being unevenly distributed about the place； I have the feeling that your old pyramid would bee somewhat overwhelmed。'
Pooley shook his head。 'The pyramid is a unique structure； it has an exact weight； mass； and density ratio to the planet itself。 It is the one construction which will fill the bill exactly。 The stones quarried for it were cut to carefully calculated sizes and shapes； each is an integral part interlocking like a Chinese puzzle。 The inner chambers are aligned in such a way as to channel certain earth currents to maximum effect。 It is much more than simply a big lump of rock。 No matter how many other buildings go up all over the world； the pyramid will still maintain its function。 To alter the Earth's motion one would have to actually move the Great Pyramid。'
'I'll chalk up then；' said Omally； but the remark was apparently not directed to Jim Pooley。
Norman； however； was entranced。 Could there possibly be any conceivable truth behind Pooley's ramblings？ It all seemed impossibly far…fetched。 But what if it were so？ The implications were staggering！ If one could actually alter the course of the Earth by moving the Great Pyramid about； then one could wield quite a lot of weight； in more than one sense only。 A bit of a tilt northwards and Brentford would enjoy tropical summers； a mite more later in the year and there would be tropical winters too。 It was all in the wrist action。
It would be quite a task； though； the Great Pyramid was estimated to weigh upwards of five million； nine hundred and twenty…three thousand； four hundred tons。 It would take more than a builder's lorry and a bunch of willing lads on double bubble。 Possibly he could bribe coachloads of tourists into each bringing back a bit with them。 That would be a lengthy business though。
Norman's gigantic intellect went into overdrive。 He had been experimenting for years with a concept based upon Einstein's unified field theory； which was concerned primarily with the invisibilizing and teleportation of solid objects。 It was rumoured that the US Navy had made a successful experiment during the war； creating some kind of magnetic camouflage which to all intents and purposes made an entire battle cruiser vanish momentarily。 Einstein himself； it was said； had forbidden any further experimentation； due to the disastrous effects visited upon the crew。
Norman had recalled thinking on more than one occasion that Einstein； although an individual given to the rare flash of inspiration； had for the most part been a little too windy by half。 Now if the Great Pyramid could be teleported from one site to another it might be very instructive to observe the results 。 。 。
Norman scuffed his feet amongst the wreckage。 It had all been so long ago； a lot of peanuts had lodged under the old bridge since then。 But he had proved that at least some of it was possible。 In fact； the more he thought about it the more he realized that to teleport a live camel from the Nile Delta to the St Mary's allotment； in a matter of seconds； wasn't a bad day's work after all。 He was definitely well on his way。
Norman smiled contentedly； picked his way over to the corner sink and； drawing back the undercurtain； took out a bottle of Small Dave's home…made cabbage beer； a crate of which he had taken in payment for an unpaid yearly subscription to Psychic News。 It was a little on the earthy side and had more than a hint of the wily sprout about it； but it did creep up on you and was always of use if your lighter had run low。
'The ultimate quest；' said Norman； raising the bottle towards the charred ceiling of the war…torn kitchenette。
It had long been a habit of his； one born it is to be believed at a Cowboy Night he had attended some years previously； for Norman to wrench the hard…edged cap from the bottle's neck with his teeth before draining deeply from its glassy throat。
In his enthusiasm he quite forgot the matter of his wayward dentures。
The ensuing scream rattled chimney pots several streets away and caused many of the 'sleeping just' to stir in their slumber and cross themselves fitfully。
12
Elsewhere other early recumbents were stirring to the sound of fire…engine bells and the cheers of an assembled throng of spectators。 There was a fair amount of noise and chaos； smoke and flame； when the front bedroom floor at twenty…seven Silver Birch Terrace collapsed； bringing with it a hundred…thousand volumes of Poe and an apparently atose postman of below average height。
When the firemen； who had been amusing themselves by flooding neighbouring front rooms and washing out carefully…laid gardens； finally finished their work upon Small Dave's house； the ambulance men； who had been grudgingly aroused from their dominoes； moved in to claim the corpse in the interests of medical science。 They were more than surprised to find the postman sitting virtually uncharred in the ruins of his living room； legs crossed and bearing a baked sprout hi his right hand。 He wore a smiling and benign expression upon his elfin face and seemed to be hiunming something。 Shrugging helplessly； they wrapped him up in a red blanket and bundled him into the ambulance。
When the sound of its departing bells had faded； along with those of the appliance； away into the night； the observers of the holocaust drifted away to brew cocoa and prepare for their beds。 Eventually just two members of the jolly band remained； one a fellow of Irish extraction and the other a man with a twitching right forefinger。
'What now？' asked John Omally。
'A nocturnal tournament？' Pooley suggested。 'One for the road before we turn in； how does double or quits suit you？'
'Very well； I think you owe me something for the evening of embarrassment you have given me。 Care to put an extra wager upon the course record？'
Pooley； who considered his sobriety to give him the natural edge； nodded enthusiastically and the two men wandered off towards the allotment。 Omally affected the occasional drunken side…step in the hope of adding weight to Pooley's conviction and causing him to bet a little more recklessly。
It was a clear night。 A hunter's moon swam above in the heavens； edging the corrugated sheds with a priceless silver。 The course was illuminated to such a degree that there was no need for the employment of the miner's helmets Pooley had improvised for late matches。
The allotment gates were barred and bolted。 An officious Council lackey had also seen to it that they were now surmounted by a row of murderous looking barbs and a tangle of barbed wire。 Exactly why； nobody could guess。 Pooley and Omally were obliged to use their own private entrance。
'A nine…holer or the full eighteen； Jim？'
'The night is yet young and I feel more than equal to the task； remembering that you are already deeply in my debt。' Pooley quietly unlocked his shed and withdrew the two sets of hidden clubs。
Omally tossed a coin。 'Heads；' he said； as the copper coin spun into the night sky。
Had the falling coin actually struck terra firma； as one might naturally have assumed that it would； it is possible that the events which followed might never have occurred。 It is possible； but it is unlikely。 The coin tumbled towards the allotment dust； until it reached a point about three inche